I think generally people tend to say: “The last 24 hours have been hell!” Nope. I can shrink that down quite a bit. Three Hours.
Friday, October 08, 2010:
Call from friend R. that his father will die at any moment. I am crossing my fingers he is at least getting decent palliative care!
Meeting with friend J. He never told me due to his pride issues, but as soon as I sit down beside him, he states some rather distressing news. He is being evicted and will be homeless as of tomorrow. Let me reiterate that one point again: I had no clue.
He also mentioned that a friend of his (I know him also) had recently found a job. He has been laid off forever like us. He held the job for maybe two months. Only then to be let go, under the most ridiculous of circumstances.
Compared to all of this, my life looks like heaven!
Speaking of, there may be some parting of the skies for me prior to all of this happening. I just haven’t had a chance to write about it!
The biggest thing to tackle, of course, was J. He’s done this before. Held back some big whammy until he explodes all over, and I’m left covered in pieces of him, head to toe. I can only try my best to reassemble some vague likeness of him, that hopefully is able to walk and talk, as well.
The whole “three hours” did last longer, really. Oh, they went far into the evening and the night. While out with J. I became non-verbal twice. TWICE! Uh, yeah. A bit of overload for wee, Aspie PA with everything? I couldn’t get a pen and paper. I didn’t have anything with me. Why? We were just going to have a bite to eat! I didn’t anticipate another bomb on my head! And even if I knew that bomb was coming, I still wouldn’t have anticipated my brain to turn into its own little version of a non-verbal, mushroom cloud!
I felt like I was drowning. If I went non-verbal under less stressful circumstances, I wouldn’t have been bothered so much. Maybe I wouldn’t have cared at all. In fact, the majority of times I don’t give a flying twig about going non-verbal! That is definitely true. But twice in one night with all the… *sighs*
So, uh…huh. When I woke up it was a second “I don’t want to get out of bed all day” days. P. even called yesterday to go out. Oh, dear. Let’s see how someone else is doing! Please, no more catastrophes!
He said what a lot of you might be thinking right now: ‘…PA, you have to put yourself first…you have to take care of yourself…you’re what really matters the most…’
Alright, toss aside the fact that I have severe problems doing that, anyway. I’ve never been able to do it! However, let’s also look at what’s going on in these people’s lives. I never abandon anyone I care about, but Jumpin’ Jehosaphat! Also, me doing what I have to do with my life, is in no way mutually exclusive from me being there and helping those I love. The two being incompatible makes absolutely no sense to me!
I have to call R. today to check in, as well. I need to proof the poem I wrote for him and his family yesterday, after immediately hearing the news about his father. Channel emotions into writing if you can! I’m sure he brought his laptop home, so I can email it to him. If not, I’ll give it to him in person.
Okay. Let’s see what today brings? *looks around a bit tentatively* I knew I’d get out of bed and not lay there depressed all day, too. I just needed some extra sleep and life’s seeming a bit freaky at the moment. A lot of people are walking around with big “Handle With Care” signs stamped on their foreheads. And that’s fine. Perfectly understandable.