Okay, fuck this bullshit.  Short Post NOW.  I spent two days with a fried Withdrawal brain to write something, maybe not such trash as this? My mobile ate it.  The WP app. online ate it.  Bite me technology.

My Blog triggers me? Being in the Online World triggers me? PA what the gadamman stupid bile is comin’ outta yer mauth and dribblin’ down yer face now!

What a load of shit! That is the craziest thing I’ve EVER said about taking a break from blogging.  This probably IS therapeutic in some way.  I’m not this ball of total madness and sickness, holed up alone merely staring at things in my apartment.  I just can’t do a lot of stuf…zzzzzzzzzz…

Perhaps a case of the DTs? They’re pretty bad this time around. One really significant sign is if your feeling paranoid.  The word “Paranoid” does not appear in my Mental Dossier.  However, how much external stuff was going on? I made the decision.  It was about me.

Can you be paranoid of yourself? About yourself? I’m not excluding DID folks; they apply in the discussion as well.  I’m just thinking of the raw, basics sort of way.

If there’s anyone out there who knows what it’s like for them to feel paranoid or have ongoing repeated episodes of paranoia, I’d like to hear from you.  Of course this is only if you feel comfortable talking about it! Also, if you want to talk but you don’t want to leave a Comment on my Blog in response here, you can definitely feel free to email me.  No secrets leave my lips so you’ll be safe.  I promise.

So CRAZY PA is back! Be forewarned though.  You’re dealing with a very sick PA.  I’m not looking for sympathy.  I’ve been an alcoholic and an addict for 20 years now.  The best thing is I’m finally going to try and get treatment.  I wish I could back in time for so many apologies, broken hearts, broken trusts and destroyed relationships.

Be Forewarned.  Seriously.  I have no idea what is going to happen here, other places where I’m online.  Also, what could not happen. Perhaps the only thing I do know is that I’ll be very slow.  You will be on earth and I will be circling the rings of Saturn.

Speaking of circling those rings,  this Detox and Withdrawal are bringing out my other diagnoses and mental lunacy to epic proportions as well.  My Asperger’s level? I’m just stimming and doing all those WEIRD Aspie things we can do all the time.  My hypervigilance? I have NO clue how high it is because yesterday felt like a Panic Attack that lasted THE.WHOLE.DAY.  

I’m not joking.  It did feel like that!!! o_O  I also don’t get Panic Attacks.  Some kind of DT-ism/Paranoia-ism?

Okay.  Gravol, Valium, Bed.  Try to rest and be calm as Therapy tomorrow.  Not like she’d care if I’m all SPAZZZYYY and I look like a zombie that’s actually living and doesn’t like to eat heads.  She’s my bloody Therapist! I just want to try and rest for me.

And cuddle up with my Bedbugs.  They make me look like I have hives.  Yay for that too.

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