Archive for June, 2013

PRERAMBLE: This is extremely important for all of you to know.  I am not prerambly precluding anyone else who may have any other diagnoses or any NTs.  I have just found this more common amongst Aspies and/or other people on the Spectrum.

WARNING: This post contains extreme profanity.  I know.  That just makes you want to read it even more.

When we communicate? WE CAN REALLY LET IT FLY!!! We can say whatever we think, whatever we don’t think, be as totally out there, unpredictable, ridiculous, serious, who the hell knows–but it’s as we want it.  And the best part of it is? WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT.

Now, there might be a few awkward moments where confusion sets in.  Messing up of social cues a wee bit? Was that okay? Did that upset you? BAH! Since we’re so damn blunt in the first place, easily remedied.  Some sample answers to: “Does this person now hate me forever because <insert specific action>???”


“Really? I didn’t even notice.  That’s fine.”

“Uh, well…maybe.  But now that I think of it, it’s actually really nice!”

“Are you serious? That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in my entire life!”

Think about it.  No censorship (alright, maybe the tiniest bit) and blah, blah, blah…

Nothing’s really “off topic.”  That’s because we all seem to get everyone’s blah, blah, blah…anyway! It’s like everyone has these funky, “Tinfoil Hats” (that we redesign to our own personal liking, of course) that are completely interwoven and interconnected to each other’s brains.

At least that’s the way I see it.  Or hear it.  When I communicate to other Aspies and people on the Spectrum.

Pure “Communication Heaven!” Although, “Heaven” might not fit as it’s got to do with “God” and all that stuff.  With some of my blah, blah, blah…with people? Hmmm.  Maybe we should leave a blank for everyone to choose their own preferred “emotional state.”

For me? I might go as far as “Communication Ecstasy!” That’s because I have the “Almighty Nothing Is TMI Factor!”

Forsooth to the power of ∞! And just to explain? That is not an emoticon of…you know, someone wearing glasses? If you don’t know what it is, leave a comment.  I’m a bit slow with my blog these days but I promise it won’t take me to ∞ to respond. *fights back severe groan*

Yes.  TMI.  This is the ultimate form of Freedom of Expression one can have and be allowed to receive back.  TELL ME EVERYTHING!!! YEAH!!! COME ON!!! GIVE IT TO ME BABY!!!

Granted, I can still mind my P’s and Q’s.  Even though I’ve never understood what that means.  What exactly are the significance of those letters.  Maybe it’s one of those “Historical Thingies.”  Which NEVER apply to current day.

Nonetheless, to those of you cannot handle or do not wish to partake in this wonderful gift we possess? Because rest assured, we would freely share it with you.

Go FUCK YOURSELF! Because you’ll never find anyone on the planet to FUCK YOU! The first reason for that is, you’re so uptight you’ve got a wedgie SO TIGHT UP YOU, it’s amazing you can even SEE your underwear! But you know? There’s really nothing WRONG with that.  You should be ASHAMED of YOUR SHAME! So you put your underwear on backwards and gave yourself an Uber-wedgie.  We Aspies and people on the Spectrum are “World Renowned” for putting our clothes on backwards, sideways, upside down, always putting two legs through one sleeve of a T-shirt.  We don’t care! Why should you? YOUR SHAME.  IT MAKES YOU UGLIER THAN A 50 CENT WHORE USED 1,000 TIMES! YOU’RE ALL STUPID ASSHOLE BITCHES, PRICKS OR BOTH OR EITHER OR SOMETHING ELSE MEAN! You’re ALSO STUPID ABOUT THAT! You LIE! You’re HYPOCRITES! Oooh…made you jump! HAHAHAHAHA!!! You see how easily you’re offended with your “delicate sensibilities?” GROW UP YOU STUPID FUCKTARDS! If you don’t, THIS PLANET DOESN’T NEED A SINGLE DROP OF YOUR TOXIC PISS OR SPITTLE THAT ONLY STOPS ALL THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN GRASS AND FLOWERS GROWING! AND DON’T THINK YOUR ACTUALLY-HORSE-MANURE-COVERED UBER-WEDGIE UNDERWEAR CAN BE USED FOR FERTILIZER EITHER! Oh! I guess you found SOMETHING to FUCK YOU after all! SO HOW LONG WAS THE HORSE’S COCK?

Go to hell where you belong you idiots.

Ahhhh…  It sure feels good to be an Aspie and say whatever you want. *leans back in peace*


Well, then.  Looky see, looky here.

Since you’re all marching around with Private…  AH HELL! Do I even care what his name is now?

In fact, Private Pissy Pants doesn’t even DESERVE to be a Private anymore!!! WHY??? Because his BOOTS look like they’re COVERED IN DOG SHIT!!!

So, two things.  Private Pissy Pants? You are NOW stripped of your rank until I see fit to give it back to you.  Do you know what that means, PISSY PANTS??? 

It MEANS you DO NOT KNOW what it MEANS AT ALL!!! But I will be extraordinarily generous this one and only time for you.  I will give you a hint.  IT MEANS TROUBLE!!!

The second thing? You can thank Pissy Pants for this.  Every single one of you are on Latrine Duty for a month.  Since he’s covered in dog shit? YOU GET TO CLEAN UP EVERYBODY ELSE’S SHIT!!!

Ah, yes.  One more thing before I CANNOT WAIT to dismiss you and GET YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!

We just…well, it pains me to tell you this, but we’re low on supplies.  I’m sorry.  I really am.



I hate this job.  But SOMEBODY has to do it.