Which apparently I am not doing so successfully.  I took a Valium earlier.  Pfft.  Then I took some Gravol.  Self-medication, anyone? Well, trust me.  After the last 72hrs, you’d be doping your own heads up with anything you could get your grubby (or clean) little hands on!

It is truth and not rumour, that I have been discharged from the Funny Farm.  That was on Tuesday.  However, things have been far from relaxing and peaceful.  Quite the opposite! To the nth degree of opposite, if we could have degrees of opposites! I will refrain from boring you with that minutiae, however.  I will only continue to bore you with this post.

Sometimes you just gotta crash.  So, there I was, laying in my bed, thinking: ‘What can I do to make myself happy?’

Alright.  First, am I unhappy? *pauses*  I don’t know.  I could be.  In fact, I could be a lot of things, but I can’t tell.  The only thing I can tell, is that I’m bloody exhausted! I think I can probably tell that’s why I can’t tell how I feel. *nods*

But forget me being too tired to know what’s going on.  Let’s say I did.  Let’s say you did.  Fine.  We’re all laying about, going crashy-crashy for whatever reason.  Feeling in whatever state we feel.  Why then, is that eternal question asked? “What can I do to make myself happy?”

I’ve got a good answer.  NOTHING.  I’m serious! What is wrong with going crashy-crashy and feeling whatever the hell it is your feeling? Even if it totally sucks? Why do we have to be both “Happiness Dealers” standing on seedy street corners, waiting for the other half of us, the “Happiness Junkies.”

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not “selling” or “pushing” the idea that we all mope around, or start throwing fits, or whatever suits your particular feeling.  There are just times when I think we don’t deal with them so well.  We avoid them too often when they need to be acknowledged.  Especially when it gets ugly for us.  When it hurts, when it’s scary, so many other things like that.

It may take practise.  A lot of it.  No doubt.  We may need to try and kick our “Happy Habits.”  We may also need to try and learn not to let things get too out of hand, as well.  Either way, learning to just sit–even for a brief period–with our feelings is worth it.  You’ll reap the reward in the long run.

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