Well, I guess I mean blogroll.  For now?

I can’t believe I finally finished it.  It took me four hours.  The other day I left off at “D.”  About 28 gone? Some I had to request invites to.  I was too dumb before so I understand WP now.  But what on this planet do I do to contact someone who uses Blogger for an invite? Does anyone know that trick?

I need to make some other minor changes.  Not right now.  THEN, new additions? Oh, HELL not right now! Also, even if a blog has been dormant for a while (a very long while?) I still leave them as I feel there can be some value in what the person has written.  That may change.  Definitely another “not right now.”

What else have I been up to? Well, I cried a bit this morning.  Huh.  Okay, maybe I can think of one damn good reason for that! Seizure!!! Yep.  Maybe now it’s time to toss around some bogroll.

I haven’t written anything lately about the Clobazam sitch.  I have a (strong) tendency to write on, and on, and on and…regarding the regular events of me being sick.  It doesn’t make for extremely enticing reading.  Especially when things don’t change.  Which is precisely where I sit.  I seem to be at a “Drug Efficacy Impasse.”

My seizure? Right on time you could say.  Check the calendar, sit, be aware of your body, and TA DA!

Don’t dare leave your seats viewers! It’s time for the next episode of “The Typical Absence Status Epilepticus Show!” Simply put, I’m ovulating right now.

I said I’d give all of this business another month.  Why? Because I can’t exactly speed up my cycle.  Nor would I want to! My period every week, or a few days, or something? GAH! No, WAY more than “GAH!”

So, yes.  My Drug Efficacy Impasse.  At least the seizures are only happening with the TASE (which is why I need this drug!!!) They’re not happening at night (as far as I can tell.)  Only during the day is obviously better for keeping track.  They’re not as bad as before (but I’m still having them!!!) I’m still having them when on my period too, right? Just to be clear.  Plus, I’m still not sure of the overall withdrawal effects.  Just to be more clear.

However, at least now my regular dose of 60mg hasn’t lost TOTAL efficacy.  That was one of my most horrific fears once I started taking it again.  That it wouldn’t work at all!

No, it’s still doing its job.  Just not well enough.  That said, sometime in October I will be knocking on Non-Arsey Neuro’s door.  I’ll tell him we should increase it.  By that time, we’ll be moving into five months of this crap!

By continually dragging things out, hoping for the sky to part and bestow upon me some miracle? It’s just causing me further damage psychologically and emotionally.  Ridiculous.

  1. Kevin

    Hi PA, I’m just writing to inform you that I’m ganking the phrase “Drug Efficacy Impasse” from you. Yes, I will credit you when I use it, but I do need something that’s a little fresher to describe my own drug situation to my drug pusher/shrink. Though – is it an impasse if drugs have *never* worked? I’m tempted to ditch drugs altogether, self-medicating works for me somewhat, with more predictable and manageable ups and downs.

    I find it admirable how well you’re able to keep track of the details and patterns of the things going on with your health, PA. I’m sure it’s beyond frustrating having things dragged out to get the dosage right, and meanwhile suffering as you wait. But I’m guessing that the rest of us who can’t manage to do that end up having things dragged out far longer.

    Well, in any case, whether or not “impasse” is appropriate I’m stealing that phrase and putting it to good use, PA. Well, that is until I ruin it by stuttering it out the first time I try to use it.


  2. Hi Kevin. Feel free to use my phrase, and thanks for giving me the creds as well! I often use other peoples’ phrases too, and I always give credit to the original user. Well, I think I try to.

    Thank you as well for finding it “admirable” for such “obsessive” keeping of details regarding my health status. I’m not teasing you, it’s just the truth. It lends to my (Aspie) med-geek status, and also the fact that I have SO much going on mentally (and physically) due to the gastro stuff.

    I mean, everything is so complicated already, should a change take place, all hell can break loose. However, there is logic and also facets of memory involved (not just my own that fails me regularly.)

    Let’s start at the beginning. Dr. PA actually became Dr. PA when she was about 10-years-old. Alright, not that beginning. The “logic” beginning.

    Even from my first diagnosis (which was wrong) I needed to catalogue all the loads of meds I’d been on, what they did to me etc… This is part memory as well, as I needed to keep things straight for my doctor’s appts. I still have to do all of this record keeping for that, even if it is a simple appt. I have to make a list to make sure everything is covered.

    As I began to “collect” more diagnoses, all the above remained the same. But this is where the complications come into play! Definitely more logic?

    How many diagnoses do I have? All of the comorbidities? What signs and symptoms from each overlap with all of the others? How may one be impacting another? Or more than just another?

    It’s completely insane!!! For lack of a better word.

    Then a change. It could be a pretty significant one, or some sort of trigger that just “happened.” Maybe for some reason, it wouldn’t have bothered me at all under other circumstances. But it did.

    Oh.My.God. Which diagnosis gets nailed, then nails me. More than one gets nailed? EVERYTHING must be written down for all my doctors (get the files spread ’round the world to everyone!)

    A prime example of Super Insanity is me losing my Clobazam (and subsequently losing my mind and body.) Non-Arsey Neuro needs to know all the details because there are very serious consequences here.

    As far as the stuttering, I have faith in you with the phrase. Just think of ME stuttering it and not you. How’s that?


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