I kept holding my little AA Chip I got today after my first Meeting.  No.  I kept holding it ALL DAY.

And crying.  And crying.  And crying.  And crying.

And smoking.  And smoking.  And smoking.  And smoking.

We’ll deal with that addiction later.  Although, Sweetie GP has a Clinic to help with that. 

Holy, crap! Multiple Doctors working in the same office and they have Clinics to help you with everything and they’re all in the same office.

The building is also a high rise with other occupants.  Quite.

This is going to be rambly as all get out.  Or get up? Ouch.

I took my meds pretty early hoping to pass out like a bomb.  Huh? Passing out wouldn’t sound like a bomb would it? I don’t know.  I pass out quietly.

Slow.  No? I broke my role of only two Valium a day to three to kick my sleep meds in the arse if they don’t kick in after a long time.

It’s okay that I do this though, kids.  No abuse of my meds.  All my Doctors know I do this.

Finally! But very fitful.  Then a few hours later? 0300hrs? Oh, man!

Had to go to the bathroom but MIGRAINE!!! Gulped my Maxalt but after that, I knew that going back to sleep would be impossible.

I’m so gone.  I don’t think I can write anymore.  Proofing this will be impossible.  I think you guys will get it though.

When my Insomnia gets beyond control, I find I can usually (or possibly?) get some winks before sunrise.  Maybe I’ll try that.


  1. I hope you’re doing ok!

    I agree that you may need to tackle one addiction at a time (a friend of mine was told the same thing by her doctor).


  2. Hi prideinmadness. Thank you so much for stopping by. Yes, you are very correct and so is your friend!

    So I’ve already got the AA thing rolling. Now I’ve contacted Sweetie GP for some assistance with smoking cessation.

    It seems such an endless cycle of getting a handle on things. Then you have an “Oops!” moment. I get so angry when I do. I see RED. I look in the goddamn, fucking mirror and all I see is RED staring back at me!

    I know that is the wrong way of thinking though. I can just be very stubborn about certain things in my life. I can take the attitude of, GO BIG OR GO HOME! *laughing*

    Hopefully I’ll make it through. I know it’s taken a long time for a lot of addicts to get clean. I’m just starting, so it might be a bit of a long road ahead.

    Not sure, there. Day by day, right? Just like everything else we could say for our lives, correct?


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