Archive for May, 2019


I lost my long Introductory Post for this Category. It was scrawled down in a notebook and now seems gone for good. This also tends to happen with a lot of my other writing, but in most of those cases it’s a good thing.

There is one thing I do remember. Artichokes are your best friends!

Put them in everything! Yummy.

Okay, I cheat. I don’t put them in everything. I’ll just eat them while I’m cooking. You can follow that rule too.

Yummy.


I’m finding myself falling into a pattern again. It’s bringing men I meet in a bar home at closing hour.

I did this years ago while Bipolar High Swinging. Alone, lonely. However, the majority of the time was when I was spurned (or worse) by a woman I was in love with.

Yes I’m gay. And a clear yes to the spurning and worse, it was unrequited love.

So I’d select some random guy and fuck him. Certainly not the other way around.

It was ridiculously easy. Sit in a corner. Pick one. Start making eye contact, and before you knew it, all of your drinks were free.

Back home was ridiculous. All of the compliments, wanting to “make love.” I wanted to slap them all until their teeth fell out. The only thing that was alright was giving me a precoital massage. Briefly.

Afterward, I’d kick them out of my apartment as fast as they came (extremely bad pun.)

One guy insisted upon sleeping and cuddling until the morning. I actually grabbed his stuff, threw it toward the door and started screaming at him to get out. I think it was 0400hrs or so?

I wasn’t angry with them, of course. They were nothing. Blank Canvases. Simply there for me to throw my life’s mess all over them. Constantly trying to find the right colour of an unruly heart.

I’m back again. This sordid terrain. Yes, there is another woman responsible who is driving me to become irresponsible.

Sure, I could “own it” but it’s not that easy. Especially considering the past, and how easy it’s been to slip into it all over again.

I need to stop stranger danger with these men I meet. It hasn’t been pretty.


Someone enjoyed the last song I put up. Awesome! And thank you.

More awesome, is I used to stream my own music. MP3 Of The Moment.

However, I required someone who had a Server. ftp up the files as WP wouldn’t let you actually upload your own files.

At least not in the way I wanted to for everyone. I enjoyed adding comments and quips below the link.

Well I’ve been gone so long, this is new! Toss up a fucking TouYube? That might help a lot with my own music choices!

I just might have to warn people that it’s all about the music, the song. Not the ridiculous, or even visually horrific images where I am guilty of assault.

I’m free and clear with this one though! At least as far as this one is concerned; song and images.

I desperately want Tukker’s jacket as well.

https://youtu.be/cYeFSbKOTOg


I haven’t used my Stereo in a long time. It’s a BOSE Wave III. If you have one, you might know where I’m headed.

I won’t get technical, but the sound doesn’t head in all directions. Efficient sound. Better quality. Much.

So the best song I have to actually test that theory, is this one:

“Dance Yrself Clean” by LCD Soundsystem.

Have a listen. The BOSE does things. To everyone’s ears.


The Phantom has returned. Maybe she will Post once a month, a year, it will be useless, ranty, but that’s how she’s feels now.

Plus not giving a damn crap about grammar.

I’d get into the story but I’m too tired and honestly ready for the Psych Ward because of it.

Soothing Goth Music and loads of drugs to get to sleep.

Laters.