Archive for the ‘Linkbaiting’ Category


For the first time in my life, I’ve received more Tweet Notification Activity in numbers, than Comments on my Blog.

“Normally” that would be fine. 

However, I have over 100 or so people saying something about me saying something that I really didn’t think was something special at all.

It’s so, totally and obnoxiously fun, when you can take an amazing run-on sentence and hold it captive.  Make you do whatever you want it to, manipulate it as a Writer, even before the Random Note has been sent out? As long as you avoid Purple Prose.

Which that was.  I’m stunned A lot of Spam-A-Rama? I looked at my Inbox, briefly.  I’ve never been messed on Twitter before l figured who was trying to mess with me first.

*sighs*

Tired.

Just something to put up here because it’s such a massive contrast.  Which form of Social Media is beating up the other, you know?

They’re all going to see this on Twitter.  That’s even more of the crazy.

PA the AI should definitely become unplugged now.

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To start, Antique Technology! Yum.

I obviously go for cameras, being a photographer.  Stereos. Telephones. 

I had a fully functional 1960’s Nordmende.  It was a small console.  About the size of a very large night or table. Nothing on top of it.

The front? Holy crap.  Doubtful Ivory “Buttons.”  I say that word because heavy, large and a really strong punch to use them.

Oh.  Nordemende? Manufacturer from Germany if you didn’t know.

The “Buttons” had two functions.  They could select the Radio options for AM, FM, SW and LW.  Ahhh! Short Wave and Long Wave? Totally cool.

Even cooler for the Radio! Does anyone remember the “Magic Band” Tuning???

If you don’t know of it, a blue band would appear in a little window when you were tuning into a station.  Sometimes out of nowhere!  But that was the point. 

The line became skinnier and skinnier, then disappeared.  That  indicated you had received the best reception.  Sound too high tech for the era? Well, I won’t go into how bulb and tube works. *laughing*

I’m not done yet though! Turntable!

Below the Radio Area, there was a door you could open.  Voila! There it was.  Played 45, 33 and 78! Spindle, pin you could swap, auto or manual arm to move to the album.

There were three more “Buttons” by the Radio options.  They controlled different types of sound.  Just like iTunes gives you options for more bass, a dance environment or being in an Opera House.  There were only just three selections, that’s all.

Groovy, huh?

Phones? All kinds! I think this Post might be getting a bit long though.  I got pretty ramped up (amped up?) Sorry.  Groaner… about the Stereo.

Although, I will say I have found Antique Phones that have worked too!

More later on something not so old.  But still cool.  In a Dorky way.  Because I’m a Dork.  And a definite Geek!


I’m thinking of the wonderful person who left me the wonderful comment on my Post “Possible Departure.”  I’m also thinking of the new people I’m meeting now from the above hashtags on Twitter.

Can Dr. PA perform whatever surgery to reconnect her Blog causing the (best description) phantom limb pain? She’s not even sure what limb, or organ is affected.  And who’s to say there’s only one?

My personal writing is rather different than what you would see here.  Except possibly in style, in parts.  A smattering or splattering, here and there.

As far as my personal writing, I’ve got my fingers stuffed in every pie.  Apart from Screenplay which I would love.  I have a theatre background so I think it would be very fulfilling.
 
Otherwise, you name it, I’ve done it.  Or, have worked on and lost it, due to technological disasters–before a backup.  However, the main idea or ideas remained in my head.

I probably could have reconstructed it, like a five-year-old learning to tie their shoelaces for the first time.  Or maybe not.

I’d still give it a shot though.  If it became too troublesome and/or frustrating, I’d just stop and put it aside. 

That’s one thing I’ve learned.  If you still see one iota of potential in something you’ve set aside, even lost in a box, in an ancient notepad or on the floor under furniture *raises hand* NEVER throw it away.

Conversely, only you know what you’ve produced and where it came from.  I find (or feel) these are your most intimate pieces of work.  They are for me.  They are my poems.

It depends, but sometimes I can look at a poem I’ve written and immediately know it carries zero value whatsoever.  Others are like a rating system.  Like when you are at an intersection? Red, Yellow, Green…

What about environment? Well, it’s kind of odd for me.  I’ll start simply with either silence or a lot of sound.  Loud! Or just background, useless loops.

I have Asperger’s and ADD.  This is where things get a little strange.  I have some Auditory Processing Issues with my Asperger’s.  That might account for the various sounds I “automatically choose” to hear. 

The ADD! Indeed, you would think I could not focus that well? It might prove difficult to write? Yes, that happens.

