Archive for December, 2010

For now, this is all I can manage.  I want to continue with the med stuff (although I don’t even know if anyone cares, or are bored to tears at this point.)  Regardless, time to spin a new tune on MP3 of the Moment.  As I wrote above the song in the sidebar, I don’t really know how to describe these two guys and the music they create.

Well, it’s obviously instrumental (although do I have a vocal track on the CD?) I can’t remember.  Anyway, let’s just say mostly instrumental.  New Age? Oh, that term drives me bonkers, with a capital “BONK!”

World? Well, maybe.  But then, record companies, agents, producers, reviewers, etc… drill down to what types of worlds the artists come from, how they experiment with sounds from other worlds. Thus, in doing so, they are so “different” and wonderful!” They stand apart from any others like them! In fact, they are nothing short of…


Oh, for god’s sake! They’re not interplanetary (or outerplanetary) beings! They just make music!

So, have a listen.  I hope you enjoy.  I’m going to return to my status of an outerplanetary being now.


I will try to give you as much information as possible, here.  As you can probably ascertain from her last post, I have a lot on my fins right now with PA.  You see, she is having more problems with starting her Depakene than we both anticipated.  We tried contacting her Neurologist, but he will be away until next Tuesday.  These problems must be addressed now.

The only way to do that, is for me to take PA to hospital.  She does not want to go.  Despite the fact that she was thinking of going last night.  Perhaps now that she actually is, well, I will not attempt to hazard a guess what she is thinking.  Although, I feel somewhat strongly she does not want to attempt to hazard a guess what she is thinking.  That is, if she knows what she is thinking, at all.  However, I will not make any assumptions or guesses there, either.

I have helped her out by trying to get her moving, getting, slightly, better dressed and having a shower.  I said the latter might be a good idea if someone may wish to perform an EEG.  They might? One never knows.  The notion had escaped her completely.

She is very frightened.  For simply one reason alone, she is having very serious communication problems.  She is worried they will not understand.  She cannot even remember simple things such as dates.  It is more than losses of periods time.  There is far, far more, but her communication comes to a full stop regarding other issues.  She refuses to even tell me!

I will keep working away.  I will get her there, eventually.




Oh, bloody hell! I was too stupid to realize what was so stupidly obvious earlier today.  And there I was, thinking the stupid Typical Absence Status Epilepticus had somehow come back to whack me on my stupid head!

The Depakene/Valproic Acid increases my Lamictal/Lamotrigine clearance (or can) to near obscene levels! I just took my nightly dose (including both) and within minutes (I am not kidding!) WHAM! This must be the fastest med reaction in history.  I’m serious.

I’ve totally lost it.  Brain function, motor function (hello cane!)

Ah, yes.  I’m starting get a bit of a stupid rash on my stupid neck.  I was so stupid, I didn’t figure out that it was probably(?) due to loads of Lamictal/Lamotrigine just a’ coursin’ through my veins right now!

I should probably try and rest, go to bed, something? Street drugs weren’t my thing so can’t describe anything about how this feels in that way.  It sure as hell doesn’t feel like being drunk! Some sort of combination of both?

How about “Battleground Brain!” We’ve got three Anticonvulsants, fighting to capture the (worthless) territory of all that exists within my cranium! Feel free to support and cheer on your favourite contenders: Depakene, Lamictal, Topamax!

I’m going to try and rest but even semi-sedated with my Seroquel/Quetiapine, I’m edgy.  Ramped up.  My body is sure telling me I am! Time to take a Valium/Diazepam to hopefully bring me down a notch or two or three, maybe four-thousand?

Non-Arsey Neuro and I are going to have a nice chat on the telephone tomorrow.  I think I already know the answer.  See title.

I always blog about my med changes.  However, today I wasn’t going to bother.  I haven’t really been capable of much because my brain has moved far, far beyond cognitively impaired.  Maybe cognitively despaired? No.  That’s not quite right.  Cognitively disrepaired? Hmmm.  Cognitively irrepaired? Okay.

Although, I now feel rather compelled to make a post.  I have been inspired.  Because, you see, there is a certain someone out there that seems to be enjoying my cognitive irrepairment a fair bit.  Maybe more than a fair bit.  Which rather compels me to go so far as to call this person a brat! But maybe not.  I can see humour in it now.  After it taking almost 12 hours for me to get “the joke.”  HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Right.  So, what’s been happening with the Depakene/Valproic Acid.  Yesterday, after taking my first dose, my appetite shot up like a rocket, within only a few hours! I ate all night until I went to bed! I took the second pill earlier on in case the same thing happened.  It did.  Wow.  Hello, wacky Zyprexa/Olanzapine days! I was also a bit loopy but not like…

…today.  Also, bye bye appetite.  I said I haven’t been capable of much.  Forsooth.  I have spent all day in bed.  I had some tea in the morning.  Then, I had to switch over to gingerale.  My tummy told me to do it.  It also told me to take some Gravol/Dimenhydrinate.  That added to my cognitive irrepairment, but tummy overruled heady!

