I’m interested in all things psych/neuro, and medicine in general, actually.  I love research, and am fascinated by how the body works. Now, that’s a BAD opening sentence! Still, it’s true. *shrugs*

I am also a Great Sage and a Great Prophet (i.e. I ramble a lot.)

I am also a Great Geek (i.e. no i.e. required.)

I would like to consider myself a writer (beyond this blahg) however, I’m not a professional.  I have been published before, so I guess that somehow does qualify me as a “professional,” but that is not how I earn a living.  I write more for the sheer enjoyment and beauty of it.  Still, if something comes up where there is a possibility I may be published (now matter how unbelievably high the statistics are against it) off goes my submission!

In terms of other “professions?” Loony, Nutbar, Fruitcake, Mentalcase…we can just keep adding to the list.  I think this would be the perfect place t say I have been hospitalized eleven times.  So, a “professional patient?” However, one was for a non-psych, physically “insane” reason where I was so sick they had to place me in Isolation.  Glass doors shut and the whole deal.

Another note about “Being a Professional.”  Yes, I am, or can be, referred to as Dr. PA.  I even put it on my sidebar where my email address is.  It’s a joke that’s been around for a while.  However, some people have been complimentary enough (and perhaps more  than myself), to say I could be a physician. *shudders*

Dr. PA would undoubtedly kill someone.  Although, I am that geeky enough, and enjoy digging into my research so much, I do make posts of that nature.  They may make me sound smarter than I really am, but surprisingly I do understand some of what I’m talking about.  Rest assured.  Dr. PA would never (intentionally) mislead her readers!

My diagnoses are Bipolar II (however, I am an Ultradian Cycler, so that quite arguably could be Bipolar NOS) ADD (Inattentive Type) Asperger’s, Epilepsy, Migraines and PTSD.  Along with the PTSD, I can add a component of the DID family.  That would be Dissociative Amnesia.  There is also some underlying Eating Disorder business in terms of Anorexia.  So, we can toss a bit of that in there, too! Rather a full house? My brain is quite complex.  Loads of fun, I tell you! Never a dull moment!

I live in Canada, if geographical locations are pertinent details to you.

I can stutter.  I do a lot of other weird things, too.  I’m a total spaz.

I’m also female if that is important to you, as well.  You know, that’s probably worth mentioning.  I’ve had a few readers ask me of my gender.  Funny, huh?

And just what is funny? My funny? Black, warped, dark, twisted, sarcastic and dry! Plus, extremely obscene, and bordering on offensive to some.  Well, bring it on! You can not offend me!

I very much welcome feedback, comments, questions, so if you wish, toss your darts to:

patientanonymous (at) gmail (dot) com

Edit: As of June 2006, in case you are wondering who “Merlin” is, he’s my psychiatrist…oh, and I won’t change the date, as it’s a little complicated.  I actually have two psychiatrists, so the other one is Merlin #2 (thus making Merlin, now, Merlin #1.)

Edit: For all the epilepsy folks out there (and anyone else who is interested) I feel I should list all the types of seizures I have experienced.  Now that I’ve had them, of course they may come back!

My epilepsy is also idiopathic (of unknown cause.)  The seizures and types are no longer listed chronologically as they appeared through my life.

  • Simple partial of all manner including motor, sensory, psychic and Gelastic.  Also involving autonomic nervous system controls including thermoregulation disorder, olfactory (involving sense of smell–would fall under sensory) and Abdominal Seizures–ANS–i.e. autonomic nervous system.)  I may have missed more and I giving examples of each would take up so much of the page! However, I believe I’ve hit every type of Simple partial type out there.
  • Complex Partial
  • Atonic
  • Astatic
  • Reflex (generally causes myclonic reaction through body, extremely often beginning with jaws, then rest of body perhaps, but definitely legs if more myoclonic activity occurs.  Also frequent is atonic activity re: neck, eyelid myoclonus and loss of vision.)  However, these may not all happen at the same time!
  • tonic-clonic
  • NCSE (Non-convulsive Status Epilepticus.)  This is an “epilepsy syndrome,” basically.  The specific type of this syndrome for me, is “Typical Absence Status Epilepticus.” What it means, is that I am experiencing prolonged absence seizures for various periods and those times are unknown. Also, the absence seizures may be in different forms.  I become extremely sick to the point it debilitates me.  At least I know that it is catamenial (both revolving around menstruation and ovulation.)
  • Absence Seizures (although I may have had them as a child, I don’t know.)

There could be more “unclassifiable” seizures happening, as well.  I think that’s a considerable list, so it might be possible more could be going on that no one is aware of!

I have also had many experiences with something called Todd’s paresis.  It is a temporary weakness or paralysis that occurs to a portion of the body where the seizure has occurred.  One morning I knew I had a tonic-clonic in my sleep as I woke up with Todd’s paresis from the neck down! That was interesting.

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you like what you see.

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  1. Mastabattas

    Did a search on my handle and came across a message from ya… I think anyhow. Something about a comment I might have posted somewhere…however I have no idea what I said. Drop me a note…see if we can figure this out.

    Like

  2. Hi Mastabattas, I had to Google you as your name did sound familiar and nothing came up in my search in this blog. I left you a message on my old Blogger blog re: a post I had made after I migrated to WordPress. I believe you had said something with regard to a post I made and you had brought the post to light as part of a message forum you belong to.

    Yes, you did! Who would have thought keeping my old Blogger blog up for so long would have served a purpose! The thing is, your comment never made it over with the migration as you sneaked it in while I still had both blogs running at the same time.

    I will email you a link to the post I wrote in question. I should probably have a peek at your blog too as I’ve been trying to find some good paramedic/EMT blogs for a while.

    Take care and nice to hear from you again,
    PA

    Like

  3. I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed that I like to put an image along with the feeds in my sidebars — I find it drives traffic to the sites and it makes my site look cool without any effort on my part… so I was updating Salted and I was wondering if you’ve got an image (I know you’re protecting your anonymity, but some people hide — like “Sex In Canada” — their faces behind a fan or something) I’d really appreciate having an image with your RSS on my site. If not, don’t worry about it, the Feed stays regardless.

    If you’re into it my email address is feartheseeds@yahoo.ca… the image should look best at h225px by (max) v168px.

    Like

  4. Hey feartheseeds, will email email you…thanks. You’re cute.

    Like

  5. WhoreChurch

    Caught you over at Dame Wiggy. I’ve read a few of your posts here. Great blog. I think most of us bloggers are to some extent certifiable–but maybe that’s because we’re the ones who tried to get treatment?

    Like

  6. Hi WhoreChurch, nice to meet you. Well this is quite a coincidence as I was just over on your blog. But I got a little sidetracked by one of your…*ahem*…links.

    I’m sure you can figure out which one?

    Thank you for the compliment on my blog, though. I very much appreciate that. I’ll try and get my attention redirected from “The Itch”–alright I gave away the link–and come back to you!

    Take care,
    PA

    Like

  7. Hi. I have been reading your blog-very nice. I, too, have a strong interest in psychology and neurology. It’s nice to hear from a patient who isn’t totally anti-psychiatry. BTW- I don’t mind if you sound a little brittish

    Like

  8. Hi paulie11, nice to meet you and thank you for reading me and taking the time to leave a comment. Thanks as well for liking my blog. That means a lot. It is comments like yours that keeps me going.

    If you have been following along recently, I have been having a rough time blogging and keeping up with fellow bloggers…wow, I used to read so many.

    I almost feel ashamed.

    No, I am not a patient that is anti-psychiatry. I mean, I know what I need. However, I certainly won’t judge or chastise what someone else might think or feel that they might wish to do with their brain or mind?

    I am completely open to discussion–as long as it remains civilized and respectful. We all have differing points of view? But by no means do we have to sink to tearing off strips if you get my meaning. I can not stand bullshit in the blogosphere. Even though I speak quite freely and it may not be to everyone’s palate, I am not rude to my readers or commenters.

    And thanks for not minding me sounding like a Brit. *grin* I know a lot of my other readers don’t. It’s rather strange for a wee Canuck like me having a majority UK following but that’s just how it is…

    Funny, that.

