Of Bombshells, Chickens and Eggs
I just got off the phone with my mother. Yes, the one who I owe great thanks to for at least my Bipolar, and god knows what else. Ah, I owe her thanks, as well, for being progeny of all the others. I owe thanks to them as well–for at least my Bipolar and everything else.
My, my! We are getting to be quite the two pals, these days! Nothing like trying to take your own life to bring you closer to your own mentally ill mommy. I know. That’s not funny, but it’s fact.
The bombshell? Oh, it was nothing much she said, as we shifted the conversation from my groceries. Did I still need sour cream? What type of Miss Vicki’s Potato Chips would I prefer?
She was sexually abused by her pediatrician when she was a tiny girl.
I was pretty quiet about it on the phone. I think that might be understandable? I mean, what the fuck do you say to one of your Parental Units that has traumatized the hell out of you, when they tell you of their own trauma?
It’s not so much in the details (which she told me all about), either. I can handle hearing intimate details from any person regarding what they went through.
But this is all a bit much. Like Roller Coaster, Twisty-Tangly, Family Traumarama! I can’t really think too much about this at the moment, yet my brain is already in the line up at the amusement park! Oh, yes! I think as soon as she started to tell me, it was already racing all over, trying to recover any shred of my childhood from my near empty databank.
Speaking of brains, there actually is a bit of limited processing power for this information, right now. I can’t be sure but I think something is happening with the Typical Absence Status Epilepticus and my TBI. Chicken? Egg?
I seem to be healing along well as far as the TBI goes. However, there’s a bit of stuff going on. Some of it looks like the old TBI issues, some of it looks like the TASE, some are the same. Extended absense seizures messing with a brain that’s not quite healed? I felt fine yesterday.
Kind of like all of that trauma up there.