Archive for the ‘Migraines’ Category
I think I’ve used that before. When things have gone sideways, pear shaped, become frozen, completely imploded, people have been stalking me, I’ve been stalking me and many other things.
Here’s a new one. I’m now visually impaired to some degree, so forget using my Mac. Even tiny mobile screens can become brutal.
“Visually Impaired?” you ask.
Modus diagnosis operandi is Continual Migraines. Shrapnel in my brain, from being admitted to hospital for a Stroke. That was a year ago. Except it wasn’t a Stroke. It just sure as hell looked like one!
So it was probably a TIA then. They can present almost exactly the same way. The primary distinction is no damage or insults to the brain, whereas a Stroke generally shows something when you look at any/all parts of it.
Plus YOU can show a lot after a Stroke.
Well, my brain’s been insulted a lot. By seizures, falls, people telling me I’m stupid, and yes, prior migraines. However, this is a different braingame. Too much.
Migraines can mimic Strokes and TIA’s so I probably didn’t have one of those either. It was “The Migraine Heard Around the World.”
I’m not kidding. I’ve been through a lot of funky medical experiences but this? It was beyond belief. Surreal. My head really did explode. Okay, it didn’t but at the time…you get it. And my eyes. Psychedelic and black vision.
Try to imagine that.
Now, blurry, photophobia, pain cognitive impairment. So, sunglasses, don’t push using my eyes, dimenhydrinate, new med (Beta-blocker Propranolol) and cane.
Now back to my Blog after that fun stuff.
This whole Blog has turned to shit. I honestly think this is the lowest of the low. It’s never been as bad as this.
I don’t have the imagination to imagine conjuring a beginning to begin fixing it. Much less time. The first thing would be my Blogroll.
How many old and dead Blogs are lined up there like ratty, teenage socks, hanging out to dry but they’ll always reek? No doubt more than I already know.
Then, replacements. I’ve met so many great people with amazing Blogs out there. However, due to “Technical Errors” (i.e. I’m a fucking idiot) I never filed them along with my others.
“Look and Feel?” Oh, bloody hell. Just the thought of it makes me feel nauseous. And since I’m sick I’m already nauseous!
The plopping of my current template into (better said ONTO) another template can make you want to heave, simply by looking at it. Run away horrified too.
I haven’t shut everything thing down after so many easy (and difficult) situations. That must mean something. Perhaps the fact, that it’s actually not the lowest of low after all.
Just mentioned on Twitter that I’ve got WP back up and running on my mobile. Hopefully more Posts soon?
I’m just starting Propranolol. Been a month now and the side effects are kicking my ass off. However, in a good way? Like I’m trippin’ out on significant levels of Opiates.
I’m still feeling pretty gonzo with my second dose. I’m 40mg bid now. NOTE: Update Meds Page.
Later. It can wait. I took my second dose not long ago.
Why Propranolol? Based upon a fairly educated guess, I’m now dealing with chronic migraines. It can be used for prevention. Maybe kicked off from when I had every sign of a Stroke, and was chucked into hospital last summer.
Wow! This is a bit of a Post! Writing it when I feel like I’m in between being on Morphine and Heroin.
Not that I’ve done Heroin. Am I spelling it correctly? Have I slept with a Heroine? Do I need one? Holy crap! Damn straight I do! *laughing*
No, I’ve just talked to people who have used it and what it was like for them; what they experienced. Did I ever find out what some people can experience!
Utterly fascinating! I realized why so many people could become addicted to it.
I’ll also say it’s utterly fascinating why I’m getting stoned out my mind. Well, it is to me because I really get off on Pharmacokinetics.
I’ve gone through every med I take and found the answer. Plus extra stuff which is just icing on the cake.
Super-awesome Post to write, but hells bells no, not now! I can’t even handle this screen anymore.
Someone might be checking me out now. Looking at my blog to find out more about me. I’m not sure.
But that’s okay. In fact, it’s great! I want you to know me!
However, if you are looking at my Blog and checking me out, know that I am SO much more than these words.
If you are reading, I hope you see this. If you took a look and don’t come back? I’ll be so mad of not thinking of this sooner!
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I was talking about Bedbug Treatment earlier. They run like crazy through our vents so if one person can get them, in can be a bloody Five Alarm Pesticide Fire for the rest of us.
Due to this “New and Improved” (I love that oxyMORON) the MORONS around here are making us wash our entire living spaces. And I don’t mean that annoying Febreeze™ commercial. I mean it for real.
