My friend R.’s dad died on Saturday.  I found out yesterday but couldn’t write anything here.  I could only type a few things on Twitter and a send a frantic email to someone–both with extreme typos.  When I go all out of my mind, and get all upset like I’m going to shoot like a rocket through the sky, I tend to make a lot of typos.

Speaking more like a rocket shooting through the sky, I don’t even know how to get there for the arrangements quite right by transit.  They live on the border of one end of the city.

Speaking more like a rocket shooting through the sky…

I’m still going a bit mental.  I won’t even go into the dreams I was having last night/this morning.  Dreams, nightmares…I don’t even know what the hell you’d call them!

Anyway, what I wanted to say was because of all this (the death most specifically) plus all of the other insanity, I will either take a break, or be posting like I’m that rocket up there.  If that even makes sense.  Because you see, I’m not making much sense and I just woke up and am already making a post and… O.o

Therefore, I am betting I’ll be doing the “rocket thing.”  My entire brain will be pretty “rockety” over the next few days (I think.)  The visitation is on Wednesday, the Funeral on Thursday.  J. already needed me for “moral support” on Wednesday re: something he was doing.  I was bawling on the phone when I told him I couldn’t see him.  I felt so guilty and like a piece of shit.  He seemed okay but…well, maybe not?

I think I’m feeling more and more like a goddamn rocket now, with each keystroke I make.  I shouldn’t say this (jinx!) but PLEASE no seizures between now and the funeral.  I DO NOT need to be post-“ick”tal©! Also, with Wonder Cane all decorated like he is, not really suitable for any “formal events.”  I keep forgetting to get a brother for him for more conservative settings.

One good thing? I managed to calm my sorry ass down last night without the aid of pharmaceuticals! I have no clue how I managed to pull that one off.  I won’t be able to do that over the next little while, I don’t think.  Not sure.

So, in wrapping up this ugly package: All of you.  Consider yourself warned.


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