I’m composing an email to my mother right now.  We haven’t spoken in months.

She might be feeling guilty as she never called me on my birthday in March–so she feels she can’t talk to me at all.  Well, gotta fix that up.  Because I don’t give a bad goddamn fuck about my birthday! So, if this is the ONLY year in my life when it slipped by? Pfft.

She also needs to know I’m sick.  How much I don’t know, possibly getting worse, being shipped off to a Urologist/Nephrologist (from now on I’m just going to use Nephrologist.)  That I don’t know.  I do know I’ll have to make up a new Category: Nephrology.

I haven’t gotten the third round of tests back–C&S (Culture and Sensitivity.)  That’s an uber-drill down for microbial action.  All my fevers, perhaps? Hang on to your thermometers there.  The Ultrasounds? I don’t know those results either.

I should probably make a Serious Med Geek clarification about my first test re: the Creatinine.  I had bloods AND urine done.  This was no doubt the tip off as Creatinine is normally found in urine! I was so totally-out-of-it-sick to explain the problem!

What any decent physician should do, is quickly and easily look at both the Creatine in the urine and the blood.  Compare and contrast the levels in both the urine and the plasma.  This gives you a pretty good idea of the Kidney’s Glomerular Filtration Rate (GFR.)  Mine apparently fell out of range.

Fevers.  I think I should remove “You Give Me Fever” (in whatever form) from my iTunes Collection permanently.

Last night took me over the edge.

They’ve all been lasting since May 10.  Around 102°F to maybe a degree higher.  Ibuprophen does nothing except maybe down a notch for a few hours.  And they DO make me delirious! In one simple way, I can feel like I’ve been shot up with loads of morphine!

10 days now.  Last night.  This is like a bad re-run of going into Isolation last August from what began as “a simple cough.”  At least now I know what the hell’s going on.

Last night I FELT like I was in hell! My fever was so high I couldn’t even get a reading! At least 105°F as I can get that.  I tried my underarm (like you do with a baby.)  FUCK!!! STILL NOTHING!!!

This is dangerous.  You could die.  Along with everything else? IBUPROPHEN! 10,000mg! STAT!

I kept drifting in and out of sleep (better not have been consciousness!) but I thought I was awake the whole time.  Finally, after a while, a reading: 104°F under my arm! Later, 103°F under my arm! Oh, thank god.

I’m still on fire but extreme, medical emergency averted for now. For now?

Holiday here today but keep sending massive emails to Sweetie GP. Will call tomorrow.  My follow up appt. is not for a couple of weeks and I’ve heard nothing. On vacation? Her back up back up is lovely so hopefully she’ll take the driver’s seat? Maybe I really should be in hospital!

EXTREMELY PATHETIC CODA: While I was studying and dreaming away about medicine, gee, what would be my Specialty? Well, Neurology! Duh.  But for some reason, I went mad over Kidneys! I have no idea why, but I thought Kidneys were SO cool! Now? Bad Karma?

I’m too tired to email my mom now.  How on earth did I even write this?


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