My head told me to take some ibuprophen as it was REALLY hurting.  Not too much success there.

What else has my day consisted of? I’ve picked up random objects at random intervals that I’ve thought might be good ways to pass the time.  I’ve done a lot of staring.  Sometimes at nothing, sometimes at actual “things.”  At least my brain has no “distance irrepairment” so I can look at things either close up or across the room.  That’s probably a good sign.

I’m not sure what else, but maybe I’m too cognitively irrepaired to remember.  That would surely make sense.  At least I can make that assumption? That’s probably another good sign.

I don’t know what I’ll do until I go to bed.  I guess more of the same.  Unless that person I mentioned up there comes around to “play” beforehand.

Message to Said Person: “I’m watching you…”

Or at least I’m TRYING! I feel like I’m playing a combination of “Blind Man’s Bluff” “Mother May I” and “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” in a Circus Fun House, with all the mirrors turned sideways!

Certainly not me! Although, maybe I’ll get lucky and receive some kind of “award.”  Like making it stop!!!

I went to see Non-Arsey Neuro yesterday.  There was no argument with my findings.  I covered a fair amount of what we discussed in that link, but in terms of presentation, history, treatment etc… I am a textbook case (and more unfortunately.)  I am an extreme textbook case.

I get sicker than most people do, it lasts longer than most people’s episodes (six days) and because of the catamenial onset? It involves both my period and when I ovulate.  Disgustingly ill for 12 days every month! It’s actually worse than when I’m “normally” post-“ick”tal© as I’m not as sick then and those events only last 72hrs.!

We played a little “Treatment Tennis” but only after I moped and pouted about what I really wanted: Midazolam/Versed.  It’s a benzodiazepine.

I was on this drug before when they had to completely sedate me for my gastroscopy and colonoscopy.  Yes, it can be used for non-invasive surgical procedures.  Are you all wondering if I was just hoping to make myself completely unconscious for those 12 days each month? No.  I wanted this uber-coolness about Midazolam!

It’s the only benzo that’s water soluble.  As a result, if given in minute forms orally or intranasally it may actually terminate status when it starts! Whoa.  Since I have an established pattern, give it a shot? “Shot” indeed.  “Shot” to hell! “Shot” was responsible for me moaping and pouting! In Canada, we only have IV or intramuscular injectable forms.

Not that Dr. PA would have a problem sticking a needle into herself on a regular basis.  It’s just that there are a couple of possible problems for both Dr. PA and Non-Arsey Neuro.  IM injections are a bit more difficult to administer than subcutaneous ones (think insulin.)  Then, there’s the issue that Dr. PA could accidentally screw up and put herself into a coma.  Dr. PA dies and then Non-Arsey Neuro loses his license to practise medicine FOREVER.

So back to the pills and the start of our game.  We met at the net to shake hands and discuss my Clobazam/Frisium.  It is a specific benzo used only for epilepsy and strongly recommended for Catamenial seizures.  I said since we’re treading into Absence seizure territory, will it be useful? Also, would it be strong enough, anyway? I’m also on Valium/Diazepam! We both agreed a truckload of benzos wouldn’t do a thing.

He lobbed the first serve of Phenytoin/Dilantin.  Oh, boy.  Very old and it may work for some but I always say, “Get out the Drool Cup!” At least I had a good response.  Again, if we’re getting into Absence seizure territory Phenytoin can exacerbate them.

My serve.  He just said to me, “What do YOU want to do?” At this point? Go for the only choice left for Absence seizures.  Or the best choice: Depakene/Depakote.  Hang on for the ride, PA!

With my Lamictal/Lamotrigine, it could increase my clearance rate from anywhere up to 26-70hrs.! Okay.  I could be getting more bang for my buck with that! Watch for Lamictal weirdness.  I could get hypothermic or end up with too much ammonia in my blood with my Topamax/Topiramate.  Alright.  If I get too whacked out, my temperature drops too low, I feel barfy or actually throw up after too long? Keep on top of it all, make adjustments if necessary.

It will also play around with the properties of my Valium.  Lower its effects.  Maybe not so good for stressy, stressy PA.  Still, maybe none of these things will happen at all.  At least to any detriment.

