If A TBI Gets Worse? ALWAYS Obtain Emergency Treatment!

I’ve hit my head on: brick walls, cement, wood, hard flooring with no carpeting, hard flooring with carpeting, metal armrests on chairs, windows, just regular walls, hell, as a kid I even put my head through a wall!

I’m really out of it now due to suffering a TBI a few days ago.  I beg for your patience.  Nonetheless, something happened to me unlike anything before in my life with a TBI.

Since I live alone, I have to work on “seizure prompts.”  Some are questionable (did I?)  Some are patently obvious.  Like waking up with Todd’s paresis from the neck down–COMPLETELY PARALYZED.  Patently obvious I had a tonic-clonic.  That is how I woke up on my kitchen floor.  Logically following, my head would have been banging around all over a very hard surface.

My memory is a huge disaster regarding all of this.  I say “all” because some other freaky shit happened before I had the tonic-clonic.   Maybe I seized again after after the tonic-clonic! Or…the freaky shit may have happened when I was somewhere post-“ick”tal© along the way.  But I don’t buy that.

Freaky shit.  When I’m unconscious and seizing at night, I have to wait until I wake up the next morning to survey my surroundings–and look for any freaky shit! Based upon what I saw, I think I definitely figured out what happened! A Complex Partial that led to a tonic-clonic (very common.)

I was out.  Vague memory of coming into my building, but once inside my apartment, MEMORY GONE!

I woke up and some things were “right” but some things seemed WRONG!

I had done all the regular things from coming inside, putting my keys where they go, taking off my hat and putting it where it goes, ditto my boots…  I think you get it.  But my coat.  Its hood has a zipper.  I had removed the entire thing and thrown it on the floor. I never, ever remove it.  Automatisms.  For your reading pleasure:

Automatisms may occur in the setting of complex-partial seizures. Typical simple movements include lip smacking, chewing, or finger rubbing. More complex automatisms include walking, running, undressing, and speaking. Emotional expressions, such as laughing or crying, may also occur as automatisms. Automatisms may occur during seizures or as post-ictal phenomena. Speech automatisms tend to lateralize to the left hemisphere but lateralization is not predictable for other automatisms (Rasonyi, Fogarasi, Kelemen, Janszky, & Halasz, 2006). Responsiveness is usually lost when automatisms occur during seizures.

I’ve done several automatisms.  However, I’ve never gone so far as to strip down!!! Because there were clothes in places where they shouldn’t have been.  Like my underwear at the front door!!! I also woke up with just my T-shirt on.  Apart from my head, I’ve injured my tail bone somewhat.  My clothes would have protected my tail bone!!!

I’m way off topic from my TBI here, but I felt it important to let you know how crazy it was for me to get it in the first place.  Moreover, because it was so crazy, consequences occurred as a result.  All the above was pretty complicated.

When I woke up, I thought, ‘Ah wonderful.  Yet another damn bonk to my bean!’ I had a headache, of course.  But later in the day, it exploded.  I thought my ENTIRE HEAD was going to explode.  It was kind of like this…  Which is actually quite dangerous if you experience one after a TBI.  In case you don’t click on the link, I’ll just mention bleeding brains to keep it simple.

Later into the evening, more things became worse.  Altered states of consciousness.  I was losing mental function FAST! Then my gross motor skills were shot! I was risking falls when walking and DID fall several times when the paramedics came.

I was strapped to the Ambulance gurney as it was Seizure Central. If you can believe it, I had a “not too bad” Simple partial in Triage while they were charting me and making my band! Oh, my legs a’ kickin’, my eyes rollin’ an’ blinkin’, all’s black ‘cuz I go blind! This is a typical type for me.  I always “go blind.”

I normally would have ignored this.  Just another bonk to my bean, right? But when things took a turn for the worst, I still had that option.  I could have told myself to just try and sleep, you’re sick, everything will be fine tomorrow…

I wanted to.  I did.  But my body was telling me I HAD to get medical attention immediately.  YOU CANNOT FUCK AROUND WITH A TBI WHEN IT’S GETTING WORSE, AND MAKING YOU SICKER!!!

My CT Scan was clear.  No bleeds.  No skull fractures.  Maybe I just got lucky.

I’m still disgustingly ill from everything today.  I ache from head to toe.  I tried to use two canes but I don’t have the upper body strength to do it.  But as sick as am, I don’t care! I’ll suffer as much as I have to if it means, “I got lucky.”

I also wanted to get this post up, which has required a lot of mental strength.  People were worried, didn’t know what was going on.  I was placed into the Resuscitation Area from seizing so much.  I had to be all hooked up to constantly monitor my vitals, I had IVs running for meds and blood draws.  I couldn’t use of my mobile to contact anyone.

I’d also like to dedicate this post to my good friend, and fellow TBI survivor Broken Brain – Brilliant Mind. I love ya, buddy.


  1. Sid

    I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to go through something like that and I’m sorry it’s something you have to continually deal with. This is probably a dumb question, but I’m wondering if you’ve ever considered getting a service dog to warn you when a seizure is about to happen so you can try to get to a bed or other soft surface.


  2. Hi Sid. Sorry for the delay. I hope you’ll come back and read my response since you asked me a direct question. I always answer to the best of my ability when readers ask me something. You should know that!

    Also, it’s SO good to see you!!! I hope you’re doing okay? Alright? Even better than those?

    Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me.

    It’s funny though. Since it’s been going on for almost two years now, when things aren’t so bad, I feel like I’m just getting used to it. However, when things do get bad? Different story.

    It’s all to do with the loss of the drug and the Typical Absence Status Epilepticus. All of my seizures were under control before.

    Now I’m ruminating a lot because the first step in trying to get me sorted now is a VEEG. 24 hours of electrodes strapped to me and video monitoring. I don’t care. I’m desperate and I was going to do this before for something else years ago. The only problem is, there’s a six to eight month waiting list.

    Fuck me.

    And THAT’s just the first step. Who knows what the guy will want to do next.

    One thing is for sure. I am going to be SCREAMING to be a part of this every step of the way! I know all the consequences, the only two ACs (and another funky med) that can be used if he wants to try meds as a “second step.” I don’t want to do that!

    A seizure dog? Or cat? They exist too and your question is not dumb at all!

    The only problem with that is, my problem is a predictable “syndrome.” It has a pattern to it. It is “catamenial” so that means it has to do with my period. I also get affected when I ovulate too! YAY ME!!!

    However, what I really want? VNS!!! I am going to fight so hard for it. VNS is Vagus Nerve Stimulation. I think it would be perfect.

    It has a pattern, I have a pattern! It sends little electrical charges to your brain every few minutes or so. Well, shit! I’m seizing away with Non-convulsive seizures you can’t see! Let’s try and turn down the volume there!

    Moreover, I have gotten sicker so now I am having convulsive seizures!

    The VNS implant comes with a little, magnetic wand. If you feel a seizure coming on (and I do very often!) you wave it over the implant. It’s implanted in your upper chest area, just below your clavicle.

    When you use the wand, it may not stop the seizure altogether but it can certainly lessen them.

    VNS doesn’t work for everyone but per the above, I think I’m worth the surgery and giving it a shot. It certainly couldn’t hurt???

    AH! One more thing I read but not “scientifically proven” yet. It can help for moods.

    All of this DRASTICALLY affects my moods and psychological states. I’m going to pull those two cards out of the deck too!


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