There is another side to it though.  I can hyperfocus to extreme degrees on subjects that very much interest me.  A bomb blast next to me could happen and I wouldn’t have a clue.  And actually, the Asperger’s falls in line with that as well.

So, it’s somewhat comforting to know my rather complicated brain (more diagnoses) is good in a somewhat, somehow kind of way. *laughing*  Nah, my nutty bean comes in handy for other things too.

Well, I guess that’s some info about my writing and how I try to accomplish more than bogroll.  I find it hard to keep up with a lot of the time, but it’s still there.

Plus, there is no such thing as a lonely writer.  You have two awesome friends that will never leave your side.  A Dictionary and a Thesaurus.


I mentioned on Twitter that it might, might be time for me to hang up my Blogging Hat.  Or, to say stop my Blogging Hands.  That would be more appropriate.

It’s not an ongoing, forever-we-experience, Blogging Crisis.  It’s not Writer’s Block.  I could think of many things to write about.

Things have changed.  Some that are easy(ier) to explain, some I don’t know if I can, but I’ll try.  Some I don’t even know if I can explain to me!

My Blog has been up for nine years.  I don’t know how long any measurement that means.  In terms of living, averages of any kind, but that’s pretty irrelevant, I think.

I mentioned the word, “living.”

Are Blogs really living entities? I believe the answer is a very firm, no.  We MAKE them living entities.

I made an analogy on Twitter as well, regarding the “feelings” between both my Blog and me, as a person.  I said, “I feel like I have phantom limb pain.”

It’s true.  Something has been severed.  The “living entity” I have created, that which was so connected to me…  It’s not anymore…  But to what degree, and even what part of my body, I do not know…yet.

Despite still writing a bit more, I have been tremendously unhappy with my Blog.  The beginning of things being severed? There were times I couldn’t even look at it.  Now, things seem so, terribly disjointed and I can’t fix them.

I definitely don’t expect you to understand that last sentence!

Does reading my Blog make me cry? *laughing* Of course not! It’s my life!

Thinking about my life might make me cry, but my entire life isn’t on my Blog.

The only times I’ve cried reading my Blog was years ago.  I would receive these Comments from utter strangers.  They would pour their hearts out to me and tell me I literally saved their lives.

I would sit and bawl my eyes out.  Why me? Who am I? I didn’t say anything? It took a LONG time to respond to people like that! But they were few.  I’m not being egotistical.

I write a lot about having no life.  Well, I do.  We all do.  Perhaps not as we’d always like it, but you can’t escape the fact.

How many hours have I Blogged, read other Blogs, spent time on Twitter when that came along later.  How about all day and all night?

At the time it felt just fine.  Really? Not so really. 

That’s not healthy.  I mean, for me it isn’t.  It’s an unhealthy escape.  Too easy to muck about when I need to focus on getting myself at least somewhat together.  Also, that “somewhat” is just a start.

How long has it been since I really got into my own writing? I mean really got into it? I have SO many unfinished projects, I haven’t sent any Submissions to anyone in ages. *sighs*

Am I done? I sure feel done.  This Post has been exhausting to write.  Difficult, too.  Don’t cry, PA!

*teardrops*

But for now, I’m still here.  I haven’t made a final decision. 

Maybe Dr. PA can perform some surgery on both sides; to mend herself and reattach what she brought to life and into this world.


This is funny.  My Mom’s birthday is November 28.  I emailed her in a panic last night apologizng for forgetting it “yesterday.”

Of course I got an email back saying, “…” Uh, huh.  That’s actually the first time I’ve ever pre-forgot something.

I also forget my own birthday.  Then it happens.  Then I forget that I’ve aged another year for six months.  I keep telling everyone I’m my prior age than how old I really am.

This is NOT a joke, a lie, no shorn sheep over eyes!

So I (sort of) remembered this. November.  THE INCARNATION.  And I got the day right!

This is basically a “tradition” in the world of Blogging–at least for some?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BLOG!

This crazy, ridiculous, ranty, stupid and hopefully helpful THING.

I CANNOT BELIEVE.  If this Blog is completely senseless, it’s NOTHING compared to me being so utterly senseless at how long…? Nine Years.

Seriously.  Seriously?

SERIOUSLY.

I have a feeling it will make it to 10.  With so much more rambling (as always.)

Thanks for reading, everyone out there.  It’s all about you! Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here.

Cheers,
PA


It took me a while to figure this out. 

If you feel like something is wrong with your health, have a diagnosis where you need help because things are a bit unstable.  What should you ALWAYS do?

