We have a bit of a situation on our hands, everyone.  It is a bit complicated.  It has been going for a long time and finally tonight, there has been some serious, or at least, very confusing seizure behaviour.  However, since so much time has elapsed, the events of tonight may just make things more confusing for wee PA.

She is terrified of going anywhere near her blog.  And yet, there is a huge conflict in her mind, as she knows she has people out there that she feels she must reach out to–as they are reaching out to her.  It is her duty and responsibility.  However, being terrified and then confronted with a sense of duty and responsibility does not do her well.  I will not go into further details about her health, her diagnoses. Why the prior is happening.  You might find it on her blog.  There are no secrets here.  This is just how PA operates.

She is so desperately tired of talking about her health.  She is so angry about it.  She wants to try and say more; more about anything.  That is another reason for being so afraid to blog.  Not the same things over and over.  She feels that, based upon all of it, she has lost long time friends–over and over.

I am desperately trying to get her words out on her behalf,  but it is so difficult.  She had a seizure tonight and for years, this was a sign–excessive drooling.  As far as tonight, I do not believe “excessive” is the proper word.  I think “uncontrollable” would fit better.  Her legs went as well.  Too much overload and thus, too much fear to come near her blog, even though she wants to–despite so much conflict still.

She does sometimes show up on Twitter, but it is intermittent and she knows it is also something she feels she can’t control.

Oh, dear.  I am trying so hard to make my wee PA not sound like some kind of “victim.”  A victim of her health, both body and mind, or some other kind of one, well beyond pathos.

I am still trying my utmost to take care of her.  That is all I do.  All I am meant to do.  Although tonight, the best I could do was help her keep leaning forward to let the drool from her ongoing seizures hit the restaurant floor.  She was running out of tissues.

Now I must check how much milk is in the fridge for her GERD that is like a volcano right now.  Plus, I should try and find her at least something gentle to try and eat.


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