Archive for September, 2011
Well, I guess I mean blogroll. For now?
I can’t believe I finally finished it. It took me four hours. The other day I left off at “D.” About 28 gone? Some I had to request invites to. I was too dumb before so I understand WP now. But what on this planet do I do to contact someone who uses Blogger for an invite? Does anyone know that trick?
I need to make some other minor changes. Not right now. THEN, new additions? Oh, HELL not right now! Also, even if a blog has been dormant for a while (a very long while?) I still leave them as I feel there can be some value in what the person has written. That may change. Definitely another “not right now.”
What else have I been up to? Well, I cried a bit this morning. Huh. Okay, maybe I can think of one damn good reason for that! Seizure!!! Yep. Maybe now it’s time to toss around some bogroll.
I haven’t written anything lately about the Clobazam sitch. I have a (strong) tendency to write on, and on, and on and…regarding the regular events of me being sick. It doesn’t make for extremely enticing reading. Especially when things don’t change. Which is precisely where I sit. I seem to be at a “Drug Efficacy Impasse.”
My seizure? Right on time you could say. Check the calendar, sit, be aware of your body, and TA DA!
Don’t dare leave your seats viewers! It’s time for the next episode of “The Typical Absence Status Epilepticus Show!” Simply put, I’m ovulating right now.
I said I’d give all of this business another month. Why? Because I can’t exactly speed up my cycle. Nor would I want to! My period every week, or a few days, or something? GAH! No, WAY more than “GAH!”
So, yes. My Drug Efficacy Impasse. At least the seizures are only happening with the TASE (which is why I need this drug!!!) They’re not happening at night (as far as I can tell.) Only during the day is obviously better for keeping track. They’re not as bad as before (but I’m still having them!!!) I’m still having them when on my period too, right? Just to be clear. Plus, I’m still not sure of the overall withdrawal effects. Just to be more clear.
However, at least now my regular dose of 60mg hasn’t lost TOTAL efficacy. That was one of my most horrific fears once I started taking it again. That it wouldn’t work at all!
No, it’s still doing its job. Just not well enough. That said, sometime in October I will be knocking on Non-Arsey Neuro’s door. I’ll tell him we should increase it. By that time, we’ll be moving into five months of this crap!
By continually dragging things out, hoping for the sky to part and bestow upon me some miracle? It’s just causing me further damage psychologically and emotionally. Ridiculous.
I just tried to set up my blog on my stupid phone. Wait. They’re called smart phones. So it’s me that’s stupid. Breaking News. Ok here goes. Phone battery going maybe just like mine?
Yeah. I’m pissed off right now. The reason doesn’t matter so much. There are an infinite number of reasons why people can get pissed off. But, yeah. I’m pissed off.
“Hair Of The Dog” by Bauhaus
POSTSCRIPT: Now I’m pissed at WordPress as it won’t let me set up MP3 of the Moment properly (sorry about that but the song streams.) Now I’m getting pissed at a part of my sick body.
Now…(much later now) I’m not exactly pissed. Just in another mindset. *sighs* At least all of this shit is done. It’s taken me what? Two hours to stream a fucking MP3??? Fer Chrissake!
No, I’m not all prepped for surgery. Neither in Cuba, no less. I’ve got a little bit of a problem for my second IV anemia infusion tomorrow. I had a similar problem last time. It was just a pesky virus that I’d hoped would be gone by the date, but nope. It was gone the next day. Nonetheless, since I was still a wee bit sick, I suggested they should mask me.
There’s a reason I need to take precautions on the floor. I’ll get into all of that, as I found out another cause due to what my infusions involve. So that’s why I was completely up front about them masking me in the first place. A hint is that I’ve worked in a Hospice. Also, my infusions take at least an hour and a half. I’m hanging around a long time. A lot of traffic?
What’s my problem now? I fear a lot worse than a “pesky virus.”
I ordered some take away and for dessert, they gave me some sort of food-borne pathogen. Charming. Of course I am still quite ill, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this.