    Like

  9. Merry Christmas Purple ninJAH, I hope you find some peace with your family over the Season.

    From me to You:

    Dear Editor—

    I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

    Virginia O’Hanlon

    Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the scepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

    Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

    Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

    You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

    No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

    Like

  10. Thank you Gabriel…… *crying*

    Hugs,
    PA

    Like

  11. Good morning PatspeedphreakAnon… you’re going to have to back up a bit and explain a few details you left out of the emails you sent, I feel like I just read chapters 3, 6 and 10 of a twelve chapter book.

    Like

  12. Hi Gabriel…, yes…I shot you a whole whack of information in a very short time, didn’t I? I’m not sure what else I can tell you from what is there?

    I’ll send you more and you can let me know if you have any questions?

    Like

  13. Hey ninJAH… I need your “I’m a NINJAH MOTHERFUCKER” help. WP says Bell is fucking with my life… so I need to know if Anything is slowing your surfing down and what ISP are you using then, please, go here and read this: http://saltedlithium.wordpress.com/2008/03/07/504

    In the Forums they’re basically saying it’s up to Bell users to convince Bell to change something… me no like-ee.

    Like

  14. Hi Gabriel…, okay, I’ll skip over to your link but right off the bat, whatever WP is saying doesn’t sound like it makes any sense at all!

    WTF?!

    I don’t use the same ISP and I am surfing just tickety-boo.

    Like

  15. Hey, I was surfing in the shallow end and found something I thought would offer you a lot of hope for a better tomorrow…

    Like

  16. HAHAHA Gabriel…, I actually accidentally closed my browser tab after watching that… I swear, It’s because I haven’t had my tea yet *laughing*

    Although, I didn’t find her that attractive anyway… Despite the action, looks are important–that may make me sound shallow but…sorry! So is the person’s brain.

    A lot to ask for? I don’t think so.

    Hmmm… I wonder if I could compete with that?

    *PA ponders*

    I’ve never had any complaints so far *wink*

    Like

  17. The person’s brain is always important, but you can’t train someone the kind of abilities the YouTube chick has… most people can be trained to read a book.

    Did that person who left the comment on Dame Wiggy’s page ever apologize?

    Like

  18. Hi Gabriel…, yes…brainy-brain! I was kind of curious if the Tube was somehow altered or manipulated…huh. Oh well, whatever.

    The person. Apology. Are you referring to the person who commented back when I was pulling all the Spock stuff? If so, oh yes! I directed the person to the post on my blog and they thought it was funny and well written or something.

    If not, did someone else make a nasty comment about me on dame’s blog? Please advise… *laughing*

    You know me! I don’t ruffle feathers! Well, I try not to…maybe if something stupid falls out of my mouth but it’s always unintentional! I’m just goofy.

    Like

  19. Yeah, it was the Spock thing. I was over at Dame’s (who has gone missing again) and saw the “WTF” comment aimed at you… which pissed me off so I kind of left a message telling the person to apologize to you. As soon as I posted it I thought… “mmm… I wonder if she has already gotten an apology”. Oh well…

    You’re not goofy, you use a lot of self depreciation on your blog, which can be goofy, but You’re not goofy.

    Like

  20. Hi Gabriel…, yep…all cleared up. She felt so bad about it actually and I was, “…no…no…!” Really, the whole comment was meant for dame and to give her a laugh. I thought she knew all about my whole “Spock thing/side of my personality.”

    So dame’s gone AWOL, again? I haven’t been past her pad or anyone’s lately! I’m just fucking off a bit at work now and trying to do a bit of visiting but I’d rather be back home in bed! I hope she’s okay. Maybe just time for another break?

    Well, I do use a lot of self-deprecation, indeed! I am, or can be, a little goofy in person! I have my serious side of course but…well, you’d have to meet PA, perhaps. She loves to laugh so if that means some silliness along the way? So be it!

    Like

  21. I thought if you were in the mood for some physical exercise you could maybe use this… you might remember it from gym class.

    Like

  22. Oh Gabriel…, that is funny. Yes, we did do some of that crazy stuff in gym class although we were never in such close proximity to each other, never wore those clothes or bumped asses like in that one shot–as per the first point–close proximity *laughing*

    We did do square dancing that required physical contact during certain classes. Nobody wanted to be PAs partner *PA hangs head at sad memories*

    But back to the YouTube.

    The music was different as well. They would play that song “Popcorn” a lot. “Doot-doot-doot-doot-doo-doo-doot…” I actually have a version by Kraftwerk.

    Another bizarre thing. We were all gathered to do it first thing in the morning sometimes like we were under some wacky Communist regime or something! I guess they just wanted to teach us the importance of exercise? I don’t recall being brainwashed in any way… *laughing* Oh, that’s probably how it works, right? You don’t remember.

    I don’t recall being abducted by aliens either but sometimes I do wake up with odd marks on my body… Oh, that’s probably me just going out and getting drunk and doing something stupid–and not remembering the next morning. Kidding.

    Like

  23. I wish I had come up with the idea to call the shrink “Merlin.” Now I HAVE TO find something as catchy.

    Like

  24. Hi Sara, thanks for coming by and welcome–to you as well! I seem to be picking up some new visitors or (commenters at least.) Funny how that happens in spurts around here!

    I don’t know if this is weird timing but I just visited you on Friday. However, I had to dash out of work so I didn’t have much time to read you. I’m going to have to bookmark you here as well on this crazy old computer as I don’t know if my old ones will stick after the data dump on my new MacBook when I go get it.

    Anyway, if you didn’t find it elsewhere, as I explained in another post, “Merlin” came up as I wanted him to cast a spell over me with his “magic wand” and “fix me!” *laughing*

    You take care and I’ll try and pop by and read you more soon.
    PA

    Like

  25. Thanks for your work, I’ve posted a link to your blog here:

    http://www.mindfreedom.org/kb/mental-health-blogs

    A great thing about our opposing normality is that it does not exist.

    Like

  26. Geez PatAnon, I had no idea you were so closely affiliated with the “psychiatric survivors liberation movement” and I’ve read almost every post you’ve put up over the past year.

    Seriously though, how’d you get on the mailing list of these anti-psychiatry nutjobs?

    Like

  27. Hey Gabriel…, I don’t know. I was out for dinner when I got this comment so hey. I mean…blog mailing lists? Oh yeah! Heavy…give me a ring-a ding-ding!. Especially because of that last sentence:

    “A great thing about our opposing normality is that it does not exist.”

    I mean that kind of flipped my tiny lid but when I linked…meh…the site looks silly, innocuous, has this disclaimer…almost like a “fancy” Splogger site but I don’t know.

    At this point…fucking link to me, read me…it’s not like I write wheeee! And great, if creaky, worse off–let’s-tell’em off…

    Give them what they want? I’ll give you authourship if we could somehow send just to them?

    Whadd’ya say?

    Like

  28. It’s like they just flew through someone’s blogroll… Furious Seasons is on their list, so is Gianna’s site but they’re mostly anti-pill, not psychiatry but I think they grabbed you (ouch) mostly because of their list’s criteria: “Blogs on changing the mental health system, human rights and alternatives” and they posted this part of your About page: “all things psych and neuro and medicine medicine.”

    I really have to post something about people like this… they keep insisting that thousands and thousands of people are being swept off the streets and subjected to electroshock therapy and medications totally against their will… but they can’t seem to put together a room full of these abuse victims. These MindFr33dom people read very much like they’re funded by the Sci3nce people.

    I’d suggest killing the link, like just take the http-www out of it… I think they’re looking for attention.

    Like

  29. Hi Gabriel…, oh yes…I am finally remembering your comment here as again…I was drunk when I got home. I’m just going to make a quick post about/aboot that now. Why bother working first thing on a busy Monday morning, right?

    I went to their site (again, I did it last night when I was drunk…) and I remember these guys a touch…yes! They did the whole “Mad Pride” thing that I blogged about/aboot way back!

    Now, I’m not really sure what to do here. I’m all about/b>aboot Freedom of Speech” (HA! I just about typed “Freedom of Speed”–I wonder if we can all take that as a med?) Still, I don’t know if I should remove the comment or alter it. Well, I’m not going to remove the comment–no. I don’t and never have, whether it’s a Splogger or even a troll (which I’ve never gotten anyway.)

    But your observation is interesting that they picked up a whack of us!

