Archive for March 14th, 2011

Okay, so I avoided any kind of particular Aspie meltdown last night, as per the stupid time change screwing me up! Avoiding meltdowns is always a very good thing.  I haven’t spoken to anyone today (I live in a variable form of a hermetic seal) therefore I do not know my verbal communication abilities yet.  Due to all of this hermetic seal business, when I know I will probably have to talk at some point, I give myself a test run.  I can read your thoughts.  You’re all thinking this sounds pretty ridiculous.  Well, you’re right.  Literally, too.

Oh, dear god! Sometimes what a bumbling fool people would think me to be, after only a few seconds! Or completely inebriated.  Or totally, mentally challenged (well, they’d be spot on with that guess!)

ASIDE: Why does it now seem like I can hear the upstairs tenant’s mobile phone on vibrate? She lives upstairs?! It’s not mine as it’s sitting right beside me! Now I can hear her talking.  The time change has given me Super Hero Hearing Power!

Anyway…  Continuing on with my personal sound check? “Test, test, test…one, one, two…”  Believe me.  That would make me sound like an ace.

Other times? It would be like I was hearing my own voice for the first time ever, and had no clue what to do with it.  Then, there’s my stutter that comes out under various circumstances.  Loads and loads of repetitive “ah’s” and “erm’s.”  “Uh’s” and “whu’s.”  Probably even more, very small, yet still quiet, “grunty” sorts of sounds.

Oh, yes! Now how could we forget the long pauses! I just did a second check while writing this.  Amidst uttering arguable sentences, some pauses between words lasted two seconds at their longest point.  That may be hard to comprehend but I want you all to start talking now, while looking at your wristwatches or a clock.  Speak while deliberately making two second pauses between your words, every once in a while.  Hey, toss in a bunch of the “ah’s” “erm’s” whatever!

Maybe I won’t have to talk to anyone today, but I suspect that will not be the case.  “Ah…erm…whate…v…v…v…ver.”