Track things! Get a calendar, mark things down like a journal and monitor every and all changes! It doesn’t matter how small.

There were so many variables that took me so long.  The largest being my head such a disaster.  Head injuries can, to whatever degree, turn you into a wreck.  I still have both retrograde and anterograde amnesia from one.

A few episodes happened when I was discharged, but I didn’t clue in to write down dates.  They also just resolved with time.  Not a lot of time either.  Maybe two hours at most, and they were hardly as intense as before.

Everyone was still so focussed on a stroke at first, waiting for me to get my MRI, see its results…  That was going to take a month or more

Recently, I had two other episodes. They were one day after the other.  I certainly need to journal or track that!

The second one wouldn’t resolve after five hours, and was almost as bad as the one that sent me to hospital originally in July.

I finally broke down and went to hospital as I just couldn’t stand it anymore.  Yes, I am a VERY stubborn patient.  Don’t be like me!

I hadn’t thrown up like the first time, but guess how the Paramedics found me? Hunched down down on my knees with my head hung over the the toilet bowl. 

They gave me this traveling vomit bag.  It wasn’t completely a bag though.  It had a cardboard “box” at the top.  It was shaped like a Chinese Food Take Away Carton.

No offense to my Asian readers, here.  I mean it.  However, I couldn’t hold back from making a joke to one Paramedic and say, “This is what they give you when you have too much Chinese Food and it makes you sick.”

I was taken to a different hospital. Now, to treat the symptoms and “make me more comfortable” even though I was dying in pain.  Are you kidding me? 

Although, I actually passed out.  Are you seriously kidding me?

IV Fluids.  Standard.  IV Toradol which is an anti-nauseant.  I’ve had it before and it’s made me feel nice and floaty, but never knocked me out! Are you curiously kidding me?

Some other thing strung up and pumped into me.  I can’t remember what it was so maybe that doped me.  Are you illegally killing me?

Finally some Steroid. It was shot in liquid form, into my mouth via a syringe.  Are you weirdly killing me?

It was for “Rebound Pain” over 72 hours.  Okay.  Now you are RIDICULOUSLY AND STUPIDLY KILLING ME!

This is the best hospital in our city.  I want to go there ALL the time.  It’s only that they didn’t know the history (now irrelevant) and how to treat me properly (now irrelevant.)

Although, I will be going back to an EYE CLINIC they have there.  Yes, Clinic.  Not just some Dr. Who Knows.  I think even a Neuro Opthamologist.  Awesome!

Does anyone out there remember my TASE? Typical Absence Status Epilepticus? If you don’t, you can search for the Horror Show on the rest of my Blog.

It was catamenial.  That means, to do with your Menstrual Cycle and even days surrounding it.  I was lucky enough to have ditto for Ovulation.

Well, now I’m having the same with migraines.  I’m on my period now and those two one day after another? That second one where I had to go back to hospital?

Nothing has cleared up yet.

With this now in mind, I can EASILY track all the others from dates of my cycles.

This is a disaster.  More than.  Sweetie GP has been on vacation for the month of August.  I have an appointment soon.  She’ll probably agree with me:

WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO YOUR NEW GYNECOLOGIST FOR THAT PARTIAL HYSTERECTOMY NOW!!!

No kidding.  I have to stop getting my period! Moreover, I won’t even bring my anemia and how bad that is into all of this.

Also, Non-Arsey Neuro is going to call me as he’s away for a bit now too.  Stupid Summer Vacations! *laughing*

I will be suffering for a long time.  None of this will be resolved anytime soon.

I have to try for some kind of stopgap.  My Triptans can’t handle this.  I’m going to ask him about Ergotamines.  They might be VERY good for this in terms of how they work.  The dose schedule, no contraindications or med interactions for me.

Another neat thing about some is they can ease menstrual flow.  But I don’t know if that would happen for me at too high a dose.

There is a specific Ergot derivative to do this actually! It’s called “Ergometrine.”  However, it’s not used to treat migraines

So, that’s that. 

I think this needs to be handled ASAP.  If these migraines are bad enough to give a stroke presentation, and they will continue to happen on a regular basis? What (else) might they be doing to my brain?

I already have so many comorbidities.  Right now I’m living in a perpetual state of a very significant TBI. One that already affects so much of my daily functioning. 

It also does bring out features of my other comorbidities now that I think of it.  Absolutely.

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Please refer to Post written directly after this one.

Well, I still don’t know what to say about Girlie Intern.  I was crying uncontrollably on the phone because that’s just what happens. 

