It’s Never Easy
Think about it. Everything you’ve done in your life? You’ve had to work at it. For it. Sometimes your work doesn’t pay off. You don’t get what you want or where you want to be, to go. Trust me.
I’ve failed at so many things I can’t even count them. But did I “fail?” I’m starting to question that these days. Regrets or none? Bad choices or simply choices at the time? No matter how much work I put into so many things…there is no explanation at all where I didn’t get what I wanted, where I wanted to be. Just anything.
Sometimes if I didn’t have to put any work into things at all: “Hey! Mom! Dad! Look at this book! It’s amazing and you know what? When I was reading it, I found…”
But that’s not all of us. Not the Gen. Pop. We all work and strive for…? And what is the outcome? Moreover, if you don’t get it, how do you see or view those that DO get it. They did. They did. Not me. Not me.
That’s a tough one for
a lot all of us. Please. Let’s be honest here. I certainly will. I like to profess I am so High and Mighty that I profess no envy or jealousy BUT COME ON! Will any of you tell me under these circumstances you have NOT felt these emotions? Or something akin? Ever?
If so? I don’t believe you. There. Now I have also admitted I am judgmental (within this context.)
Everybody wants. Sometimes we get. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we never get (but we really do.)
Maybe everybody gets. But they don’t. Look around. Take stock. It might take you a while. It might take you your entire life! But you did something and it was easy. You just have to find out what it was, if it’s not immediately in front of your eyes.
If you see something you wanted, you got, where you ended up that was so easy? Keep digging. There were other things too.
What a Pollyanna Post, huh? No.
That’s why I always like to give some personal examples.
I never finished my BA. We all called the Degree “Bugger All” anyway because it was basically useless in securing you employment.
But I bloody well resent the fact that I didn’t do it! I dream of having my Ph.D. and wandering the Hallowed Halls of Academia (despite the fact that becoming a professor and staying one at a University is just like only have a BA.)
The whole problem with my “Degree Thing” was a battle between my Bipolar and ADD. I always say the Bipolar won, but reflecting upon the whole disaster, I think it was a tie.
I have an amazing Therapist who finishes my sentences for me. *laughing*
After a couple of years or so of being bedridden with what was looking like intractable epilepsy? My goddamn seizures have actually been sent to Hades, and I’m diving into Physio to get into Martial Arts! Aces High!
I’VE ACTUALLY SECURED GALLERY SPACE BEFORE A PHOTOGRAPHY SHOWING. Do you know how ridiculous that is for any artist? It’s totally bass-ackwards! Artists have their work ready to go and then securing space to show? AND SELL? I’d be happy if someone bought one of my photographs for a dollar.
I found a group where I can possibly get my French back. *swoons* Holy shit. If I could learn to speak French again after so many years of never using it? What a dream. Are those enough examples? I hope so.
I’m doing my laundry and I’m really tired. That’s not so easy either.