    I also like that they wrote “…medicine medicine.” I just had to check and make sure I didn’t make a damn typo on my “About”/Aboot page!

    I kind of feel like leaving it as is since we’re having a nice discussion about/aboot it?

    Like

  30. dw

    keep moving… be silly … dance… wear funky clothes that don’t match, keep your pulse hoppin’.

    xx

    Like

  31. Oh, dw…I haven’t heard that in so long…it is actually making me smile and slightly laugh (but I can’t because of my state and my day)…and well…try to write about it… Oy.

    Holy 90s…

    Love you,
    PA

    Like

  32. dw

    yeah, another tune. i was just taking the ‘girls’ for a listen and the lyrics made me think, yeah.. i should send this one to pa.

    i hope you’re keeping tha’ faith, mama.

    Like

  33. Thanks again, dw…I know, they are so awesome. I kind of stopped listening…well, stopped buying their CDs after “Swamp Ophelia.” I have every one they made up until then. But the music and the lyrics they write just blow me away. Maybe I should go looking for some more of their stuff.

    Have you ever seen them live? I did once. If you get a chance and you haven’t, I strongly recommend it. You’ll be surrounded by a ba-jillion lesbians and some straight women that have dragged along, perhaps, reluctant male partners, almost like to a dreaded “chick flick.” *PA rolls eyes*

    They are excellent, though. And because they are 99.8% acoustic, they just get up there and do their stuff. They “sound” as they “sound.” They might throw in a bit of variance of harmony or some ad lib/off the cuff stuff in a song but…

    Have you ever been to a show where you’ve bought the band’s/performer’s CD or album and they just absolutely suck live? I mean, what a disappointment. Not these guys–girls (haha)–whatever.

    And I really love “Kid Dreams” from their second album (which so many people think is their first–self-titled) where Michael Stipe steps in there. As you of course know, both bands are from Georgia.

    PA loves, loves, loves both. And she’s seen R.E.M. as well. Twice, actually–both for free!

    Like

  34. I was prescribed Seroxat (paxil) , it made me very ill..
    Check out my blog about this poisonous med..

    Thanks..

    http://truthman30.wordpress.com/

    Like

  35. “Unproven pseudoscience nonsense.”
    “Seroxat is a lobotomy in pill form”
    “…you are seven times more likely to kill yourself if you take Seroxat…”
    “Seroxat Holocaust , The Second Wave”
    “Seroxat : The Mental Health Thalidomide”

    Oh yeah, this guy seems reasonable. I love how these groups use the same links, the same sources and the same language then they’ll deny they’re a group. Even the comments feel faked. If you do decide to look at TM30’s blog you’ll find references to his dislike of everything anti-depressant, not just Paxil.

    How come you get all the fun manic depression haters?

    Like

  36. Hi truthman30, thanks for stopping by my blog. I must say I have never seen a blog that is so focused upon one med! Wow. I also checked your “About” page and read some of your comments. Did you notice that quite a few were spam? I actually recognised some of them as I had received them as well–they are sites semi-related to car dealerships.

    True, some of these meds can come with side effects that are rather bothersome but I don’t know if they will kill you. I’d remain more on the side that if you have a serious mental illness and if you didn’t take the meds that you needed, you’d be in a position where you might kill yourself–been there, attempted that. However, that’s just me. And maybe a few other people might feel the same way?

    Hi Gabriel…. I always look at other peoples’ blogs when they comment if they have one. Just out of curiosity to see what they are about and what the writers have to say. Also, I’m a silly little bugger and want to know if they’ve blogrolled me *laughing* Well, no! Really! If they have, then I like to say thank you and then come back and have a read. Or even if they haven’t blogrolled me, they still might have good things to say.

    I know…I do seem to attract some goodies, don’t I? I am not quite sure why. I definitely do have my stance on meds and mental craziness. However, I am not militant. I have said many times that if someone chooses to stop taking meds, that is fine. And we all know Furious Seasons and what he has to say. I’m on his blogroll! And he’s not all crazy anti-med! Even he says so.

    I will also admit that these folks are at least polite. That is a good thing. I’m not getting anyone screaming at me or any trolls (oooh…did I just jinx myself?) Well after all, as said above, PA is not militant and she is a “polite blogger?” Taking the Canadian stereotype over to her blog? And PA is polite by nature anyway.

    Hell, she would even be polite to a troll!

    Like

  37. Thanks for the comment on my blog. :) That guy scratchin’ his head… that’s me. That was the cover of the fourth grade science journal when I taught fourth grade a couple of years ago!
    Cheers!
    Sean

    Like

  38. Hey swvalley/Sean, nice to meet you and thanks for popping over and responding back. Wow, that’s awesome that picture is you. I am so impressed. It is, again, a fantastic photo!

    I’m wondering, did you take it? I’ve tried to do self portraits and sometimes…

    …well, with photography you usually have to shoot a lot to get a “good shot” but even more to get a great shot.

    I think yours is GREAT. Even better that it was published when you were teaching. What a better way to relate to your students!

    Definitely Hugs,
    PA

    Like

  39. Hey, did you know that your tea drinking is backed up with SCIENCE!? The combined effects of L-theanine and caffeine on cognitive performance and mood.

    Like

  40. I’m sorry chimpy, this comment got lost in the shuffle somewhere! Yay for scientifically proven findings, eh? Thanks for the wee PubMed link.

    This doesn’t surprise me at all. Actually, where it did make me “wander of to” (sorry, that was a really bad AD(H)D joke) was to the notion of not having any caffeine before EEGs for seizures. Indeed, you are supposed to be in a “relaxed” state but what caught me about that link was the issue of the “critical fusion flicker threshold.”

    Whoa. That’s kind of neat. Caffeine might make you less susceptible to photic seizures? That may be a bit of a stretch but who knows?

    Take care, dear and again…sorry for the delay.

    *PA pads off to make a cuppa now…wink*

    Like

  41. Wayward Radish

    Nice blog. I’m curious, how much do you know about attachment therapy?

    http://childtorture.wordpress.com/

    I am one of the very few survivors to have come forward; I’m trying to spread the word of this lethal epidemic. Would be interested to hear your thoughts.

    Like

  42. Hi Wayward Radish, thank you for liking my blog. As far as Attachment Therapy? Well, first I will state that I am not in any way a qualified practitioner in any form–as you can probably gather from my blog’s name? And when I speak of things such as this: Therapy, Medicine etc… I like to always use that disclaimer.

    Attachment Therapy is highly controversial and that is a no-brainer. I think that has been well established by now. I’ve taken a look at your blog and even from your comment left here, you have called it a “lethal epidemic.” Now, that is not to say that I am disagreeing with you in any form, casting any stones etc… However, it indicates to me just what a powder keg it may be?

    And also, when I was looking at your blog, I didn’t see the typical “About” page that a lot of bloggers have. I was kind of confused but I respect how we all blog and your choice to speak out in the manner that you have chosen–regarding the “lethality” of the therapeutic process.

    Attachment Therapy has been and is somewhat/can be tied to Attachment Theory. And yet, there is no link and even Attachment “Theory” is just that. A theory. There was one time I blogged about Attachment Theory and it has been within the realm of AD(H)D which I have (specifically–ADD Inattentive Type.)

    Here is the link to that post and it was really only about one M.D. who posed that as his views–along the lines of the theory re: AD(H)D. Not Attachment Therapy. I am only bringing this up as you have asked me what I “think” and what, perhaps, I have written?

    https://patientanonymous.wordpress.com/2007/10/14/add-smackdown/

    Now, in no way was the M.D., Gabor Mate, in favour of Attachment Therapy for all of us with AD(H)D! Christ no! That was just something he thought. Again, theoretical and he wasn’t anti-med, either!

    Okay, so back to your original question. What do I think? Well, I’m not an “expert” as I told you but I really don’t think it’s all that hot. Kids are fragile. So are adults but children haven’t fully developed yet. If they have psych issues…fuck me…they can be all over the map!

    Attachment Therapy is often used with kids that are…well…”troublesome?” Please. Apart from kids being fragile (with psych issues) they are fragile physically too. Shit, so are adults. I don’t know if you’ve read about my physical health but I’m not all that fine and dandy as I weight 98lbs.! That pretty much classifies me as a kid, size wise? And I’m nuts?

