When IS Rock Bottom?
Hopefully you can try and follow this Post because it will not be written so well. Brief too. Sickness. Oh, sickness.
How many times do you say you’ve hit “Rock Bottom” when you’re really just sinking further and further down the ocean. Maybe your own ocean of making. Addicts find any excuse.
This is an “excuse” though. It might be Rock Bottom. Or as close as you can get.
There was a period ago, Maybe a year or so when I developed an allergy from drinking beer. Something in it? Something to do with the way it’s processed? So I tried wine. Red of course. Gotta include those tannins!
Blech. I didn’t feel so great with that. However, it wasn’t as bad as the beer. It got to the point where, just one bottle left me so ill, I wanted to heave. Although, I am serious Emetophobe. I have to be seriously ill to barf.
And so, being an “Intelligent Alcoholic and Addict” I found the perfect drink. Unlike the others, completely different ingredients and processing etc. Vodka.
Step back to the night before last. Beer. Well, it had been a long time so I thought I’d try beer again. I figured I’d know if I’d have a reaction as I’d feel sick so fast! Nothing. Huh.
OMG. The night before last. I had baby MacBook out but no signal. So, I thought I’d just listen to music. Was already drinking beer. Felt fine. Did have some spliff (who cares?) Well, I don’t about a lot these days. It wouldn’t do this to me. If anything, simply coincidental!
I walked away from everyone and went back inside the place. I didn’t want anything more to drink (intersting statement for someone who can drink like crazy.) I didn’t want any more beer, just to go home. No more beer. I’m not feeling well?
I packed up my bag, and…
…I wake up…
…in a hospital.
In really rough shape. By the time I came to, they’d already done my labs and tests and…
I was found “With my head hanging over puking.” That’s all I know. Or was told. And that no seizures happened. Which is clearly VERY good. My meds are holding me perfectly in line.
Allergy to beer. Now an extremely, epic, possibly die, allergy. Die? Think aspirating on your own vomit if you’re lying on your back. We found a friend in uni like that and she had already thrown up. Fuck me! We got to her in time(?) because she did throw up again.
Which I do remember. Hearing the paramedics say that I was going to throw up again and saying/feeling them turn me on my side as I was on a gurney.
Wait a minute. When I was in uni. OMFG HOLY SHIT THIS WAS THE GENESIS AND IT LIED DORMANT FOR A MILLION YEARS!!!
I went out with a guy I knew from class while doing my laundry. All of this on campus and I kept putting him off as I had a lot to do. Finally, I gave in. Two bottles, see ya! Chores done, go home and do whatever. Boy did I do a “whatever.”
My housemates weren’t home but when they got there? I had puked all over the bathroom (remember I never puke!) and was in this really altered state making no sense at all. Note: my seizures were dormant )or had just stopped in neuronal activity as well. Common to stop during adolescent years as mine did. They came back in my late 20s.
Of course they were AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Called Campus Police and get me to hospital. One housemate stayed with me to make sure I was safe.
I had no clue. I thought the guy had drugged me! Nice similarity to what happened the other night. But that other nights IN SPADES.
Makes me kind of wonder what else I could be allergic to…heh…heh… Well, enough on my plate right now.
I feel incredibly toxic at the moment. Sicker than I’ve been going through Detox and Withdrawal so far! Combination of the two?
I’m not fucking going to drink today! Are you kidding me? The hospital has screwed up time a bit so it will be between 2.5-3 days today.
But beyond drinking, the allergy, Rock Bottom? How humiliating to be sitting somewhere barfing all over and you can’t really move. All the while, nobody knows the situation, the circumstances and why. Then 911 is called, you’re thrown into an ambulance, the public watching on like you’re a Circus Freak.
That’s pretty fucking bad.