Well, I don’t always ask.  No go.

I REALLY want to go to hospital right now.  And I NEVER want to go to hospital.  It’s been eight times now and I know the drill.  Same old, same old.

But this place? *shakes head*

Would’a been good.

I wanna go to hospital but I can’t.  I have no money and I need to find a place to live so fast.  I hate even making this post.

I’m sorry.  I already made such of an ass of myself tonight.

I need help but I can’t get it.  I hate myself.  My life.  I said I’d accept everything.  No matter what it was.  But I can’t move.  Like physically.

I called that place but nothing else so Emergency Services and that is hospital.

I am sick and I do want to die.  Yes, moods telling me.  But if I am so sick and I want to die so much I need help.


  1. spectrumdweller

    If I had a place to live, I would totally let you crash in my spare room. Unfortunately… very sorry.


  2. Everyone, please send PA your thoughts/prayers.

    She attempted suicide early this morning and is now in the ICU on a ventilator. Hasn’t woken up yet but the nurse said she’s stable. They’re waiting for whatever she took to clear her system.

    She is alive but like I said, she hasn’t woken up yet. If anyone wants updates I’ll post via Twitter (@CatatonicKid)


  3. Butterflywings

    O god, I’m so sorry. Of course I will check on Twitter, and send positive thoughts to PA. When you’re well enough to read this PA, I’m so sorry you felt so bad, and hope you recover quickly.


  4. I hope PA has awoken and is doing as well as possible. I only read this today – I’m really sorry for not checking on this blog regularly -, but I’ll keep PA in my thoughts.


  5. Hi spectrumdweller. Thanks. I know you would for sure.

    Hi CatatonicKid. Thank you so much for everything. Being with me every step of the way no matter where I was and what shape I was in. Thank you doesn’t even cover it, really. xo

    Hi Butterflywings. Thank you for your well wishes and positive thoughts, as well. You are a very kind person.

    Hi Astrid. Oh, don’t worry about checking my blog all the time. It’s mostly rubbish, anyway. But thank you as well for keeping me in your thoughts, too.


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