    Anyway, I’m not going to get on a bandwagon about it. I really don’t know that much or enough about it as I’ve never seen it in action. You can hear a lot of shit about yes…kids dying and screaming in pain and being “tortured.” If that is the case, then yes, it is right fucked.

    The only thing that I FIRMLY (pun intended) believe in for kids (and bloody adults because I know I’d benefit from it!!!) is Temple Grandin’s “Squeeze Machine,” if you choose to call it that.

    It has never been scientifically studied but she has done her own work with it and it has had fabulous results. I’ve written a post on that, too. Also as an adult, I have tied myself up to soothe myself to go to sleep.

    That’s very Spectrum/AD(H)D and very me. Also, it is NOT harmful! And Temple’s on the fucking Spectrum anyway so gimme a break! It’s not like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about!

    Anyway, I hope this gives you something, some answer/s that you were looking for?

    Best,
    PA

    Like

  43. Hello, I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now and I’ve finally gathered up the courage to comment… wait… no, actually I was emailed by the fine people at the Experience Project, who found me through your blogroll, and they say they’d like me to join their project. I was hoping you could tell me what your experience has been like with their project… which, I guess, is now your project as well.

    Like

  44. Hello Gabriel…, nice to meet you and welcome to my blog. I’m so glad you’ve been reading for a while now and have felt comfortable to comment! Please come back and do so anytime!

    HAHAHA!

    I had to go back and check EP as I couldn’t remember how they worked. I got picked up by a bunch of sites around then *laughing* Yay me as a “Featured Blogger!” Why me as a “Featured Blogger?” is actually more apt.

    Anyway, if memory serves, it is an entirely “Anonymous” Project and that is why it is unique. That is why before I added the Wellsphere .jpg into the widget, I had written above: “Hang Out Here and be Anonymous Like Me.”

    My “Experience” with “Experience?” Well, I really have no clue. I’ve checked my referrals for the last quarter (I was contacted by them in June so that would do it, right?) and they didn’t show.

    Now, I think the referral would come from someone clicking directly on the blog link? Your current post? There is also a link to post a comment directly on the wee space of your blog shown but there is a “post continuance.” I mean, it’s not like anyone would write a post a few sentences long. And the link goes directly to your comment section of your own blog. So the idea is also to drive traffic to your blog. Therefore, still a referral, right?

    So, I don’t know what to say. No one has outrightly said, “I found you through EP!” Granted, no has said, “I found you through “Wellsphere,” either. Although I do see Wellsphere referrals.

    They have the three groups that they have slotted me into via the widget on my sidebar and if you click on any of those, there is a link on their left sidebar that says Related Blogs. They post them (your choice by link) either by Most Recent or Most Popular. I am seven out of 15.

    Here I go sounding like a Borg again…

    So does that help at all?

    Let me know if you need any more info or have any more questions.

    Like

  45. Hi
    I’ve been reading your blog for a while now (have also blogrolled you – I hope you don’t mind), really enjoy reading what your write and loved your idea of calling your ipod Godot!

    Like

  46. Oh Hannah, lovely to meet you. Welcome and thank you for blogrolling me. I feel very flattered. I am also flattered that you have been reading for a while and have been enjoying my blather?

    And thanks for the “vote” for calling my iPod “Godot.” Yes, it has rather stuck in my mind since I wrote the post earlier today.

    Alright, my iPod is now known as Godot.

    I’ve Bookmarked you so I can come back and hopefully keep up with you too!

    Take care,
    PA

    Like

  47. Nice blog. Hang in there. Everyday is a battle, I know from experience. Writing and keeping a journal can help though.

    Like

  48. Hi Pink, nice to meet you and welcome to my blog.

    I see you have just started yours so welcome to the blogosphere, too. I think I have a comment or something for your latest post? My brain is a wee bit mushy after being “Wobbly Legs Seizure Girl,” last night. I may need some more tea in order to tackle writing something remotely coherent! So if it doesn’t come up too soon after writing this, I’ll get there!

    EDIT: It’s already taking me forever to compose this and make it sound remotely coherent. *rolls eyes*

    And completely off topic, you are my 47th comment here. I use an external mouse when I am home (as I am now), so holy, scroll central. Plus, I think I may change this page a bit. Hmmm. I don’t know.

    Also, I had to laugh when I went to your blog and read your “full name.” The first thing that popped into my (daft) head was the pop star Pink! But then I saw the “Floyd” you added! How funny was it that we were both on the train of thought to do with music!

    Thank you so much for your compliment about my blog. That really means a lot. True, every day can be a battle indeed!

    I think my blog can serve as a journal very much for me. I’ve started writing every day this year due to Blog365 and I thought that would be exhausting (although I must admit I have tossed up TouYoubes and boring crap at times.)

    However, that may be more to me just being tired–not necessarily anything to due with Blog365. Or it may be. Regardless, I simply may have not felt inspired to write. I’m not sure. However, I may still have just wanted to blog so I somehow felt the need to post something!

    I guess we’ll find out December 31 2008, eh? See if I keep it up? *wink*

    As far as daily, pen-to-paper journals, therapists have always encouraged me to keep them but I just don’t have the…oh, words, where are you??? (sorry a bit Postictal now…)

    …I just don’t have the motivation, diligence…I don’t know…whatever it takes to keep it up. I think a lot of it has to do with the ADD and also, I’ve never really done well in therapy anyway! *laughing*

    And I procrastinate like you would not believe!

    I suppose you could say you needn’t write every day but somehow to me, I think that would defeat the purpose. I think you would need the consistency in order to “capture” just what is going on. Don’t you agree?

    Take care and come back anytime to join the wee circus, here!

    Best,
    PA

    Like

  49. I’m really happy for you Purple Anonymous. I’ll send the cheese name soon… I’m just in the middle of a mood crash right now and am having trouble doing much of anything.

    Like

  50. Hi again… there’s something wrong with the html on your pages and your posts. When I click on the post link (the posts headline) it opens and every line of text is a hyperlink. Same with the pages. But on your main-page all of the posts are fine… very odd. I know you know this stuff but if you need any help don’t hesitate to let me know…

    Like

  51. …it’s all links to your Twitter site… still weird.

    Like

  52. Hi Gabriel…. I’m still awake here and hanging in. This might be the only comment I get to though as my brain is feeling rather fried, however the “issue” you have brought to my attention is driving me crazy! Even though I am feeling brain fried.

    But first, thank you so much for being happy for me. *grin* I look forward to yet another “Royal Order of the Cheese Title Ceremony.” *laughing* I am sorry about your mood poopiness though. Blah. *hugs*

    Now this blog WP/Twitter battle. Twitter kind of sucks actually but I thought it might be fun. I have turned off my feed for now. I didn’t think removing my widget would do shite as it’s just a .jpg and a link? I mean, nothing really “connected?”

    Do you think? I don’t know…that seems kind of a stretch.

    I did notice that in one of my recent posts, the entire post wasn’t hyperlinked. Some of it still remained in black and as the post itself. Hmmm…

    Not to mention, my older posts from months back are being hyperlinked to Twitter as well. Okay. They aren’t fed to Twitter as I just signed up.

    So, I’m kind of thinking that it’s WP that is doing something freaky. And although I did have another seizure tonight that’s got me all screwy in the head, I had two tabs of PA open and even though I was already logged on, WP made me log in again.

    So…is WP doing something freaky with my Twitter?

    I’ll leave the feed off for now and hopefully something will fix over a bit of time. I’ve got the feed now set up for updates ever 30 minutes. Although I’ve turned it off… Duh. You see?

    Brain dead.

    Let’s give it some time and if it’s all right fucked later, we’ll try and work on it? Contact either WP or Twitter (or both) and say WTF??? The content of my posts are fine–there’s no HTML for me to edit.

    PA
    xo

    Like

  53. And note…I’ll make a wee post about it now so peoples’ eyes don’t pop out of their heads when they read my posts!

    Like

  54. Provoletta: mild provoletta is delicious melted on sandwiches and pizza, sliced into salads and used as a grating cheese. It is also a terrific complement to hearty grilled vegetables.