Losing control of your emotions, that is.  Although not always over the phone.  It’s a strange feeling.  A bloody, fucking, awful feeling.

I had actually been crying all day long.  Under non-TBI conditions, I wouldn’t have cried discussing a confusing medical issue.  I wouldn’t be crying the whole day…

…unless…?

Somewhere through a half a box of tissues, I realized something familiar.  Oh, this feels like a TOTAL Aspie Meltdown!!!

There’s also another comparison.  You can feel frustrated and REALLY agitated.  So you can end up stimming all over. 

Well, I pretty much actually do it having Asperger’s.  Non-Spectrum-non-NT and NT folks? You might get a taste of our stimmy behaviour and not even know it!

Girlie Intern was actually pretty empathetic when I banged my Ace on the table.

“Have you ever worked with patients who have had really bad TBI’s?”  I don’t think it was much of an Ace considering I was bawling all over.

She had and understood that I had a total setback today.  And I mean TOTAL, TOTAL, TOTAL!!!!!!!

Oh, dear.  I am serious though.  I feel like I was just discharged from hospital yesterday.  And so it goes with TBI’s and/or head injuries that may just need some time to heal.  Or others that are more serious requiring some kind of intervention for healing.

*sighs*

This Post needs some intervention for healing, because I’m just rambling with half a head holding a broken compass.

LET’S UP THE STAKES!!! I WILL NOT PROOF THIS BEFORE I POST IT!!!

WHOO HOO!!! *laughter all around my apartment*

So anydoodle, Girlie Intern confirmed it was the right Doctor who was to order it. 

However, points for me who tipped her off to the Neurological portions of the MRI and I didn’t think it was right.  She said it was good I was paying attention!

N’yah!

She’s going to confirm that everything is right, other areas should be done? Etc.

She still wants my bloods.  Before our appointment in five days.  When I can’t get out on my own.  While there’s also a weekend in the middle there.

BUT… she also said and knows the whole roller coaster of head injuries and a TBI that’s pretty heavy duty like mine.  Thus, the only option she had for me was rest, rest, rest.

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“If it looks like a…if it quacks or whatever sound…if it…”

How many people out there have had experience(s) with strokes? Have even had one themselves? I’m finally getting around to writing about this.  Wraparound sunglasses that wraparound my glasses too!

Most convenient and necessary.  I’ve also had to really increase the View on babyMacAir.  The letters looked like ants on a page.

Also, not for Photophobia.  To me, that seems rather odd.

The sunglasses and a fabric eyeshade that allows virtually no light, are used for use and recovery of too much use! Sometimes I don’t, or won’t know how much I’ve used my eyes the day before.  I’ll only find out by the degree of headache I have?

I’m getting one now as I woke up well before sunset when I’d rather be still sleeping or fine with being up now.  Although I’d rather keep the post-TBI (and definitely mine!) out of this Post.

So I was at home watching TV (or it was on) and looking at something on my mobile.  I wasn’t doing anything special and WHAM! I was seeing so many versions of everything, it was like I couldn’t see.  Quadruple Vision?

NOTE: Before you go any further into seizure thinking, hang on for the rest I have to tell you.  Also, I have never even been close to having a photogenic seizure.  Also again, if you don’t know, strokes can happen instantly to anyone–babies to the elderly.

FIN.

I am probably one of the hugest Emetephobes on the planet. Emetephobia means fear of throwing up.  Mine came from my mother, who cared only about anything in the house becoming soiled.

Heaven forbid you have a sick child who might barf–on a kitchen floor that wasn’t even carpeted! So fear was instilled.  Now I have to become violently ill to throw up.  Extremely sick or something wrong.  Well, the latter implies the former.

Sorry.  (Possibly) Stroke Me can’t think very well right now.

Then, I felt it coming.  Oh, god.  Oh, GOD!!!

How many of us have had THAT experience? *laughing*

Trying to run to the bathroom when you just know you’re going to toss your cookies! No bowls, buckets.  

No cheeks either.  It has to remain in your stomach.  If it comes up to fill your cheeks? You’ll have an unbelievable geyser all over the room–and be thankful your mother wasn’t mine.

So, after Crazy Vision I started to sweat.  A lot.  But that calmed down when I got really weak and tried to avoid a geyser.  I made it to the bathroom.

The weakness was not bilateral.  But “Stroke Bilateral Weakness” is a bunch hooey! Depending upon what’s going on and where, you can be weak all over!