*sighs* I mean, it’s not like I want to add another drug to my already, huge cocktail.  Do I have a choice? I don’t need to beat this thing into submission, I need to beat it to death! Also, no guarantees but this combination is actually a good one–definitely the Lamictal and the Depakene.

When I left, he said, “Don’t drink too much!” with it being Christmas and all.  On my current cocktail? I don’t think it takes much to get wasted now! I’m not starting this change immediately but I’ll be trashed as soon as I do! And maybe not in a fun way? I don’t know.  Ah, Non-Arsey Neuro is hilarious.  I love him.

Human beings are completely rational creatures.

Human beings act in completely rational ways.

It is actually the situations and circumstances that are completely irrational; these conditions under which human beings are forced to exist and act.

It is a very difficult thing to admit that I’ve placed a small drain on the funding of our health-care system.  It was absolutely necessary, though.  It had to be done.  As soon as I saw it, it could no longer remain on hospital grounds.

I was changing my pillow cases and one that I took had some writing on it.  I was shocked! Astonished!

After I retrieved another pillow case, I carefully went over this patient’s chart.  Yes! That is what it was! I knew I had to be very delicate in doing so, for I had never seen a chart written on such material before.  I did not know its age, but as any Forensic or Anthropological Scientist should know: Handle With Care!

Unfortunately Forensics isn’t really my specialty.  Also, this branch of medicine isn’t my area of specialty, either.  If you don’t already know, I deal with Psychiatry and Neurology.  This case had to do with Urology.  Ironically, when studying, I always had a soft spot for Urology, though.  Strange.

Also, Dr. PA would never be so egregious to state she knows everything about medicine.  But truly, does any doctor? Why then would they need to appeal to all of those reference books on their shelves? Sometimes even during your appointments with them! Nonetheless, should some other medical professional stumble across this and provide further insight, that would be fantastic! Collaboration is always a good thing.

This patient had cancer.  At the time their BP reading was noted in the chart, it was 167/105.  The patient was suffering from hypertension.

A foley catheter and a nephrostomy were ordered via stent.  However, you do always have to laugh at doctor’s handwriting! It looks more like “scant” or “scent.”  But foley catheters and nephrostomies are far from rare.  And further, I don’t think any medical professional would ever want to smell them!

Also written was this:

35q 98-16 LTA
96% R/L 150

R/L 150 is as a brand of a rhinolaryngoscope.  However, the accompanying 96% to the left?

Well, all endoscopes and many other things used for medical procedures are measured in specific numbers and defined sizes.  Like ‘n’ (mm, cm) etc…  This rhinolaryngoscope’s insertion tube has a measurement of 3.5mm.  I think that is perfectly reasonable considering how it would be used.  Why?

I would like you to pause for a moment, and imagine having a 3.5cm scope shoved up your nose and down your throat.  Even 96% of that number doesn’t make much of a difference, does it?

I perish the thought that such a rhinolaryngoscope would actually be on the market.  If there were to be, I would hope that someone verified this as a possible error quite quickly before your procedure.  Now, if this was no error, I really hope your doctor/specialist/surgeon/anaesthetist knocks you out with some serious sedation.  Post-op, I hope someone, anyone would follow up with extremely strong sutures!

As per the first line, I’m not quite sure of the orders that were given (or to be given.)  You see, I’ve never administered a toxin! That is correct.  LTA is lipoteichoic acid.  It is a gram positive bacteria that stimulates mitochondrial growth of the T lymphocytes of your immune system.  It has no impact on your B lymphocytes.

This is, in fact, a treatment for cancer.  Although, how successful I do not know, either statistically overall, or for this patient.  No further entries were made on the pillow case regarding the patient’s further course of treatment, or sequelae.

Oh, dear.  I won’t even link to it.  It’s taken me hours to get through it in my obscenely, cognitively impaired state.  It’s pretty huge, anyway.  Yep.  The NCSE! That’s Non-Convulsive Status Epilepticus if you haven’t seen it on my blog.

Wow.  Neurology’s tough to figure, but oh my god.  I really want to throw up now.  And not just because of my “regular” post-“ick”tal© signs and symptoms.  From what I just read, I think I want to cry now, too.  Although, maybe it’s still good I figured it out? Maybe it can still be controlled? This massive paper that is SO on target.  Oh, holy hell.  The guy even has a syndrome named after him.  Huh?

I’m not post-“ick”tal© at all.  I mean, well, hang on.  Bear with me as apparently I’m kind of on the extreme end of things.  That’s why I get so messed up when it all happens.  I sort of knew that already, though.  It’s all been so muddled in my head (literally haha!) The NCSE is so muddled, too.