    Jindi Brie: is smooth and fragrant with a flavour reminicent of mushrooms. It is matured for five weeks before eating, and when served at room temperature from a slice off a huge wheel, it is flowing and unctuous. Its smooth and velvety white penicillin rind is chewy and a delicious textural counterpoint to the almost liquid cheese.

    Like

  55. Tee Hee Gabriel…! Thanks so much for getting around to this! You’re a love. I’ll pass this along to Lovely Researcher and see what she thinks now that she is part of the Royal Family.

    Jindi Brie! Oh, that is just awesome! I am quite sure that Lovely Researcher, now “Her Royal Jindie Brie-ness” will happily approve!

    Is the rest of the Royal Family listening out there?

    Like

  56. Have you ever checked out the fine courses and texts by Dr. Hyatt at http://www.originalfalcon.com

    Yours truly appears on their front page, and in a couple of their DVDs…

    You might enjoy the Energized Hypnosis text, and the Radical Undoing Course.

    Later!

    Love, wildness, Joy…

    Like

  57. Hi escapeplans, no I have not. Thanks for the link.

    That’s cool that you are there but I don’t really know who you are as you blog anonymously? Sort of? I didn’t see an About Page on your blog. *laughing*

    Although I think I saw a post signed off with your first name…

    Like

  58. Greetings. I thought this interview with David Healy on bipolar disorder might possibly interest you and your readers:
    http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/200904/bipolar-disorder-and-its-biomythology-interview-david-healy

    Best regards,
    Chris Lane

    Like

  59. Hi Chris Lane. Pleased to meet you and welcome to my blog.

    I skipped through the link you sent me re: Healy and my, my! I am quite sure he and I could sit down and have some interesting discussions! Especially beyond Bipolar Disorder as he definitely deviates beyond that and into two other comorbidities that I have? ADD and Asperger’s?

    Not to mention, I have my own views of both the DSM and the ICD and how physicians use them, how they have been written…oh, how I would have loved to have been on the committee for latest DSM version coming out!

    And let’s not forget Big Pharma. I do always say that I would be dead by now without my meds. No. I would have killed myself. Seriously. However, that hardly means I am in love with the drug companies, suppliers, peddlers–hell, even so many doctors want to run screaming from their offices when the Pharma Reps drop by for a “visit!”

    So, indeed, thanks for dropping by. Perhaps Healy could too and again, he and I could really get into some stuff. That might be good fun!

    Cheers,
    PA

    Like

  60. Hi my new friend, I sen’t you a mesage one or 2 days ago and I do not know if you got it.
    Take are

    Like

  61. Hi mariana. Is it the one where you told me about what you do etc… If so, I did receive it.

    I have just been trying to get some things together personally and get some things done…well personally, too. Trying to cross some things off my “To Do List.”

    I have also been feeling pretty tired, too. Even getting the things done today took a lot out of me.

    I am going to try and write a post now. I am not ignoring your email though–if that is the one you are talking about. I found it very fascinating.

    Like

  62. Do not worry hope things did go write, I just wanted to know you got it cause I have never sent you and email before. Take your time, all that you need. I am happy you found it interesting.
    M

    Like

  63. Hi mariana. Yep, I got it. gmail is good and very solid. The best I’ve found. Thanks, dear.

    Take care,
    PA

    Like

  64. Good Morning Ms. Popular!

    I’m adding you to my new blonde blogroll.

    -Nada Mea Madison

    P.S. I hate cycling, and glad your feeling better, if you are, Truly. I swear I’m being bootlegged meds by the wrong pharm. guy somedays like the other day, when I slept for 3 days, woke up and went to summer Chem. class wearing my new backpack (I’m back in school to be a RN, sounds stable). What a fool I was, school doesn’t start until the 20th. 12th/20th—I guess I just caught the 2, not my sharpest point. Anyway, this note was a bore, just wanted to clue you in–in the event you protested being mentioned in such a pretty place.

    Like

  65. Hi nadamadison, you silly, little thing! Oh, Ms. Popular? I really think not! I certainly wasn’t during my wee jaunt to hospital over the last (not even a) week.

    Your comment is not a bore. However, I’m missing something about the blogroll. Blonde? Huh? You’ll have to excuse me. I am disgustingly unwell. I just checked the only blog that I know you have and…? Is there another you are hiding away somewhere?

    And no. I have no problem at all being blogrolled. In fact, I am always flattered. I need to blogroll you as well. I would have done so already, had my brain not exploded and me throwing myself into a psych ward.

    Sorry you are getting screwed around with your meds. I like the “2” issue. That sounds a lot like me.

    How am I doing? As above. Absolutely abysmal. Or worse.

    So, yes. Tell me where the hell I’m being blogrolled?

    Like

  66. I’m sorry to hear you were hospitalized. I hope they let you smoke, it if you do. If you don’t it’s a passer. For real, but I need a vice since I’m drug free. Yippie.

    I don’t know unless someone is messing with me my blog is http://manicviolet.wordpress.com, and that’s the blogroll I have you on, I think. Maybe I have no clue. Could be. I’ll check again.

    I wouldn’t put it pass anyone to do so; redirect my blog. I’m not paranoid, things in my life are jacked. My phones don’t even work in my house, says some sprint private network won’t let me dial out. I don’t even have sprint. So I went and bought a new phone…same thing! Forget it.

    See if it’s the same one you know of, if not, I don’t know. I give up. It seems I try to do one thing, and He, Mr. man, blocks me. Fuck b-friends.

    Nada madison–I’m a little pissed off, but not usually, usually perky!!!!!!!!

    Like

  67. Hi nadamadison. Yes, we could smoke and I do but it was right fucked as there were only “scheduled” breaks. Breaks, indeed! As in, “Gimme a break!”

    I still remember “The Good Ol’ Days” when they actually had smoking rooms on the floors! Anyway…

    So, you need a vice? I’ll have to come up with something for you. I’m a bad girl. I am drug free, mind you (sans scripts) but I do drink and smoke. That is it. How about pr0n as your vice! Oh, I kind of like that one! What do you think?

    Yes, that is the blog I knew of but I was thrown off by the “blonde” thing. I was like, ‘does she have a blog about blond hair?’ Plus, I do see my wee linky-linky so thank you. I will see to adding you to mine.

    Tech woes (well all woes) thoroughly suck rotten bananas mixed with monkey turds. Or worse. And not to worry about being pissed off, ranty or hell, even perky. Anything and everything goes around this place!

    Like

  68. PA I want to hand you a MC and let you say it, fuck the Day. If he looks good. Send me a pic, I’ll give you the okay. Trust me, I know. And we don’t have difference of opinions either, that’s BS. I love 2 letter words.

    I think I’m too young to remember smoking on the floor, but last time I was in we could chew nico. gum until it was med time, and then if you were sick like me, you could hide it in there. I don’t recommend. They never caught me, oh mr. lover boy told on me, for my health. I know, how caring. Then they gave me Risperdal the size of my mouth to dissolve, no hiding there. FYI I take my meds now.

    So I start Chemistry Monday. Exciting, huh? That’s my vice Gamma Rays. That’s all I know. Not really into porn, I have a great imagination, but thanks.

    Check out TV Explorer’s blog, I have a link on my newly updated blog with a new blonde for hopes of driving traffic. Just spam. Fuck it, find me a red head. If I could only post me, I’d be rolling in…whatever, I’m hot though, just bipolar and crazy.

    Anyways I bought like 10 books and Narbles today so I think I’ll read. My social life sucks! But I swear I’m pretty cool. Your female, right? Whatever like you’d tell the truth. Oh well, add me to your treatment friend list. The best you’ve ever had.

    Keep up the good job on your post, mine sucks compared to yours. I guess I should read what you right, write, I have such ADHD. Whatever, the pill is good that they scribe. NOT@ALL! JOKE!

    I just love to use the blog as a form of a fantasy, I wanted it to be bipolar help. Fuck. Part Porno Part Diary Part Save the World.

    Tell ur friends. And your link is larger now BTW.

    Ciao Bella,

    MEA nada madison PI

    Like

  69. Hi nadamadison. Okay, I don’t know where to start. I am terribly confuzzled by some things here.

    MC. What sort of, well, acronym is that? Then you followed up with sending a picture of him? MC Hammer? No, not a good picture. His pants always looked like he was wearing a massive diaper or he forgot to put one on!

