Archive for September 4th, 2010

I’ve got a little problem in the gastro dept.  Actually, it’s a big one.  What’s worse? I don’t know how to solve it!!! The only thing that seems to make it “go away” is to starve myself.  Yep.  That’s right.  If I don’t eat at all, it doesn’t happen.

The entire point of my bizarre and horrific, gastroenterological existence over the years (apart from getting well) has been to gain weight.  When I became sick again earlier this year, a new crop of signs and symptoms arose that looked, well…”promising.”  As odd as that sounds, “promising” meaning it looked like malabsorption issues.  HOORAY! WHOOPEE! BRING ON THE GASTROSCOPY AND LET’S GET THOSE BIOPSIES DONE!

Well, guess what.  Everything negative.  Sure, sure.  That’s good.  PAs not dying.  However, she is! Okay, not literally but…

Earlier this year, I dropped from 100lbs. down to 93lbs.  The intestines really hit the fan years ago, when I fell down to 90lbs.! So, this year??? We’re back to the “Danger Zone.”  Plus, I’ve never been able to get back up past 100-stupid-goddamn-bloody-lbs.!!! I need to do that! I want to do that! I have no clue where I am now.  Maybe 95lbs.?

So, what is this problem? GAH.

How many of you out there have taken Zyprexa/Olanzapine? I swear, it’s like I’m living that nightmare all over again! Minus the weight gain, of course.  Just the pain in the ass stomach whatever, other side effect!

For those of you that don’t know, Zyprexa is one of the Atypical (Second Generation) Antipsychotics.  It has basically the worst reputation for increased appetite and weight gain.

When I was on it? It was unbearable.  I was hungry all the time. I just couldn’t get enough to eat! No matter how much, I was always STARVING!!! I gained weight, too.  But the constant hunger, it just had no end! That was worse than the weight gain! Absolutely!

Okay.  So, here’s the deal.  This originally began this year when I got sick, and it does show up in some cases of malabsorption.  Even in this one specific instance.  Maybe? I would be waking up in the middle of the night (and I’d crave it massively during the day as well) dying for chocolate.  And not just that.  TRUCKLOADS of it.  And I’d eat it, too.  No, you people would not believe the insane crap that I can eat and not gain weight.  Frustrating!

The chocolate thing could have been related to a malabsorption of magnesium and blah, blah…  Well, the thing is, this hasn’t gone away.  Plus, it’s not just chocolate anymore (although it’s still a prime candidate.)  My dietician said I was waking up hungry in the middle of the night because I was still hungry from not eating enough throughout the day.  Uhhh…okay.  But if I didn’t eat at all during the day wouldn’t I still…?

I can eat during the day.  I can still have a sizeable dinner etc…  Then, I’ll go to bed, regular schedule AND WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT STARVING!!! If I have nothing to eat all day, I sleep like a baby! My tummy does not make me walk the plank to the kitchen at who knows what hour of the night or morning!

Which I will also add is rather dangerous.  I now take Seroquel/Quetiapine for my chronic insomnia.  It is another Atypical (ironically, it doesn’t increase my appetite or make me gain weight.)  I am happy that it is powerful enough to work (unless I’m stressed etc… and then some Valium/Diazepam for assistance.)  Regardless, combo or not, I’m knocked out.  I cannot count the number the times I have risked serious injury, trying to scrounge around for something to eat, in my neuroleptic, induced stupor.

Perhaps the final reason why this doesn’t make sense? I’ve never been like this before! Never! Lest my few months on the charming Zyprexa! And no, it’s not some “latent” side effect of the Seroquel, that is suddenly rearing its ugly head.  I’ve been on the med for too long, and it’s an established pattern.  I eat, I wake up starving; I don’t eat, I don’t wake up starving.

Well, I know I can’t stop eating forever. *laughing*  Maybe there’s some way to…  I don’t know.  I’m stumped.  You’ve got me, tummy!

I’ve always been really in tune with my body in terms of my health.  Here? Whoa.