Please read this post as it is an urgent, “Breaking News” update!

I mentioned that I had been passing messages back and forth to a bartender (at the bar the guy and I hang out regularly.)

This bartender is like a brother (a very older one!) a father, a total goofball like me.  He’s my bodyguard, a lifeguard, and obviously someone I can trust.

I tried to keep things cool.  He played things cool, but between us both knowing each other so well? Me constantly asking about my Croatian friend? At times, I’m sure I looked quite desperate.

The guy hasn’t come back here since the night we met.  Odd behaviour for a “regular?”

I’ve practised enough CBT on myself to know what THIS means. Or THAT means?

What do you think?

Cheers! *raises Vodka*

  1. I’m a little confused!


  2. Hi justgetthrough. Great to see you and welcome!

    What are you confused about? Tell me and I’ll try to “unconfuse” you. *grins*

    Most people are confused whenever I tell them of this business. I’ve even been confused about it!

    That said, I’ve had to do a fair bit of “unconfusing” regarding me. That “unconfusing” has consisted of this. Extremely difficult at times, with Dissociative Amnesia as well!


    1. Every thought I’ve ever had, regarding dealing with a man (even as a kid) throughout my entire lifetime.

    2. Each man I’ve slept with and how many. Difficult again with the DA but that and PTSD flashbacks can occur.

    3. How and why they had been “selected” and for what reasons?

    Then all of this “unconfusing” for me culminates in the final:

    4. Where the fuck did it all lead to, and what happened in the goddamn end!


    Don’t fear your words will upset me. No reader/commenter’s ever has, and no reader/commenter’s ever will. PAs Pad is a free and open, safe space.

    I even encourage my readers and commenters to let it all out! Just spit it, spew it, barf all over my blog if that will help them!

    Of course only if they feel comfortable doing that. *laughing*

    Take care and bring it on!


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