The One That Got Away
I’m not talking about reeling in a fish and losing it. No. This phrase his a different meaning of which I think everyone knows.
That one true love that “got away.”
Did they really “get away?” And were they your “one true love” as well? What does that mean?
I think it means it’s a construct you have created in your own mind. You have fallen “in love” (whatever that means as well) and you have become, at various points, a near slave to that construct.
That would mean you are possibility “pining” for that certain someone? That construct. Step back. If you can.
Which I have never been able to do. Or at least very well.
Maybe the one that got away is actually you. You might have seen me leading up to this conclusion?
What to do? Nothing. I’ve had several periods like like this, and the only balm is time. Like a period of grief. What if that doesn’t work?
It might take more balm, more time…and…the future unknown. And yet, the future still being unknown, you might end up living in that construct for who knows how long?
I still live in my own constructs or a couple now. Maybe not all the time but the women’s voices and laughter, and intimacy of course always come back to me.
And sometimes it almost haunts me. I don’t want them to be anything that got away then. I just want to hang on and be grateful for the time we had together.
That makes them ones that didn’t get away. Even me too?
Written while listening to “Sweetest Perfection” by Depeche Mode. Appropriately?