Most people who have been hanging around my blog (and definitely Twitter!) know that I have been talking about finding an apartment, the state of my life in that perspective, how afraid I am regarding where I’m going to live, what the hell is going to happen, just all of it.

I must find something by the end of the month.  The original landlords I went with screwed me over.  I gave notice and they dropped me.  And I hasten to add, without much (if any), “notice!” I’m still awaiting them to call me back!

I need my Social Worker to help me get “un-screwed.”  She just returned from being gone for the month of March, so she knows nothing of this! I should give her a call even though I know she’ll be swamped.  It’s just that now, I’m really desperate!

I know you’ve been reading along and thinking, ‘What the hell does all of this have to do with accountability?’ What did I say up there? It’s just that now, I’m really desperate!

I can’t count the number of times I have said that since I’ve been laid off/made redundant.  Let me get the exact date.  I realized last night that it was one day this week.  Right.  April 7th, 2008.  Happy Anniversary! I can’t believe it.  Three years, minus two days! That long? It’s just that now, I’m really desperate!

The above is true.  Back to counting days, excluding today, I now have 26 of them to find a place to live.  26? It’s just that now, now, now, I’m really desperate!

Accountability.  Maybe it takes things to reach such a point where only you can fathom (or not), where you actually DO say the phrase, (as ridiculous as it may sound), “You never realize how much you miss something until it’s gone.”  In fact, you’re not saying that phrase; you’re living it!

How many times was I not accountable over these last three years? Probably more than I know.  Probably more than I care to admit!

This post isn’t meant to lay any kind of trip on myself.  It’s not meant to lay any kind of trip on anyone.  There were plenty of times when I worked hard over these past three years, and was accountable.  There were plenty of times when I was too sick to work, but there were plenty of times when I just pissed around.

You may have found yourself in this situation with your own lives and your own issues–whatever they may be.  I do not know.  Perhaps you have not found yourself in this situation.

“You never realize how much you miss something until it’s gone.

I may have gotten really lucky in the midst of reaching this, fathomable or not, point.  After arriving here, I’ve been trying to be as “accountable,” as possible.  I’ve also been fighting like crazy not to lose such a privilege of living in my neighbourhood (“You never realize how much you miss something until it’s gone.)

I’m seeing a flat that has become available here this Saturday.  It doesn’t have all I need, and I’ll throw out more of my stuff to get it.  If I can make it work, it’s mine.

I’m also showing up with my chequebook.  If I can make it work, I’ll offer him first and last month’s rent, right on the spot.  That may prove me somewhat “accountable” in the tenant department?

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