    I got BS. Bullshit? Or maybe Bog Shit? If you love two letter words, then you simply must love me! PA!

    During my second last stay, they offered the nicotine patch which was cool but I declined. I would like to smoke, thank you. The funniest patients were the ones who took the patch and kept on smoking. Well, it was a Psych Ward. *shrug*

    Also, apparently I can get “The Patch” when I go for my Video EEG. Now, that I may consider as I will be a prisoner of the hospital, hooked up like a Borg. Not kidding. I won’t be able to leave! For…I don’t know…maybe two weeks? However, I don’t know if my “addiction” is physical or psychological. *shrugs again*

    Risperdal the size of your mouth! *laughing* No cheeking! Especially since it would dissolve before you could get it out. Well, maybe half of it but it would be a bloody mess! You’d look like you were frothing at the mouth like a rabid dog.

    Not to worry about the pr0n. Just a suggestion. *giggles* Imagination is all good–for me as well. However, nothing wrong with pr0n. Whatever floats your boat.

    My chemistry sucks so bad. It is what I had the most problems with in my Anatomy and Physiology class. I don’t usually remember my dreams but I’m reasonably sure that I had recurring nightmares about the Krebs Cycle.

    Okay, I caught your new address (and finally) the whole “Blonde” thing! I was only seeing “Brunettes!” Well, if you want to bring yourself out of the closet and are “hot,” sure, post yourself!

    And speaking of coming out of closets, of course I’d tell you the truth! Hell, this blog is complete non-fiction!

    Yes, I am female and closeted? No, I am gay. So there you go.
    Oh, and hot? Well, I have no clue about that–I never know how to perceive myself. I have been told: Cute, Pretty (and OMFG!) Beautiful and Gorgeous! *PA freezes for a moment in shock* Really, though, the last two are unbelievably flattering. And again, this blog is non-fiction. Those words were/have been uttered upon seeing wee PA.

    Scary, huh? *PA blushes and laughs*

    No, I think you’re cool. Absolutely. And an offer to be my best friend… *grin*

    However, darling…none of this, “I’m better; you suck…” garbage. Indeed, we are all insecure but I am not any “better.” Trust me. I’ve been through this with other bloggers and felt completely inadequate in their presence. They have assured me that I am/was not, I am not an idiot (and neither are you) and I do/did have something to offer.

    And you do as well.

    All blogs and bloggers have different styles, tastes, variations etc… So, in the end, does it really matter? No. At times, the insecurity does get the best of us but blogging should be enjoyable–not a noose around your neck.

    Again, style. As you wrote above, I like the way you described that style! It sure lures me in as a “Perverted, Voyeuristic, Nutcase!”

    Take care…talk soon…email if you wish and remember to help me with your acronyms? I’ll let you know if I get stuck!

    Two-Letter-Word,
    PA

    Like

  70. PA,

    By MC I meant microphone, but I didn’t send you anything to do with MC Hammer, but as I mentioned, there seems to be a group that enjoy fucking with me. I used to think it was persecutory delusions but then I got off this crazy Vivanese and I see things for as they are. Sometimes. My old doc. had a thing for new meds, he’s gay too, and all the pill pushers wore pant suites. Bounce with the MC like ‘yeah you know me’ was big in the 80’s with dorks like me who was 9 or so. Those were the days. Whatever.

    I also like three letter words like tid and bid, only after PO, but first 1T. Okay I won’t I won’t I won’t anymore, just don’t get scared when I beep your PA. I’m jumpy and have been on the computer too long. I’m done.

    No. I really don’t believe I’m a lesbian. I thought about it, so did my BF who is convinced I’m from a long time ago, but I really don’t think I’m in a closet. I just can’t do it, can’t do anything so my post is sex crazed, I’m going crazy but not really. I appreciate your candid sense of humor or not about it though.

    Hey high five! I’ve been called….hmmm lately besides looks like she has cancer, well I was top 10 in high school, number 1 in fact. I’m not bragging, just thinking back when I was healthier. The boys, they posted this list in a locker, word got around. I was flattered too. No. I hear hot and all that good stuff, but I don’t really hear it. I don’t care. I just don’t, I tell them, ‘dime a dozen, fuck off,’ and I mean it. Unless I’m obsessed.

    Okay well I love chatting with you, but I think I’m going to try to pull away from the computer. I could go for some vino–rojo vino—I saw u were practicing espanol. red wine. Oh that so sounded lesbian, oh my god! laughing! We’ll just crank up some Sophie B. and Melissa E. or some Hotel Costes, come get real, you like normal music, your not a freak of nature.

    Thanks for the BF badge, I will wear proud. I could print off your pic and put in my album I just created since my last one–box was stolen. All my pics–gone with the wind??? Wrote it off like a fire. Have to.

    I’m 26 I live in LA, but from the Sweden area. How about you?

    Why were you seriously hospitalized? Last time it was for 3 months for me, so no worries. They wanted to commit me–I was f-ing manic, in another world, that was pretty scary, fuck! That wasn’t fun, couldn’t smoke inside or out!!!!!!!!!!

    Ok well I’ll slip a real pic into a post and give you ahead up, just feels like the buddy thing to do.

    Ciao Bella,

    MNMeaNadaMadison

    Like

  71. PA,

    Sorry for such brief message, I really feel odd. I keep wondering if I’m dead or alive, it’s been constant for the past few years now–and I have so many theories. maybe you can help? Sounds weirdo like–I guess there is no other way to ask another what they know about the spirit world.

    No I don’t take drugs. I’m not saying I’m gifted, I just tell myself things when I write, that later turn out to be the truth…never mind.

    Hope your feeling better.

    ALways,

    Mea Nada Madison k;)

    Like

  72. Hi nadamadison and Mea Madison. I never got to you last night as I was out and sooo tired by the time I got home. I tried but I just about fell asleep on baby MacBook.

    Yes, the first thing about MC that came into my head was a mic’ but I couldn’t help myself from being dumb and tossing the MC Hammer stupidity in there.

    What an interesting picture. Bouncy, gay, pill pushers? It sounds more like going to a gay nightclub and sniffing “poppers” or something. Sorry, bad humour again. Ugh. And don’t worry about being a dork. You’re corresponding with one of the biggest ones ever.

    No, you don’t scare me at all. Don’t worry about that. It’s okay. Thank you about my candid sense of humour. I use it a lot on my blog–my sense of humour is way out there and so much, in fact, people have misinterpreted it at times. I’ve had to explain just how it “works” and how I write. For example I continually use self-deprecation!

    Sex(uality?) Labels get me so irked at times. However, they must be used–at times? *shrug* You are attracted to whomever you are attracted to; you fall in love with whomever you fall in love with. For me, it’s women. I have been with men–just no more of that. They don’t have any “effect” in that area for me. Only women do. It’s as simple as that. For me, anyway.

    Funny about the “looks” thing and the “hot” thing. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?” I really don’t think I’m anything special at all so if someone compliments me, I’m like: “What the hell are you thinking???”

    A cancer patient? You must be rather thin? I am too but from actually real gastro problems. I am short 5″2′ (barely) but jumped right down to 90lbs. a few years ago for no reason. I am now holding at 100lbs. at least. That is still the smallest I’ve ever been but I’ve always been pretty small anyway. But that still is too low.

    “That sounds so lesbian…” Oh, you make me laugh. Well, I am a freak of nature but in a good way? I’ll try not to convert you either as all of us “evil homosexuals” do, you know. *rolls eyes*

    Where am I from? Well, I remain anonymous but I know some bloggers “offblog.” I usually develop a relationship with them that way–I don’t post where I am from other than the above on this Page–Canada.

    Why I admitted myself to hospital. I got laid off from my job over a year ago and have been under continual stress, health problems (basically my seizures have gotten way out of control but other sicknesses too) I have been self-medicating too much, a cascade of events over a week or two threw me over the edge (or close to it) so time to get to a safe place?

    I don’t mind sharing any of this. I mean god, this was my seventh hospitalization. I know the deal. Yours sounds like it was a real blast, though. Crikey!

    Wow! Thanks for the offer of sending me a pic. You’re sweet for doing that. I look forward to getting it!

    Okay, Mea Madison, onto your next comment.

