Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category
I think that says it all.
Although, we could add “Reader’s Cement Truck Pouring Block.” That seems quite reasonable.
But what’s even worse; even more pathetic and frustrating, is that I could “cheat” (or actually beat) my loss of creativity. How? This is where it really hurts.
I could write Posts about some things I’ve done in the past. These things that allow for very simple continuation. Or, they would just simple on their own.
I’ve even written things down! Kind of. So, does that mean I’m only some per centage of getting sucked into the Cement…sand? Uhhh… I just lost my truck of thought…
Am I going to show up on Twitter using WP now? Now? Now? Now? Immediately after I finish typing? Now? Now? N…
After being Referee at the longest, most painful Technological Boxing Match, ever?
Now? Now? Now?
Painful, due to them both pummeling the hell out of the Referee. That was me, remember?
Here we go, you shitbag apps.
Quite easily, appently. As of November, this stupid, damn, insane Blog has managed to exist for 10 stupid, damn, insane years. o_O
I have no idea what to say about that. Well, I suppose I could shout out strings of profanity that make no sense. However, that doesn’t feel so celebratory. You would just find a lot of it here.
Right now, it’s like my Blog isn’t even here. Or it’s made of lace. Or who knows what?
Maybe it’s some kind of dormant monster that’s been waiting to sink its teeth into me. The last thing I’ll see, is the Grim Reaper leaning against my doorway, enjoying a Cuban.
Cigar, that is.
Stranger things could happen. Like me in the Blogosphere for 10 years.
I think I’ve used that before. When things have gone sideways, pear shaped, become frozen, completely imploded, people have been stalking me, I’ve been stalking me and many other things.
Here’s a new one. I’m now visually impaired to some degree, so forget using my Mac. Even tiny mobile screens can become brutal.
“Visually Impaired?” you ask.
Modus diagnosis operandi is Continual Migraines. Shrapnel in my brain, from being admitted to hospital for a Stroke. That was a year ago. Except it wasn’t a Stroke. It just sure as hell looked like one!
So it was probably a TIA then. They can present almost exactly the same way. The primary distinction is no damage or insults to the brain, whereas a Stroke generally shows something when you look at any/all parts of it.
Plus YOU can show a lot after a Stroke.
Well, my brain’s been insulted a lot. By seizures, falls, people telling me I’m stupid, and yes, prior migraines. However, this is a different braingame. Too much.
Migraines can mimic Strokes and TIA’s so I probably didn’t have one of those either. It was “The Migraine Heard Around the World.”
I’m not kidding. I’ve been through a lot of funky medical experiences but this? It was beyond belief. Surreal. My head really did explode. Okay, it didn’t but at the time…you get it. And my eyes. Psychedelic and black vision.
Try to imagine that.
Now, blurry, photophobia, pain cognitive impairment. So, sunglasses, don’t push using my eyes, dimenhydrinate, new med (Beta-blocker Propranolol) and cane.
Now back to my Blog after that fun stuff.
This whole Blog has turned to shit. I honestly think this is the lowest of the low. It’s never been as bad as this.
I don’t have the imagination to imagine conjuring a beginning to begin fixing it. Much less time. The first thing would be my Blogroll.
How many old and dead Blogs are lined up there like ratty, teenage socks, hanging out to dry but they’ll always reek? No doubt more than I already know.
Then, replacements. I’ve met so many great people with amazing Blogs out there. However, due to “Technical Errors” (i.e. I’m a fucking idiot) I never filed them along with my others.
“Look and Feel?” Oh, bloody hell. Just the thought of it makes me feel nauseous. And since I’m sick I’m already nauseous!
The plopping of my current template into (better said ONTO) another template can make you want to heave, simply by looking at it. Run away horrified too.
I haven’t shut everything thing down after so many easy (and difficult) situations. That must mean something. Perhaps the fact, that it’s actually not the lowest of low after all.
Are they still called that or can we just put a blanket name of “Snobby Pretentious Useless Fucktards” over them?
I’m in my old stomping grounds. Old friend and I had lunch and hang time until got my hair done. After, I popped into the coolest pub I’ve ever seen in the city. Not that I’ve seen them all, but this is cool without trying to be. And for other reasons.
Sure it’s a pub but families come here ALL THE TIME. Reference to time? There’s a five-year-old here, well past bedtime, but he’s surrounded by lots of responsible family members.