Well, I don’t think I need to bother looking at the calendar anymore.  Tracking my cycle seems pretty irrelevant, now.

Typical absence status epilepticus. It’s actually listed: Catamenial onset.  Prior to finding this, everywhere I was going earlier? Confirmed.  Seizures all over the place regarding periods, ovulation, peri-, post-…hey, anytime estrogen, progesterone and so many other hormones decide bounce around!

Back to the paper.  There’s more!

Some things may have a lesser presentation (my myoclonic leg jerking) and some that he doesn’t mention at all (my motor impairment that can get kinda crazy at times.)  Hello, Wonder Cane and his brother! Maybe really for safety so I don’t friggin’ bang into something and fall.  I get so dizzy I become a freakazoid, klutzy nightmare.  I don’t have any muscle weakness, though.  That’s the (non-)presentation.

Past history of absence seizures? Ah, who the hell knows? Nobody paid attention when I told them about my Simple partials when I was six-years-old! Maybe I had absence seizures, too!

It can also start when I wake up.  Check! Other seizures have occurred prior in life.  Check! Idiopathic generalized epilepsy.  Oh, sure.  Check! I don’t think anyone knows what to call it anymore!

So.  The Boo Hoo News? Well, apart from it totally sucking, how do we deal with this beast?

HRT has been suggested by other people in the epilepsy world for catamenial seizures but please! They found out pretty quickly that monkeying around with hormones just made things worse! Uh, yeah.

Let’s head back to proper treatment of epilepsy.  I was heading in the direction of my Clobazam/Frisium which is good for catamenial stuff, but maybe not if now we’ve drilled down to absence seizures? Still, maybe worth a shot.  A biggie for absence seizures is good ol’ Depakote/Sodium Valproate.  This is a Good News/Bad News/Who Knows What News.  Also, another damn med?

Good News: It might work nicely with my Lamictal/Lamotrigine.  Depakote takes Lamictal and shoots it to the moon (and eventually) back.  Check this.  My Lamictal elimination half life would go from 26hrs to 70hrs! But a baby dose of the Depakote? Because the Lamictal has shut down basically everything! It’s just this damn NCSE!

Bad News/Who Knows What News: Depakote and my Topamax/Topiramate! I could get into some funky hypothermia, hyperammonemia (too much ammonia in my blood) uh…okay.  Again, baby dose? Depakote can be a pain in the arse, anyway, as sometimes you may need blood draws.  Still, baby dose?

Keppra? Oh, enough.  And yes, I called Non-Arsey Neuro.  Appt. booked.

Which apparently I am not doing so successfully.  I took a Valium earlier.  Pfft.  Then I took some Gravol.  Self-medication, anyone? Well, trust me.  After the last 72hrs, you’d be doping your own heads up with anything you could get your grubby (or clean) little hands on!

It is truth and not rumour, that I have been discharged from the Funny Farm.  That was on Tuesday.  However, things have been far from relaxing and peaceful.  Quite the opposite! To the nth degree of opposite, if we could have degrees of opposites! I will refrain from boring you with that minutiae, however.  I will only continue to bore you with this post.

Sometimes you just gotta crash.  So, there I was, laying in my bed, thinking: ‘What can I do to make myself happy?’

Alright.  First, am I unhappy? *pauses*  I don’t know.  I could be.  In fact, I could be a lot of things, but I can’t tell.  The only thing I can tell, is that I’m bloody exhausted! I think I can probably tell that’s why I can’t tell how I feel. *nods*

But forget me being too tired to know what’s going on.  Let’s say I did.  Let’s say you did.  Fine.  We’re all laying about, going crashy-crashy for whatever reason.  Feeling in whatever state we feel.  Why then, is that eternal question asked? “What can I do to make myself happy?”

I’ve got a good answer.  NOTHING.  I’m serious! What is wrong with going crashy-crashy and feeling whatever the hell it is your feeling? Even if it totally sucks? Why do we have to be both “Happiness Dealers” standing on seedy street corners, waiting for the other half of us, the “Happiness Junkies.”

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not “selling” or “pushing” the idea that we all mope around, or start throwing fits, or whatever suits your particular feeling.  There are just times when I think we don’t deal with them so well.  We avoid them too often when they need to be acknowledged.  Especially when it gets ugly for us.  When it hurts, when it’s scary, so many other things like that.

It may take practise.  A lot of it.  No doubt.  We may need to try and kick our “Happy Habits.”  We may also need to try and learn not to let things get too out of hand, as well.  Either way, learning to just sit–even for a brief period–with our feelings is worth it.  You’ll reap the reward in the long run.