    Please don’t worry about the brevity of your comment here. Actually, these long comments read more like emails, I think! Oh well, if people are reading them (I am seeing some views of this Page so people are!) they might be finding this interesting?

    Speaking of email…I think this should be discussed that way. You sounded like you wanted to talk but then you became reticent and distant.

    I don’t mind talking about things if you want to. However, this sounds like it may be a bit complicated so email might be better. Also, if it’s personal, you may feel more comfortable doing it that way?

    So, I’ll shoot you off an email and maybe we can start talking if you’d like, okay?

    x

    Like

  73. journey2balance

    I am VERY grateful I stopped by! And now I am headed to look around for a bit… take care!

    Like

  74. Hi journey2balance. Nice to meet you and welcome to my blog. Well, now. VERY grateful? *grinning and blushing* Thank you.

    I am VERY flattered! *laughing*

    Please feel free to look around and I hope you like what you see.

    You take care as well,
    PA

    Like

  75. Hey PA
    Just a quick hello back
    I also have a mixed bag of diagnoses they so far go…
    Aspergers? ADHD? Bipolar?
    they have no idea, lol
    I’m a psychologist and I don’t even have a clue.
    Nice to meet you anyway and I look forward to chatting to you

    Much love
    Izzi

    Like

  76. Hi Izzi. Good to hear back from you. Sounds like our brains could be lots of fun together, then! Maybe Dr. PA can help you get things sorted out. Couldn’t hurt? *grins*

    Thanks for the love and back,
    PA

    Like

  77. Greetings!

    I fell into your blog two nights ago and am STILL reading through the pages with only a brief break for a few hours of sleep! I’m a mother of a 14 y/o child who has every type of seizure there is – and then some? – and am fascinated by your details as she is unable to tell me anything about them. I hope you don’t mind but I have added you to my blogroll. Not sure how much traffic it will bring you as my blog is just in the beginning stages and receives very few visitors at this time. If nothing else, I can assure you I will be back! Thank you for sharing!

    Until next time…

    http://sylvestwalsh.wordpress.com

    Like

  78. Hi sylvestwalsh. Nice to meet you and welcome. But, oh my! Thank you so much. I am very flattered to hear you say that you are reading so much of my blog, but you shouldn’t sacrifice your sleep for it! I can assure you, my blog isn’t going anywhere! *laughing*

    Thank you very much as well for adding me to your blogroll, and I do not mind at all. Again, I am very flattered when people do so.

    Also, I don’t care about traffic or anything like that! I’m not into how many people read me or how popular I am! Yes, it does feel good to be recognized, I think we all can agree on that, but I’d rather people find something useful here. A lot of the time, I feel there’s more useless information in me moaning and groaning about my life, however!

    I’ve got you Bookmarked so I can check you out. I should try and think about bed. And so should you! Like I said, my blog isn’t going anywhere, so go to sleep, and then come back and read some more!

    Take care,
    PA

    Ah, I forgot to add re: the seizures. Email me any time if you want to talk about them or anything else. Please feel free.

    Like

  79. alas, yon

    Hi Patient Anonymous,
    I have enjoyed reading your blogs, and was curious regarding your diagnoses of BPAD II, ADD, epilepsy and migraine. Recalling Occam’s Razor, I was wondering if you’ve ever heard of Borderline Personality Disorder. It would certainly seem a better, unifying diagnosis.

    http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml

    Like

  80. Hi alas, yon. Nice to meet you and welcome to my blog. Thank you very much for saying you have been enjoying it. I so often do not know what to think of it, so feedback like that is very flattering. Quite.

    No, unfortunately there is no Ockham’s Razor for my brain! Or, for others’? However, many years ago when Bipolar seemed to be the only issue, they did consider a diagnosis of BPD. I met some of the criteria, but it was swiftly dismissed. Even I admit that I do fit some of the criteria, but here’s the rub. A lot of problems arise (so many!) due to symptom overlaps with mental health “conditions,” I will say for now. I will also toss in another “rub.” Too many physicians rush to make an incorrect, or inappropriate, diagnosis.

    It has taken me a long time to actually have all of my diagnoses properly addressed. So often, physicians would not listen to me. And thus, I needed to present them with some extremely clear and blatant examples of my history, plus accredited medical literature to support.

    There are some significant differences with my diagnoses, as well. ADD and Asperger’s are Developmental Disorders, meaning, you are born with them. In contrast, Bipolar is not. Nothing is for certain, but things are growing stronger and stronger for all three leaning toward a genetic predisposition. Very much so. I do have genetic history that may lean toward these diagnoses.

    As far as the Bipolar? The idea of a “trigger” setting the ball in motion? It generally tending to appear when people are in their early 20s? Difficult to say. It did for me.

    Overlaps. It’s ugly. ADD (or ADHD) can share a lot in common with some ways Bipolar manifests itself. This is why having a really good diagnostician is so important. It was another reason why I had to “prove” I had it and needed help!

    My Asperger’s? Wow. I couldn’t possibly write every single example I managed to remember from childhood to adulthood that were patently obvious. There were two to three pages of bullet points? Let me try to give you some examples, though, if you haven’t already read them.

    Banging my head with a pole and becoming non-verbal at the age of seven when trying to communicate. The “trying” part is key.

    Walking and counting my steps and if they got out of order, becoming extremely distressed. I had to turn around and start all over again. I was avoiding cracks in the pavement, too. A lot of repetition and OCD-like behaviour can be part of having Asperger’s.

    Significant “Object Attachment.” This is a distinct phenomenon if you are on the Spectrum and/or have Asperger’s. I became very distressed even at the age of four if I couldn’t have “my favourite spoon.” However, I had no way of expressing it, verbally or otherwise.

    I would not engage in “typical” ways of playing with other children. This would generally have to do with taking on certain roles and other things, but I would force myself because I wanted friends.

    However, otherwise I preferred to be alone and read–or play repetitive type games over and over and over…this would have been a form of me stimming. For example, driving little cars around a track for a couple of hours!

    Or, it would have to be a “practical” activity. Like building a tree house. I liked that because it was all very organized and planned. We each knew what we were going to do, and we did it.

    I won’t go on into later years or even how I behave now! *laughing*

    Also, epilepsy is neither a mental illness, nor a Developmental Disorder. I’ve had seizures since I was six years old. At least that’s when I first remember having them. Also, I have so many different types now. It’s just…wow.

    Although, one may come across something called a “Psychogenic Seizure.” Most people think that means someone is “faking it,” as it can also be written as a “Pseudoseizure.” No one is faking anything. Something is happening but it is just not “epilepsy.” The people will not respond to medication. The way to tell is if the person’s eyes are open or not. Studies have been done to show this with at least 95% accuracy.

    Also, they present as Complex Partials, in the vast majority of cases. They are psychological in origin, that is why no one is “faking” anything. But…just to make things more interesting, maybe up to 20% or people with epilepsy may have Psychogenic seizures? Again, overlap! These folks may be people with epilepsy and comorbid psychiatric issues. It’s so hard to tell!

    Migraines are also physiological. Plus, they can be misdiagnosed as epilepsy and vice versa. However, a migraine didn’t give me my tonic-clonic seizure! No, that was definitely my epilepsy.

    I also have PTSD. I can confirm that regarding a terrible flashback that I will not write about here. It is far too upsetting and violent. I had forgotten it altogether and it freaked me out so much…well, that is just how PTSD flashbacks can work.

    So, I hope you don’t think I am being rude here. Aspie apology. We are blunt and I think I did throw a hell of a lot at you in my comment back. I very much appreciate your comment to me. This blog is an open space and I’m happy to have anyone speak their mind. And I think you were just offering your opinion and me some insight and assistance. I also think that’s great.

    Take care,
    PA

    Like

  81. “My diagnoses are Bipolar II, ADD Inattentive Type, Asperger’s, Epilepsy, and Migraines. Yes, rather a full house? My brain is pretty complex. Loads of fun, I tell you! Never a dull moment?”

    Hey!
    I was searching google blogs for someone with something kind of in common with me- someone who might have a couple DXs in common with me maybe.
    I have been diagnosed with BP [I or II, depending on who you talk to-my older psychiatrist who I worked with for almost three years said I but my most recent one who I saw for a little over a year said II… “YOU make the call!”], Asperger’s/HFA/PDDNOS[again depending on who you talk to, which I find very strange, since it should be pretty clear cut, IMO], ADD and complex migraines.

