So, even though we’re all different, why should I not be so different? “Let not our differences separate us!” Or something like that.  Maybe someone even said that at some period throughout history.  Just with much more eloquence.

I also wonder a lot why the posts aren’t so “different” on their own. It’s like a 50/50 division has been made.  It’s either, “Christmas is going to be so Jolly and Gay (not in a sexual way, but…well…?) Then, it appears to be the exact opposite.  The other side find Christmas absolute torture! Completely abhorrent! They’d run out and start committing arson, except they’re lying in bed, too depressed to move.

I believe in both.  I don’t judge either.  I see both.  I might have even participated in both.  However, you’ll find me in the latter camp.  Christmas and I aren’t exactly good friends.  Even acquaintances, for that matter.

Sometimes I’ll know it’s going to be bad in advance.  Sometimes I actually know how really bad it will be in advance.  It’s the same with a sort of feeling like being ambivalent.  Other years, I have no idea what will happen until it just hits.

This year? Oh, fuck me! I think I knew it was going to be UTTERLY, PAINFUL AND HORRID, in the bloody summer! On top of THAT, I’ve started experiencing PTSDTraumaChristmas weeks ago!

They never did this during the last two years I’ve lived in my apartment, but they have a bunch of Christmas lights strung all across our floor’s adjoining patio.  I simply thought they were broken.  SURPRISE! 

They’ve had them on every night for I don’t know how long. Wonderful! I can’t even look out my window now! But I can’t not look out my window as I need to orient myself in terms of space, time, proximity and other physics type stuff.

Hey, I even have a little, red, flashy one in front of my apartment’s window.  Great! PTSDTraumaDiscoChristmas!

Tomorrow is Christmas Day in my part of the world (space, time, proximity hehe) and my presence is immensely requested at a party.

If I don’t show up, there will be hell to pay! It’s also going to be HUGE.  There goes the sobriety I’ve been working to control.  Well, it might make Christmas a bit more Merry!

Until the day after.  Boxing Day.  I’ll want to squeeze myself into the smallest box I can find, yet still manage to defenestrate me with perfect accuracy…

Right into the middle of the biggest snowbank I can find.

Ah, well.  And so it goes.  Make it through the week until New Year’s and it’s over!

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