I didn’t know how weak I was, what side, all of me, but I do know it was too far to crawl back to my bed to call 911 (or 999 in certain countries.)  People, my living is pretty small.

Nonetheless, bathroom closest to hallway to knock on neighbour’s door.  Crawl across hallway, throw up again.  This time some blood in it.  Not occult, although a fair sized chunk of either blood or tissue that was tan-like in colour.  That is for any Professionals out there?

The red is just a tear somewhere? Or part of…  Occult is bad, although that is for other organs–not specifically my brain.  If it were, only an embolism would be capable of destroying things all over.  That said, I could or would be dead right now? This happened on July 21, 2005

Okay, on with the rest of the show.

My voice and speaking ability.  Total mess! The woman could hardly understand me to figure out to call 911.  The Paramedics couldn’t understand me because they asked if she lived in my place.  No. But she’s trying to find what they needed.

Mumbly, mumbly, mumbly! How many hours until I could speak again? I have no clue.  Also, post-TBI but have no memory of dealing with Doctor in ER.  Have the notes and I laughed out loud at how I was acting and what I was saying.

I couldn’t even tell him what brought me there! I was going on about prior medical problems that were totally irrelevant.  I clearly had no cognitive capacity to engage in conversation about anything! And again, what brought me there!

I had to wait for a bed on the medical floor.  I don’t know how long.

Oh, yes.  The worst of it all is I wanted to rip out everything from my eye sockets from the pain! I was in so much PAIN!!! Rip every piece of tissue out of those sockets until there are only black holes left!!!

This is getting pretty long.  I’ll save the hospital stuff.  I’m getting really tired too.  I need to rest.  All I do, but I finally have my MRI Scheduled! I hope they find something.

Not to sound whiny but it’s not pleasant.  Housebound, alone, feeling sick…yeah, okay.  Whatever.  A lot of others have it a lot worse and they’re really happy.  I should shut my yap!

Tell me what you think my readers.  I won’t tell you the number of other people that have told me what.

CODA: 20+ years of First Aid and CPR Training might have really helped me here.  If I didn’t know any better, I could have just slept it off, see how I feel in the morning.  How about you feel nothing because you’re dead.  Whether you had a stroke or not.

Everyone, if you EVER feel sick or off and you don’t know what it is. But something feels wrong.  Listen to your body and not your head!

And go straight to the ER.

FIN.


Which is a good thing and a bad thing.  It’s easier to type now (still slowly) but I can use WordPress better.  Terrible on my phone.

However, all the new people I Followed on Twitter? I have to go find their Blogs and put them in my file with everyone else’s. That will be a lot of work.

Then we need to talk about this whole, “Me Having a Stroke” or whatever etc. issues.

And the bright light of a computer.  Even set on the lowest possible end for brightness? It’s still making my eyes, and radiating, ocular area of my head, scream like you could hear from this Post–what country where you live is irrelevant.  My screaming will be equally loud across the globe.

Wait.

Dammit! I should have used all of that FOR writing the Post about the stroke crap! Oh, well.

When you have a head injury, no matter what type, you’re a little off you’re game.  Or sometimes A LOT.

Which is where I am now.  I sometimes don’t know if I’ve used my eyes too much the day before.  That’s when I wake up wanting to scratch my eyeballs out of my head (but we’ll get to that later.  It’s not so bad now.

I forgot I bought a pair of wraparound sunglasses that fit over my glasses so a very good solution when I need to do things requiring light.  Then, long periods of the black blindfold just eyes closed.

I need some tea now.  Wake up a bit and put the groovy shades on because it’s a lovely summer day.  Too bad I can’t enjoy it! Brief and very safe walking with the cane.  Maybe I could sit outside on my patio but I always try to read!

That is MASSIVE eye work! Even “looking around?” And it’s not photophobia.  That’s the weird thing.  Dark, and protective vision for pain, but not for brightness.

There’s something wrong with my head.  I’ve even got it on paper when I was admitted that an MRI was to be done for a stroke.

Okay, in a really messed up way, you know some of what’s going on? Next, I’ll try and run you through everything that happened.  It’s Classic Stroke Behaviour.  Or something like it.

See ya.


Sorry.  Not a very catchy title.  Blame the migraine (and Maxalt – my triptan of choice.)  I’m actually turning my mobile at a weird angle for the photophobia.

OMG.  What am I doing??? I want to write something because I’m ticked off, but I’m waiting for the Migraine Murderous Reaper to come knocking on my door–not some courier with a belated birthday gift.

I’ll get back to this.  Post-Postdrome.

Sorry, but thanks?