Call some kind of Family Services Agency? I say no. If anything happened, every single person would be right on it to help.
But that’s a little heavy duty and strays from this Establishment’s Coolness. And the baby blanket people I hate. Misplaced Gentrification as well, but let’s not bother with that now.
This place has managed to combine pieces of historical politics, art, pop culture and more all over the place. It’s a crazy amalgam, but totally awesome MUSEUM.
It’s like a puzzle when you first look at it. Totally overwhelming. But give yourself and your eyes a chance to relax and you’ll be amazed. Everything will fit.
Or it won’t. But it will somehow. Just look. That’s art.
Music? Some Live Bands. Otherwise, great music that will be up tempo, down tempo, reggae, more that will just make you feel relaxed and… HAPPY!
So I’m outside having a cigarette and I see this couple, could they be more bewildered, asking, “What is thi…do they serve foo…”
I replied, “It’s a really awesome pub. Go in. And they serve foo…”
They turned their heads and marched away before I could show them the menu on the window.
Good thing they walked away. They should have been turned away.
I’m exhausted. Both my head and my body need a serious break.
Two new drugs. Side effects. One of the two pulled for several reasons. The last drug to treat the problems. The problems are still there. The drug is new so who knows what will happen. You’ve just started the drug, so you need more time to see if it works, and the side effects go away.
I DEFINITELY needed a break the day my uterine biopsies were done. My OB/GYN did them last week.
Although, before I continue, this Post might be a bit much for the squeamish. So consider yourself WARNED.
It was the second most painful procedure I’ve gone through in my entire life. The first being the insertion of a urinary catheter while just lying on an examining table. The Doctor put it in faster than completing the sentence:
“Okay, this is going to hurt a bit.”
I screamed at such massive decibels. I still wonder to this day if I didn’t scare the hell out of all the other women in the waiting room. Or perhaps, only dogs could hear me.
I don’t remember if any women were in the waiting room. I was like 18 tornados trying to find the exit doors when everything was done. This was for ongoing UTI’s.
I have no clue what my OB/GYN was doing for her biopsies. However, I can say she’s thorough? Holy shit. Or holy blood?
I have a new Fibroid, the lining of my uterus is fuller, thicker etc. Basically, a lot more blood and tissue for an egg to implant, but not good as my Fibroids are taking up space there too.
The biopsies, though? They’ll be benign. THEY.
I could “feel” her almost slicing me up all over the place!!! Not like a simple “Punch Biopsy.” Those are like a small poke. You feel like you’ve just been vaccinated with a large needle.
After we were done, she told me quickly, “Move up the table. Move up the table. I don’t want to get any blood floor.”
Like I said, she must be…thorough?
She told me to relax, take my time, I did a great job (she said that as we were doing it, I could take a break.) It took me so long to actually move, then clean up, then try to get dressed…they actually sent a nurse to check on me.
Ah, I love Medicine! I wonder what my hysterectomy will be like?
My OB/GYN is lovely though. Only two things to note for the anaesthetist:
1. Not to be picky, but if you’re thinking about Propofol? It makes me sick. Midazolam, please?
Granted, those were only for less invasive things I’ve had done. Still, no Propofol in your Alchemy.
2. DO NOT forget I’m on Propranolol. I’d like to wake up after surgery.
Just mentioned on Twitter that I’ve got WP back up and running on my mobile. Hopefully more Posts soon?
I’m just starting Propranolol. Been a month now and the side effects are kicking my ass off. However, in a good way? Like I’m trippin’ out on significant levels of Opiates.
I’m still feeling pretty gonzo with my second dose. I’m 40mg bid now. NOTE: Update Meds Page.
Later. It can wait. I took my second dose not long ago.
Why Propranolol? Based upon a fairly educated guess, I’m now dealing with chronic migraines. It can be used for prevention. Maybe kicked off from when I had every sign of a Stroke, and was chucked into hospital last summer.
Wow! This is a bit of a Post! Writing it when I feel like I’m in between being on Morphine and Heroin.
Not that I’ve done Heroin. Am I spelling it correctly? Have I slept with a Heroine? Do I need one? Holy crap! Damn straight I do! *laughing*
No, I’ve just talked to people who have used it and what it was like for them; what they experienced. Did I ever find out what some people can experience!