“They” say “most people” recover from such lovely incidents within 12-48hrs. Well, certainly I wouldn’t fall into “that” section of the population. I ingested my toxic meal on Friday night.
As awful as it is when you get this sick, I do find the following scenario absolutely hilarious. I think a lot of us have been here?
You’re sitting on the shitter (quite literally at point in time) with your stomach heaving and churning. Then, you start to feel something creeping up…and up…and…! OH NO! Are there any other “receptacles” nearby? A bathtub? A sink? If not, SHIT! I didn’t grab a bucket (or maybe didn’t have time.)
Luckily, my bathtub is right beside my toilet. If not, I would have repainted my entire bathroom in a latex paint that has not yet been invented. The name of it would be: “Incandescent Vegetarian Pizza.” All of this was going on sometime in the wee hours of “Who Knows When.” All I know is that I woke up, thought I was giving birth to Satan’s child, and it was still dark out.
Now why do I have to (and want to!) be so completely, extra cautious when carrying some Infectious UFO in my body? The floor where I have my infusions done is, I believe, also a chemotherapy floor. A lot of the equipment is labelled as such, and judging from some other patients I’ve seen, it seems likely. Also, I was surprised to read about what they are shooting me up with (no it’s not someone’s iron rich blood!)
It’s called Venofer. To try and keep the med geekiness simple, it’s a liquid form of iron and/in sucrose. They are bound together and when in my body, the iron hits certain precursor cells. Then they go on to do stuff–like hit cells that will go on to zone in on my hemoglobin. But what is also interesting about Venofer is that it’s not just used for people who are only anemic. It’s actual use is for people who are anemic due to chronic kidney disease! I don’t have CKD!
Therefore, another reason to be careful tomorrow. Who else is on that floor receiving treatment for other conditions? So I’m going full on. Mask and gloves. Especially since I don’t even know what I have!
What complicates things more is I’m still dealing with the Clobazam withdrawal, some breakthrough seizures, and all of that nightmare. So naturally, when I’m getting nailed with anything else that makes me sick, there are only certain variables I can rely upon to figure out the differences. And most of the time, those variables are extremely minimal.
“In For Kill (Skream’s Let’s Get Ravey Remix)” by La Roux
Yes, yes. I know. How often does our blood boil when someone asks us how we are doing, and we simply answer, “I’m fine.” Well, I am here to tell you that answer is…actually, quite “fine.” I swear. Cross my fine little heart.
I’m not sure how many of you have seen this film I am about to mention. Although it may not be the most thought provoking, intellectually stimulating, or a piece of cinema to be philosophically debated for generations. Nonetheless, it does deliver an extremely potent message for us all. I am speaking of “The Italian Job” that was made in 2003 (not to be confused with the original from 1969.)
What does it impart that is such an unbelievable gem? It is only within a small piece of dialogue. About what determines “fine.”
F – FREAKED OUT
I – INSECURE
N – NEUROTIC
E – EMOTIONAL
Thus, when we do answer we are “fine” we are telling the exact truth. It really is a perfectly, reasonable response. In knowing this, I think we can all heave a collective sigh or relief and feel a great weight lifted from our shoulders.
However, I see a problem that still exists. This new knowledge is imbalanced (and I am not referring to the acronym.) It almost appears as a “secret.” A sort of “insider information” thing. We know the answer, but what about the person who posed the question (unless it was one of us.) So, it leaves only one choice. We must spread the word! We must tell everyone!
We have to paint it on billboards! Slap it on every form used for transportation! Posters on every street! Take over the Internet as daunting, and even frightening that may be!
Moreover, this must be a global commitment! We all must take part and do our share, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Not-for-profit organizations must be contacted, so please make them aware. Surely there are wealthy individuals who would be willing to offer financial support. Just pause for a moment and think of the possibilities.
I vow to lead this project, but I will need others to form an Executive Team, other individuals who have special skills and experience to serve in their areas of expertise, as well. Please contact me if you are willing to join and serve with me. We WILL make the world understand!