Archive for January, 2016


I’m thinking of the wonderful person who left me the wonderful comment on my Post “Possible Departure.”  I’m also thinking of the new people I’m meeting now from the above hashtags on Twitter.

Can Dr. PA perform whatever surgery to reconnect her Blog causing the (best description) phantom limb pain? She’s not even sure what limb, or organ is affected.  And who’s to say there’s only one?

My personal writing is rather different than what you would see here.  Except possibly in style, in parts.  A smattering or splattering, here and there.

As far as my personal writing, I’ve got my fingers stuffed in every pie.  Apart from Screenplay which I would love.  I have a theatre background so I think it would be very fulfilling.
 
Otherwise, you name it, I’ve done it.  Or, have worked on and lost it, due to technological disasters–before a backup.  However, the main idea or ideas remained in my head.

I probably could have reconstructed it, like a five-year-old learning to tie their shoelaces for the first time.  Or maybe not.

I’d still give it a shot though.  If it became too troublesome and/or frustrating, I’d just stop and put it aside. 

That’s one thing I’ve learned.  If you still see one iota of potential in something you’ve set aside, even lost in a box, in an ancient notepad or on the floor under furniture *raises hand* NEVER throw it away.

Conversely, only you know what you’ve produced and where it came from.  I find (or feel) these are your most intimate pieces of work.  They are for me.  They are my poems.

It depends, but sometimes I can look at a poem I’ve written and immediately know it carries zero value whatsoever.  Others are like a rating system.  Like when you are at an intersection? Red, Yellow, Green…

What about environment? Well, it’s kind of odd for me.  I’ll start simply with either silence or a lot of sound.  Loud! Or just background, useless loops.

I have Asperger’s and ADD.  This is where things get a little strange.  I have some Auditory Processing Issues with my Asperger’s.  That might account for the various sounds I “automatically choose” to hear. 

The ADD! Indeed, you would think I could not focus that well? It might prove difficult to write? Yes, that happens.

There is another side to it though.  I can hyperfocus to extreme degrees on subjects that very much interest me.  A bomb blast next to me could happen and I wouldn’t have a clue.  And actually, the Asperger’s falls in line with that as well.

So, it’s somewhat comforting to know my rather complicated brain (more diagnoses) is good in a somewhat, somehow kind of way. *laughing*  Nah, my nutty bean comes in handy for other things too.

Well, I guess that’s some info about my writing and how I try to accomplish more than bogroll.  I find it hard to keep up with a lot of the time, but it’s still there.

Plus, there is no such thing as a lonely writer.  You have two awesome friends that will never leave your side.  A Dictionary and a Thesaurus.

Advertisements

Although it has not been scientifically proven, Bedbugs do not cause headaches.  However, they do cause an allergic reaction through biting.  Or, rather by infusion and extraction.  It’s really interesting but it can totally suck.  Because I get bitten like crazy.

They have two dastardly needles to stab you in sequence.  The first is an anaesthetic; the second is then used to draw your blood.

Quite compassionate little Vampires? I think not!

So I’m starting to unpack some things in between doing my regular laundry and all of the clothes in my closet (which had to be done on the day of the TWO times of Pesticide Treatment.)

Well, the closet I couldn’t get done.  I have a cane and very much needed now for some mysterious head injury.  I was told I could do my closet within my own suitable time frame because I’m sick–from that and more.

And yet, I still can’t fathom ANYONE doing all of that!

I’m not a Clothes Whore (am I?) Well, I have a lot of nice stuff but if you’re Jewish, I also have a lot of schmatte.  So, okay.  I’m a Clothes Whore to some degree. 

Fine.  I’ll admit to “Labels” too.

Back to unpacking.  For Treatment, put a lot of items in big garbage bags where Bedbugs might be hiding out.  However, only certain things.  This didn’t make any sense to me at all.

Why shove my suitcase that was in my closet, and not a big box of photographs, wide open, in the corner of a room? The corner was dark.  My suitcase was closed up tight.

ARGH!!!!!!

Which brings us to tonight.  I had to bag two Bankers Boxes that were completely falling apart, full of documents.  Now do you get the photos in the corner of the room idea?

Well, I have to unpack everything, so just like moving? Time to get rid of a lot of junk! Although I knew it would be a disaster…  Bedbugs? Paper? Boxes nearly disintegrating?

