Tummy Treason and Meal Malfeasance

I’ve got a little problem in the gastro dept.  Actually, it’s a big one.  What’s worse? I don’t know how to solve it!!! The only thing that seems to make it “go away” is to starve myself.  Yep.  That’s right.  If I don’t eat at all, it doesn’t happen.

The entire point of my bizarre and horrific, gastroenterological existence over the years (apart from getting well) has been to gain weight.  When I became sick again earlier this year, a new crop of signs and symptoms arose that looked, well…”promising.”  As odd as that sounds, “promising” meaning it looked like malabsorption issues.  HOORAY! WHOOPEE! BRING ON THE GASTROSCOPY AND LET’S GET THOSE BIOPSIES DONE!

Well, guess what.  Everything negative.  Sure, sure.  That’s good.  PAs not dying.  However, she is! Okay, not literally but…

Earlier this year, I dropped from 100lbs. down to 93lbs.  The intestines really hit the fan years ago, when I fell down to 90lbs.! So, this year??? We’re back to the “Danger Zone.”  Plus, I’ve never been able to get back up past 100-stupid-goddamn-bloody-lbs.!!! I need to do that! I want to do that! I have no clue where I am now.  Maybe 95lbs.?

So, what is this problem? GAH.

How many of you out there have taken Zyprexa/Olanzapine? I swear, it’s like I’m living that nightmare all over again! Minus the weight gain, of course.  Just the pain in the ass stomach whatever, other side effect!

For those of you that don’t know, Zyprexa is one of the Atypical (Second Generation) Antipsychotics.  It has basically the worst reputation for increased appetite and weight gain.

When I was on it? It was unbearable.  I was hungry all the time. I just couldn’t get enough to eat! No matter how much, I was always STARVING!!! I gained weight, too.  But the constant hunger, it just had no end! That was worse than the weight gain! Absolutely!

Okay.  So, here’s the deal.  This originally began this year when I got sick, and it does show up in some cases of malabsorption.  Even in this one specific instance.  Maybe? I would be waking up in the middle of the night (and I’d crave it massively during the day as well) dying for chocolate.  And not just that.  TRUCKLOADS of it.  And I’d eat it, too.  No, you people would not believe the insane crap that I can eat and not gain weight.  Frustrating!

The chocolate thing could have been related to a malabsorption of magnesium and blah, blah…  Well, the thing is, this hasn’t gone away.  Plus, it’s not just chocolate anymore (although it’s still a prime candidate.)  My dietician said I was waking up hungry in the middle of the night because I was still hungry from not eating enough throughout the day.  Uhhh…okay.  But if I didn’t eat at all during the day wouldn’t I still…?

I can eat during the day.  I can still have a sizeable dinner etc…  Then, I’ll go to bed, regular schedule AND WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT STARVING!!! If I have nothing to eat all day, I sleep like a baby! My tummy does not make me walk the plank to the kitchen at who knows what hour of the night or morning!

Which I will also add is rather dangerous.  I now take Seroquel/Quetiapine for my chronic insomnia.  It is another Atypical (ironically, it doesn’t increase my appetite or make me gain weight.)  I am happy that it is powerful enough to work (unless I’m stressed etc… and then some Valium/Diazepam for assistance.)  Regardless, combo or not, I’m knocked out.  I cannot count the number the times I have risked serious injury, trying to scrounge around for something to eat, in my neuroleptic, induced stupor.

Perhaps the final reason why this doesn’t make sense? I’ve never been like this before! Never! Lest my few months on the charming Zyprexa! And no, it’s not some “latent” side effect of the Seroquel, that is suddenly rearing its ugly head.  I’ve been on the med for too long, and it’s an established pattern.  I eat, I wake up starving; I don’t eat, I don’t wake up starving.

Well, I know I can’t stop eating forever. *laughing*  Maybe there’s some way to…  I don’t know.  I’m stumped.  You’ve got me, tummy!

I’ve always been really in tune with my body in terms of my health.  Here? Whoa.


  1. Huh.

    It is, indeed, a conundrum. I’m tempted to say I wish I had that problem but, truthfully, I do not. Even despite the excess weight I carry around.

    I know this may seem like a very ordinary and simplistic solution but…what if you eat and then have a snack ready by your bedside table (properly wrapped or kept on a plastic container) in case you get hungry in the night..? In that case, you wouldn’t risk possible injury by getting up in the middle of the night to look for food. I dunno, like I said, it may sound st00pid but, I’d probably do it.

    It’s funny (being overweight…) but I have never really eaten between meals. I do eat chocolate but normally it’s just a small piece at the end of the day, especially if I can’t sleep since chocolate makes me sleepy. But other than that, I don’t know what it is to crave anything. (Well, maybe sex but that…that is another topic for another post…)

    Anyway, I hope you do eat and somehow find a middle ground with Mr. Tummy there.


  2. Hi Maria. No, no. That’s not a bad idea at all. I actually was thinking of that after I wrote this post.

    I used to crave chocolate like crazy years ago, but something odd happened some time in my 20s. I developed a slight allergy or sensitivity to it. Whenever I’d eat it, I’d get canker sores (or what I have now learned are also called aphthous ulcers) in my mouth! Surely nothing to die from, but definitely unpleasant!

    So, I stopped eating chocolate for several years until that cleared up. Afterward, no huge cravings for chocolate anymore!

    I also forgot to mention that this is (or can be) the ultimate insult to injury, as I have GERD. Not a good idea to eat something in the middle of the night.

    I end up choking on all the acid in my stomach as it regurgitates up through my esophagus (and sometimes almost the back of my mouth!) Loads of fun. Then, I have to go running back to kitchen to try and douse the fire by gulping down copious amounts of milk as fast as possible!

    I think what I’m going to do is try and follow my dietician’s strict orders as best I can. Really work on increasing my food intake, and not just through regular meals. I need to snack on small things throughout the day. That was her entire point, and no surprise to me! I knew she was going to say that! She didn’t have a problem with anything I eat. My food choices are fine. Maybe I’ll keep a diary, too.

    Craving sex. You’re funny. Well, I crave that as well. I just have to satisfy that craving myself? *laughing* Soon, you’ll be able to satisfy that with your girl, though, and that’s great. Yay for you!


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