This was Day 3. Hoping I could stop seeing triple but actually a lot more.

Today is day 6/7 as I’m not done with the day yet.

Even though Dr. PA is not a real Dr. do not do this.  It may sound hypocritical but I do have the medical knowledge.  I’ve done this with my epilepsy meds before.  Non-Arsey Neuro is totally on board with it if I can’t get to him fast enough.  Hell, when I yanked The Evil Depakene completely, he didn’t even care and said it was exactly what I should have done!

Let’s review my med changes if you didn’t see the original post:

Current Doses:

1 100mg Topamax 3x daily
1 150mg Lamictal 2x daily

The “Hang On To Your Hats New Doses”

3 100mg Topamax 3x daily
2 150mg Lamictal 2x daily

I’ve been working on an aggressive, yet gentle taper prn, as things have been getting a bit (a bit?) insane.  Meaning, if I’m still insane and not feeling better, I’ll slowly go back down to my regular dose (or what feels right.)  I won’t yank since I’ve been blasted so quickly.  I was actually wondering if the pharmacy made a mistake!!! They have been known to make mistakes before.

So, back to my current taper.  I’ve actually been able to identify what happens (i.e. disgusting illness and whacked out shit) related to the med dose schedules and the meds themselves.  Thus, kick one of those pills out the door when the problem occurs.

For example, this has NEVER occurred in my life with a med change! My daily divided dose of the Topamax in the afternoon made me puke SO MUCH, it kept on going until my stomach realized my intestines were too firmly attached internally.  There was no possibility they could removed.  I am a total Emetophobe.  I don’t heave.  Unless it’s something REALLY, REALLY BAD!

That required a definite change (kick one of the pills out the door!) I stopped barfing the next day.  The puking required the trip to hospital seen above.  No med changes but HELP THIS GIRL!!! Rehydration (BIG Bolus of saline, then half of a smaller) Toradol (NSAID) and Gravol in a wee Bolus.  He gave me short acting Gravol too, the bastard! IV Gravol is sooooooo goooooood… *recalls happy daze of past*

There was another issue with my eyes as stated above.  The two doses of Lamictal made my eyes spin 360 degrees in their sockets within minutes, MINUTES(!) of taking the pills.  Alright, kick the morning dose of one pill out the door! I can see pretty well now. *laughing*

I spoke to Non-Arsey Neuro and he said it was fine to do all I did. If any more problems come up, keep doing it.  I said I’d stick with it all for a few days more and if everything is still ridiculous, we’ll work on it.  I would prefer a taper.  I honestly DO need these meds (at really high doses) as ridiculous as that sounds.  I don’t want to go back to the very beginning.

They are two meds, of which I can count on one hand, that can be used for the Typical Absence Status Epilepticus (and my case is extreme!)  Plus, they control my Bipolar!


I’ve also probably been Cycling since the beginning as well! It’s just nobody knew! And we’re talking BP I Cycling! I’m BP II.  It only took so long for it all to come exploding out! BP I all over the place! I won’t even tell you how much trouble I was getting into and where I was headed!

I fucked up too!  I stopped smoking! For those not in the know, some people with epilepsy MUST smoke as if it’s a drug and need a slow (or proper) taper to quit.  I kid thee not.

I found this out the hard way several months ago when I tried to quit cold turkey.  I had done that a few times in my life without incident, so hey! Let’s give it a go this time!


Quick research and ’tis true.  People with epilepsy have more nicotine receptors than you can imagine, opposed to those who are epilepsy-free.  Quitting smoking for some can lead to disastrous results! I ran out of the house, bought a pack of cigarettes, and as soon as I started smoking my brain calmed right down.

How crazy! I actually have to smoke every day! I’d like to quit, but I’m trying to stop drinking too.  Now we’ve got this business? *laughing*  But I think making these changes will help somehow.  I just have this feeling about it.

I’ll leave you with one last note as well.  Maybe a really good test, even if I’m still out of my mind? I’m in one of my Typical Absence Status Epilepticus phases now.  The cause for mine is catamenial (getting your period and for me ovulation as well–that sucks.)  I believe I should be getting my period quite soon? *laughs even more*


  1. Louna

    Hi, I found your blog on the Knifeman’s blog. I’ve been reading his blog from the beginning and saw you followed him a few years back. I don’t know if you’ve been in contact with him at all recently ? He passed away on 25th of July this year. I don’t know the circumstances surrounding his death. It’s just so damn sad. Sorry to pop up out of nowhere and be the bearer of bad news. Was just wondering if you’d had any contact with him in recent times. I wanted to email you directly, but couldn’t find a link to your private email.


  2. Louna

    Just found your email, too late though ! Sorry about not emailing it directly, Please don’t hesitate to delete my above comment. Thanks


  3. Hi Louna. Oh, thank you SO much for telling me! Thank god I learned long ago that MacBooks are “Tear Proof!”

    I’m bawling so hard I can barely type! I lost it so goddamn, fucking much I closed the tab that had my blog on it when trying to reply to you!

    Oh, jesus, bloody hell MY SWEET SHROOMY!!! Yes, that’s what I called him. I can’t keep up wiping the tears from my face and my Mac!

    No, really. It is SO, SO GOOD that you contacted me!

    I will email you later when/after I can compose myself a bit better.

    Thank you so much again,

    NOTE TO OTHER READERS: If you knew this blogger, “The Knifeman” please be informed of this information.

    If you did not, please note by my response that I certainly do not know when I will be back to my blog or Twitter. Thank you.


  4. Hi again Louna. Too much shock. We hadn’t been in contact in a very long time. We did have each other blogrolled though.

    Also, again, too much shock and stunned. I never edit my reader’s comments unless there is VERY, VERY good reason. I did edit yours for personal information about MY SHROOMY!!!



  5. Louna

    Hi, so glad you edited !! I really didn’t want this info out for all to see. I’m just a blogreader and twitter follower of his, but really liked him as a human and could identify with so much of his dark dog moments. i can imagine the shock you had and am so sorry to be the bearer of such sad news. I don’t know if you “know” anyone who knows him, I don’t, so a lot of what I told you is purely based on intuition. Have been feeling so rotten about this too :((


  6. Hi Louna. I’m across the pond but did develop a close enough relationship? You will note he didn’t have that many people on his blogroll.

    Since I was there, I can only surmise a bond of some sort of significance. It’s like, why me? Out of the entire, stupid, blogosphere from hell! WHY ME???

    And this is where I’ll stop for private emailing between the two of us.


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