    And some anxiety and ocd thrown in there for a little spice.

    Never a dull moment indeed.
    Thought I’d say hi, and I like this post.

    Like

  82. Hi L.RabbitGirl. Nice to meet you and welcome to my blog. I’m very flattered you liked my About Page. I find them the absolute worst things to create on a blog and dammit, it’s the first thing you have to do! *laughing*

    Well, I suppose you could be a real “rebel,” and say something like, “I’m just me, so don’t ask. If you leave a comment here, fuck off!” That might be another alternative.

    It is so strange about diagnoses, isn’t it. I always say it’s due to two things. The first being “clear cut” in its being so confusing *smirks* and the second being extremely clear cut due to M.D.’s being complete idiots (or just incompetent.)

    OMG. I need some tea. I just woke up. I almost typed “incontinent.” Well, hey! Maybe they’re “incontinent, incompetent” M.D.’s!

    Nonetheless, there are so many overlaps with disorders and illnesses that a lot of time, it’s really hard to tell what’s going on. Then, the doctors. You need someone with excellent diagnostic skills. Especially if the person doesn’t have a clue what is going on, themselves. Some patients are a lot more “aware” than others–even if it’s just explaining or describing their symptoms.

    As far as my Bipolar, I just wrote II as that was the official diagnosis given, but I’m really an Ultradian Tornado–about 24-48hrs. Very fast. I’ve blogged separately about all of the Ultradian stuff, no only episodically, topic-wise, but I think it’s also easier for people to find the posts that way via search engines.

    Now, as far as your Spectrum stuff, I’ve always argued back and forth, and forth and back, and all over, that so many things run on a “spectrum” (and also about the overlaps.) Even Bipolar being a spectrum (hence your BPI and BPII “controversy?”)

    But you with Asperger’s/HFA/PDD-NOS. Well, I can get ticked off with the “-NOS”‘s at times! PDD-NOS seems to me this “catch-all, toss in a bucket, we just don’t know what the hell to say, diagnosis.” Maybe that’s just it with “-NOS”‘s period, whatever the preceding letters.

    Granted, it does lean more toward Asperger’s, yet I feel lacks so much than what an Asperger’s diagnosis requires. I just did the fastest Google search ever, and found the term: “subthresthold” condition. Dr. PA is right?

    Although, not as far as the DSM-V is going to say! That goddamn book… PDD-NOS and Asperger’s are going to be taken out as formally named disorders, and put under umbrellas. Anyway.

    I still feel there are lines to be drawn (even if in some cases blurry) between Asperger’s and HFA. For sure. It’s still very complicated, but I agree with you. I see the differences between all three.

    Also, as of the date of this comment, I’m not really posting. I’m kind of taking a break. Still, feel free to wander around if you’d like. Obviously I’m still here and responding to comments.

    Take care,
    PA

    Like

  83. Lovely to meet ya :)

    I look forward to reading your posts

    Best wishes
    Gem x

    Like

  84. Hi Mental Fool. Or maybe I can say Gem, now? Yes, lovely to meet you too after your last comment.

    I’m just looking at your blog now and if my head won’t stop spinning from the damn time change, I’ll have to Bookmark it. Well, may have to do that anyway. I’m terribly behind in blog house cleaning.

    Take care,
    PA

    Like

  85. wish you could be my psychiatrist. Your blog is extensive and your posts reminds me of mine just more indepth, interesting, well put together, and well just great. Its nice to know I am not the only one out there like this. I would love eto hear what you think of my site if you ever get the chance.
    gl

    Like

  86. Hi diaryofamadanxietypatient. Oh, holy compliments. Thank you so much. *wee smile*

    I have you bookmarked, so yes, I would love to swing by when my head gets straightened out (hmmm…that may mean never.) Just kidding.

    I have so many people I need to look at and seriously fix up my blogroll. Then rebuild it and that will take who knows how long!

    I’m glad to hear that you don’t feel so alone by coming here. That is a primary purpose of this blog. Others are to make people feel safe, to be open, not be afraid to share, and definitely have a lot of fun!

    So, you wish Dr. PA to be your psychiatrist? Well, she’ll do what she can! *grins*

    Like

  87. Patient Anonymous, you and I share a few things in common. I too love to write. Like you, this is an avocation. I don’t make a living at it. I too have experienced anorexia, dissociative disorder, ptsd, and epislepsy. Yet these problems do not define me. I am rather defined by my strengths, including writing, music, and teaching. This is who I am.

    I have taken an alternative approach to dealing with my former psychiatric challenges. Depression, psychosis, and epilepsy have been managed with vitamin and mineral supplementation, also known as orthomolecular psychiatry. All three are history for me now.

    author Barbara altman, Cry Depression, celebrate Recovery, availalbe on amazon

    Like

  88. Hi again <altmanB@sbcglobal.net. I didn’t know we really did have so much in common. That’s cool. Well, in one way as so much of it sucks! *laughing*

    Orthomolecular Psychiatry, huh? I have no (uber-serious?) issues with homeopathic/naturopathic treatment for any type of illness, despite the (rather) strong stance I take with meds on my blog.

    One reason I am pretty pro-med is without mine, I would have been dead long ago, and not typing this response. I also believe heavily in science, and the rigorous testing of meds. However, don’t make the mistake that I am pro-Big Pharma, either! Not exactly.

    I only become concerned when people can get caught up with “knowledge” about certain “treatments” and then go running straight to their local Health Food Store. They start buying who knows what off the shelves, and that can be dangerous. I’ve found so many items one can buy in such a situation that are actually contraindicated for their mental health diagnoses!

    Quackery is also a burr under my saddle, or on top of it, or whatever. Something that causes me great pain in my ass! Be careful who you’re dealing with! They may have no clue, and on top of that, drain your bank account!

    If one chooses to venture into this territory, I believe a combined approach is best. Any naturopathic or homeopathic treatment that is to be done, should also be shared with one’s doctor/s. Everyone needs to be on board.

    Just my 535 cents. Oh, that would be two quarters, two dimes and a nickel! Oops. That’s wrong, isn’t it? Stupid Dyscalculia! *rolls eyes and shakes head*

    Take care,
    PA

    Like

  89. cheryl

    ok help me i was put on effexor for headaches and depression then lamictal addded along having sideeffects didnt know it first purple ras then sore throat white patches cant swollel bruising first sleepin aton then none four days freaked out paranoid sore swelled up loose cooordination and more went to hosp they put me on zyprexia klonopin seroquel resipdal ativan effexxor tell me im bipolar now what

    Like

  90. Hi cheryl. Nice to meet you and welcome to my blog. I’m a little confused by your comment, I must admit.

    However, I’ll try my best to say something here. I’m not aware of Effexor being prescribed for headaches. Depression, yes.

    It sounds like you had a significant reaction to the Lamictal. So very good to no longer take that med.

    Now, you seem to be on quite a lot of meds! And multiple in-class!

    Three Atypicals, two Benzos and one AD. At the end, are you saying you are Bipolar, or are you asking me if you are Bipolar? Before you said you were prescribed Effexor for Depression.

    Dr. PA (as always) is not a real doctor, but I’m quite stunned, by your cocktail. If you are in fact Bipolar, what you are taking is definitely not front line treatment. ACs are–or should be!

    If you could share more as to why they were prescribed, more about your health, any other meds you’ve been on, I might be able to say more.

    Take care,
    PA

    Like

  91. Hi janeybgood. Welcome to my blog and a most humble thank you for your compliment.

    I love what you said about your epilepsy. *laughing so hard* That is very high up there on list for people hating it. I’ll remember it for sure.

    A pleasure to meet you,
    PA

    Like

  1. 1 The Dry Heaving Horror Show Back In Row Thirty « …salted lithium.

    […] is the shape I was in when I met Patient Anonymous for the first time — which I’ll write about […]

    Like

  2. 2 Suddenly people | …salted lithium.

    […] once met the always spectacular ‘Patient Anonymous’ for ice cream in a downtown Toronto restaurant. I had just gotten off a five hour bus ride […]

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