I haven’t really been blogging so much about the cast of characters here in hospital.  I did mention My Own Pet Depressed Somnambulist (who thankfully is no longer walking around and busting into my room at all hours anymore.)  I also wrote about the living hell with “Instigator immature girlhere and here.  How about some other interesting folks?

Well, our most recent arrival is AWESOME! She’s gay and from Devon! I know.  You’re now probably questioning the entire relevance of her being “gay and from Devon!” Even if you are a very long time reader, this may still fly completely over your heads.

The gay part? This goes back to hospitalization #6 where I met my friend P. (who is also gay.)  While he and I were there, there was also another gay man and a woman! It increased the gay population on our floor to a whopping 25%!!! Here, she and I only lift it to 10%.  Not so great but, hey.  You do the best you can.

Devon? Oh, dear.  This goes WAY back on my blog.  Wee PA having a huge “thing” for women with English accents! Oh, how my British, female readers would take the piss (okay I would too.)  However, I have since “broadened” my “thing” to women with “other” accents from around the world. *laughing*  Actually, I don’t think I was all that exclusive to begin with! *smirks*

Regardless, she is hilarious, quicker than lightening with wordplay, so now obviously a definite friend.  The two of us stumble around and look like a walking (stumbling?) Monty Python sketch a lot.

Also on the humour front is another girl I started calling, “Chica!” I say it really fast and almost like we’re both covert spies.  I don’t know why I started doing that.  Either way, we both have similar senses of humour.  If you think about it, we’d have to if I began addressing her that way.

We’ve had a couple of people here chugging down Methadone! I’ve never seen that during one of my stays! One younger girl was but has now been discharged.  However, another woman who’s guzzling it down her throat is still here.  She looks about 70-years-old! I’m serious! She is old! It just makes me think…someone that old taking Methadone? What the fuck???

There’s a lovely Orthodox Jewish woman who has Kosher meals brought in.  They have these nice ribbons on them.  She’s given me several and I have them hanging around my room.  So sweet.  She’s also given me some of her Kosher meal desserts! Definitely “sweet!” She’s having some ECT.

Another recent arrival is having ECT, as well.  Things proved a bit exciting regarding that last night and this morning.  I have very strong feelings about ECT.  Granted, I would never discuss them with a patient having ECT done! That would scare the shit out of them, and perhaps fry their brains more than the treatment itself!

Anyway, I am assuming it was to do with the ECT, or it may have been symptomatic of something else.  Whatever.  The end result was the same: WELCOME TO HER DELUSIONAL HEAD SPACE!

I was a nurse that was going “up north” to work.  Another patient became “me.”  That is, the woman thought the other person was wee PA.  The woman got VERY upset and yelled at another patient she was “an enabler!” I was also told later to, “Watch out for the sponge.  Don’t slip.”  Of course there was nothing on the floor.

We were in lockdown for a while this morning so she couldn’t run away.  From presumably what may have been chasing her.  Or, what she wanted to chase? They managed to get her settled somehow and she became lucid to a relative degree after lunch.

Then we have the typical rabble-rouser.  And surprisingly it’s not me (or at least this one’s just bigger than me.)  She let’s it fly no matter what.  Always shooting her mouth off.  Not anything bad, though.  Just the type of person who doesn’t give a shit and blah…blah…blah…  They’re always great.  A must have on a Psych Ward, for sure.

Save the worst for last? Not a personal worst.  An everyone worst!!! This woman…

Fine.  She is a wreck physically.  Needs a walker, leg supports, arm supports, cane, the whole deal.  Also, internally.  Chrohn’s so special diet and this and that…oh, Diabetes.  Mentally? I heard another detox situation.  She is so high maintenance.  Always whining and complaining.  Maybe even a hypochondriac, too?

She is not only driving all of us nuts but I think the nurses, to boot! She wants help with EVERYTHING!!! Even personal things that we, as patients, should not be doing!

I’ve heard her nurses say over and over again, she should be coming to them, not us.  Nope.  I can see the exasperation on their faces! I wonder how they decide who gets to take her on each shift.  Draw the short stick?

Christ, she was even bugging me for the most ridiculous crap as I’m hobbling along, dizzy, exhausted, wanting to barf, all post-“ick”tal© with Wonder Cane! I’ve managed to show her my version of an exasperated face (which is hard to do as I like to help and please everyone!) She backed off a bit.

So, I guess that’s all.  Or good enough? And don’t forget nutty ol’ me. *grins*

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  1. Just found your blog and love your sense of humor! Thanks!

    Like

  2. Hi Heather Whistler. Nice to meet you and welcome to my blog. Thank you so much for your compliment. That means a lot to me.

    I firmly believe we need excellent senses of humour to help us survive in this (insert word/s of choice) world. Most definitely.

    I try very hard not to lose mine (that would be my sense of humour, not my “whatever word/s of choice” world.) I think I do an okay job there. What do you think readers? *raises eyebrows*

    Note to readers: Don’t answer what kind of job I do regarding losing my “whatever word/s of choice” world. Please.

    Like




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