Utterly fascinating! I realized why so many people could become addicted to it.
I’ll also say it’s utterly fascinating why I’m getting stoned out my mind. Well, it is to me because I really get off on Pharmacokinetics.
I’ve gone through every med I take and found the answer. Plus extra stuff which is just icing on the cake.
Super-awesome Post to write, but hells bells no, not now! I can’t even handle this screen anymore.
Although it has not been scientifically proven, Bedbugs do not cause headaches. However, they do cause an allergic reaction through biting. Or, rather by infusion and extraction. It’s really interesting but it can totally suck. Because I get bitten like crazy.
They have two dastardly needles to stab you in sequence. The first is an anaesthetic; the second is then used to draw your blood.
Quite compassionate little Vampires? I think not!
So I’m starting to unpack some things in between doing my regular laundry and all of the clothes in my closet (which had to be done on the day of the TWO times of Pesticide Treatment.)
Well, the closet I couldn’t get done. I have a cane and very much needed now for some mysterious head injury. I was told I could do my closet within my own suitable time frame because I’m sick–from that and more.
And yet, I still can’t fathom ANYONE doing all of that!
I’m not a Clothes Whore (am I?) Well, I have a lot of nice stuff but if you’re Jewish, I also have a lot of schmatte. So, okay. I’m a Clothes Whore to some degree.
Fine. I’ll admit to “Labels” too.
Back to unpacking. For Treatment, put a lot of items in big garbage bags where Bedbugs might be hiding out. However, only certain things. This didn’t make any sense to me at all.
Why shove my suitcase that was in my closet, and not a big box of photographs, wide open, in the corner of a room? The corner was dark. My suitcase was closed up tight.
Which brings us to tonight. I had to bag two Bankers Boxes that were completely falling apart, full of documents. Now do you get the photos in the corner of the room idea?
Well, I have to unpack everything, so just like moving? Time to get rid of a lot of junk! Although I knew it would be a disaster… Bedbugs? Paper? Boxes nearly disintegrating?
I went out and bought a Paper Shredder, new Bankers Boxes, and let the fun begin! No fun.
I had to buy the cheapest Shredder and it can get jammed after about seven or eight pages! The bucket looks pretty big, but maybe “Spatially Challenged Me” somehow doesn’t “Get It.”
Or the Shredder is minutely, minute. A few sheets in, dump. A few sheets in…
But I think I “released” some of those pricks. Pun intended.
Bedbugs like blood. They’re drawn to it. Which is lovely when I have my period and THEY HAVE ME!!! I have to be so careful.
The Shredder doesn’t like any airborne (or other types) of chemicals. Oh, okay. I have black bags everywhere, nowhere to sit, how and…?
It became a combination of construction and surgery.
I had to block off all the white powder with bags to keep it from floating around? They like blood. Medical procedure gloves for paper cuts! A pair of tweezers and a little plastic container of water.
That last part? I know. Definitely, Dr. PA. Catch anything that might fall and plop!
That’s another secret to tell. If there are any problems with your mattresses and you’ve stripped away all of your sheets and bagged them too? Vacuum, as well?
If you have patience and a good eye?
I did the above but things didn’t “look” right. I saw very tiny black, spots that weren’t fluff or dust. Then a little RED one!
I started squishing them with my hands but that just resulted in more bites. Enter the (soon to be patented) “Tweezer Invention!”
Going through the paper, trying to catch stuff, it’s stirred something up. I’ve got some bites on my hand and wrist. But even after the Professional Treatment, they said to expect activity for a few days.
Don’t tell the neighbours.
An afterthought to my last Post “Forever Bullied.”
MOTHERSHIT PSYCHOPATH talks a lot of trash. It’s like backward primordial ooze but coming out of a Heroin Junkie’s Wormhole. Or some hole.
I could get her to pour her ooze out through her fists. C’mon small talker. I dare ya.
Here, when someone reports any type of assault, no matter how big or small, legal action does not hold between the parties involved. As soon as you make a telephone call, it’s immediately out your hands.
After that call, you might have completely wished you had never made that call. At all!
That’s because any assault reports are directly handled by the Police. You have no say, except for what happened. Then, they do a full investigation and prosecution for any and all charges are their decision.
What an evil thought. I know she’d be screwed though.
Oh, what an evil thought…