I mentioned on Twitter that it might, might be time for me to hang up my Blogging Hat. Or, to say stop my Blogging Hands. That would be more appropriate.
It’s not an ongoing, forever-we-experience, Blogging Crisis. It’s not Writer’s Block. I could think of many things to write about.
Things have changed. Some that are easy(ier) to explain, some I don’t know if I can, but I’ll try. Some I don’t even know if I can explain to me!
My Blog has been up for nine years. I don’t know how long any measurement that means. In terms of living, averages of any kind, but that’s pretty irrelevant, I think.
I mentioned the word, “living.”
Are Blogs really living entities? I believe the answer is a very firm, no. We MAKE them living entities.
I made an analogy on Twitter as well, regarding the “feelings” between both my Blog and me, as a person. I said, “I feel like I have phantom limb pain.”
It’s true. Something has been severed. The “living entity” I have created, that which was so connected to me… It’s not anymore… But to what degree, and even what part of my body, I do not know…yet.
Despite still writing a bit more, I have been tremendously unhappy with my Blog. The beginning of things being severed? There were times I couldn’t even look at it. Now, things seem so, terribly disjointed and I can’t fix them.
I definitely don’t expect you to understand that last sentence!
Does reading my Blog make me cry? *laughing* Of course not! It’s my life!
Thinking about my life might make me cry, but my entire life isn’t on my Blog.
The only times I’ve cried reading my Blog was years ago. I would receive these Comments from utter strangers. They would pour their hearts out to me and tell me I literally saved their lives.
I would sit and bawl my eyes out. Why me? Who am I? I didn’t say anything? It took a LONG time to respond to people like that! But they were few. I’m not being egotistical.
I write a lot about having no life. Well, I do. We all do. Perhaps not as we’d always like it, but you can’t escape the fact.
How many hours have I Blogged, read other Blogs, spent time on Twitter when that came along later. How about all day and all night?
At the time it felt just fine. Really? Not so really.
That’s not healthy. I mean, for me it isn’t. It’s an unhealthy escape. Too easy to muck about when I need to focus on getting myself at least somewhat together. Also, that “somewhat” is just a start.
How long has it been since I really got into my own writing? I mean really got into it? I have SO many unfinished projects, I haven’t sent any Submissions to anyone in ages. *sighs*
Am I done? I sure feel done. This Post has been exhausting to write. Difficult, too. Don’t cry, PA!
But for now, I’m still here. I haven’t made a final decision.
Maybe Dr. PA can perform some surgery on both sides; to mend herself and reattach what she brought to life and into this world.