I was Tweeting that this would be the FINAL TIME.  Yes.  THE LAST TIME I would get sober.  As they say, “You can’t trust an addict?”

Well, I don’t like that phrase so much.  Just because you have an addiction doesn’t mean you can’t be trusted AT ALL.  That is sublimely ridiculous as sublimely you feel when on the high of your addiction of choice.  Maybe you can only be “untrusted” in certain ways and ONLY at certain times.

/rant (I know, that’s totally not even used anymore.)

Alright.  Some my grand idea was to post every day (if I can) what I’m going through with my Detox and Withdrawal.  Dr. PA has done this how many times?

But kids? Don’t try this at home.  Go to a proper Detox Facility.  It’s sounds hypocritical I know, but Dr. PA (even thought she is not a real doctor!) can do it safely and properly.

Tonight: I just quit drinking and not even to my normal level of alcohol intake.  I’m madly drunk.  It was half my intake.  I have smoking like a fiend.  A total chain smoker.  My “normal” smoking habits were NEVER like that! I had one cigarette left.

That sets the scene.

I’m exhausted.  I just about crashed out despite spinny head when I lied down and put my head on a pillow.  Wha?

Detox and Withdrawal makes you EXTREMELY tired.  One time I almost slept for 24 hours.  And yet, it can also give you KILLER INSOMNIA!!! One night I took my sleep meds, watched TV and then the Sunrise.  It was lovely.  I hadn’t seen the Sun poke up in its pretty colours in YEARS!

Right now I feel like I want to BARF.  Yeah.  Mega-Nausea.  Mega-DIARRHEA and/or Mega-CONSTIPATION too! Who knows? And none of it makes any sense because well…food intake can be TOTALLY DISGUSTING just at the thought of it, or you can feel completely RAVENOUS and want to eat your entire LIVING SPACE!!!

I certainly don’t want to eat right now.  Well, maybe? Oh, NO WAY! NO FOOD.

KILLER HEADACHES! I have one and no ibuprophen! Tough it out!

Am I PARANOID yet? I don’t know what Paranoia feels like.  But sometimes I feel kind of weird or weirded out.  Hard to explain.  I’ll try to do that later.  Sometimes my kitchen looks…”odd?”  It looks weird now.

DTs.  Paranoia goes with that, but I do with this Non-Arsey Neuro.  Very basic test.  Sit comfortably and stretch arms out.  Shaky? Unbalanced? Let’s check.  Oh, I am SO unbalanced! My hands look like two birds flying in the air!

Okay.  I think I need to rest.  That’s some past stuff and current, as in right now.  Hey, I always blog when in hospital so this is just a hospital for one!

HEADACHE TO BAD TO PROOFREAD: PHOTOPHOBIA!!!

Oh yes! Emotions! OMFG.  When I came home, I had an Asperger’s Mini-Meltdown.  Yay.

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