I went out and bought a Paper Shredder, new Bankers Boxes, and let the fun begin! No fun.

I had to buy the cheapest Shredder and it can get jammed after about seven or eight pages! The bucket looks pretty big, but maybe “Spatially Challenged Me” somehow doesn’t “Get It.”

Or the Shredder is minutely, minute.  A few sheets in, dump.  A few sheets in…

But I think I “released” some of those pricks.  Pun intended.

Bedbugs like blood.  They’re drawn to it.  Which is lovely when I have my period and THEY HAVE ME!!!  I have to be so careful.

The Shredder doesn’t like any airborne (or other types) of chemicals.  Oh, okay.  I have black bags everywhere, nowhere to sit, how and…?

It became a combination of construction and surgery.

I had to block off all the white powder with bags to keep it from floating around? They like blood.  Medical procedure gloves for paper cuts! A pair of tweezers and a little plastic container of water.

That last part? I know.  Definitely, Dr. PA.  Catch anything that might fall and plop!

That’s another secret to tell.  If there are any problems with your mattresses and you’ve stripped away all of your sheets and bagged them too? Vacuum, as well?

If you have patience and a good eye?

I did the above but things didn’t “look” right.  I saw very tiny black, spots that weren’t fluff or dust.  Then a little RED one!

I started squishing them with my hands but that just resulted in more bites.  Enter the (soon to be patented) “Tweezer Invention!”

Going through the paper, trying to catch stuff, it’s stirred something up.  I’ve got some bites on my hand and wrist.  But even after the Professional Treatment, they said to expect activity for a few days.

ARGH!!!!!!

Don’t tell the neighbours.


I mentioned on Twitter that it might, might be time for me to hang up my Blogging Hat.  Or, to say stop my Blogging Hands.  That would be more appropriate.

It’s not an ongoing, forever-we-experience, Blogging Crisis.  It’s not Writer’s Block.  I could think of many things to write about.

Things have changed.  Some that are easy(ier) to explain, some I don’t know if I can, but I’ll try.  Some I don’t even know if I can explain to me!

My Blog has been up for nine years.  I don’t know how long any measurement that means.  In terms of living, averages of any kind, but that’s pretty irrelevant, I think.

I mentioned the word, “living.”

Are Blogs really living entities? I believe the answer is a very firm, no.  We MAKE them living entities.

I made an analogy on Twitter as well, regarding the “feelings” between both my Blog and me, as a person.  I said, “I feel like I have phantom limb pain.”

It’s true.  Something has been severed.  The “living entity” I have created, that which was so connected to me…  It’s not anymore…  But to what degree, and even what part of my body, I do not know…yet.

Despite still writing a bit more, I have been tremendously unhappy with my Blog.  The beginning of things being severed? There were times I couldn’t even look at it.  Now, things seem so, terribly disjointed and I can’t fix them.

I definitely don’t expect you to understand that last sentence!

Does reading my Blog make me cry? *laughing* Of course not! It’s my life!

Thinking about my life might make me cry, but my entire life isn’t on my Blog.

The only times I’ve cried reading my Blog was years ago.  I would receive these Comments from utter strangers.  They would pour their hearts out to me and tell me I literally saved their lives.

I would sit and bawl my eyes out.  Why me? Who am I? I didn’t say anything? It took a LONG time to respond to people like that! But they were few.  I’m not being egotistical.

I write a lot about having no life.  Well, I do.  We all do.  Perhaps not as we’d always like it, but you can’t escape the fact.

How many hours have I Blogged, read other Blogs, spent time on Twitter when that came along later.  How about all day and all night?

At the time it felt just fine.  Really? Not so really. 

That’s not healthy.  I mean, for me it isn’t.  It’s an unhealthy escape.  Too easy to muck about when I need to focus on getting myself at least somewhat together.  Also, that “somewhat” is just a start.

How long has it been since I really got into my own writing? I mean really got into it? I have SO many unfinished projects, I haven’t sent any Submissions to anyone in ages. *sighs*

Am I done? I sure feel done.  This Post has been exhausting to write.  Difficult, too.  Don’t cry, PA!

*teardrops*

But for now, I’m still here.  I haven’t made a final decision. 

Maybe Dr. PA can perform some surgery on both sides; to mend herself and reattach what she brought to life and into this world.