It’s even more fun because I live in a Bachelor. Not at least a one bedroom.
Anything you can imagine putting in a washer and dryer to clean, we (I) have to do it. Alright, a wee dose of sarcasm, BUT NOT THAT WEE!
Afterward, secure tightly in a garbage bag for Pest Control Treatment. Which I find yet another thing oxyMORONIC.
I doesn’t hurt my other valuables that I would NEVER put in a washer and dryer. Like my BOSE WAVE III. So, if they’re worried about Bedbugs in every single stitch of our clothes, linens, every piece of fabric that touches us, why do we have to launder it over and over?
So here’s what I want to know.
It doesn’t affect stuff on bedside tables, art on walls, books, CDs and DVDs, Televisions, dishes that might be out because you didn’t get a chance to wash them all yet, food in cupboards, misc. things on shelves, blinds, curtains, any kitchen appliances…
Well, why the hell don’t you just leave all the fabric stuff out in the open and have it all sprayed too!
Oh, and on Tuesday they’re treating my place for ants and mice. However, we have “special ants.” They’re called Pharaoh Ants. Very easy to deal with.
They like water, so just keep any damp areas wiped dry. Then they go away.
Although, they can be Techie Ants too. I’ve found them skirting around my Laptop screen when using it. Maybe they were just curious as to what I was writing. Either way, no harm, no foul. They didn’t cause any damage.
Back to the Bedbugs. I believe my Second Treatment will be on Thursday. I couldn’t even manage to do all Preparations for the first.
You see, under my “regular” health conditions, I need to take a guy I know to go grocery shopping with me. I can’t lift the heavy bags!
I also have him help me with laundry because it gets pretty bad going up and down, up and down…
A bag of clothes slung over my shoulder with one hand. The other, holding my cane and a jug of Detergent.
I’m not complaining here. Know that. Just the facts of the case. What I will complain about is that our Laundry Room has five Washers and 10 Dryers.
Now, we have the above and a head injury so unbelievable…well, it is quite unbelievable so try to imagine it when washing my apartment with it!
I get migraines that appear like I’m having strokes. Neat, huh?
A stroke. Picture that. Even on it’s own.
Granted, sometimes they are not as bad, and SO symptomatic; waving a huge flag with every sign listed. That was when it started and I first went to hospital. In my Chart, they Rubber Stamped: STROKE PATIENT!
However, after Discharge I did have another that sent me back to hospital. Thus, this “thing” is highly unpredictable. And painful. And weakening. And EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.
I lose a significant (more than?) degree of both gross and fine motor skills. PA fall down go BOOM. In fact, I almost did doing the damn laundry the FIRST time for this!
Wait. I did fall a bit. I remember because I immediately wrapped and curled my arms and hands around my head. To protect it if I went all the way down. Like my head isn’t (severely!) enough?
I’m also visually impaired so wraparound sunglasses mandatory. Really sick makes being bedridden mandatory. So can my awful TBI Sleep.
TBI is an acronym for Traumatic Brain Injury. The term is generally used for a head injury that’s more than a bump on the bean that you’ll get. One that won’t significantly affect you, and will heal quickly. Like a mild Concussion.
However, a more serious Concussion that takes too long to heal, acquires problems, and possible chances something might not heal? Post-Concussion Syndrome? That would then be shifted to a TBI.
All head injuries can make you SO tired and want to sleep. That can be part of the healing process. But when stuck with massive, permanent, can be treated or not, your degrees of sleep can be astonishing.
I’m minimum 12hrs a day, but sometimes more. On some days I would kill for more. Caffeine or not. Like today.
The information and guidelines to prepare for this Bedbug Treatment? It’s more like something actually written by the Gestapo. It makes me wonder if anyone without any challenges could do it all?
Moreover, it’s given to you four days in advance. Moreover, moreover, I live in a Co-Op. The By-Laws state, if you need help for any health conditions, you are to obtain a Doctor’s Letter stating why you need help–and what your issues are.
FOUR DAYS??? I got mine for the First Treatment on a Friday. Thanks for that. So I was at least ready for the Second. This was charming.
Despite my letter being Crystal Clear, I was told I had to explain exactly what I needed help with. In Detail. Then, the Co-Op would see what they could do. They could only do so much.
I began citing the portion of the By-Laws regarding all of this, only to be interrupted, that I had to read them, “properly.”
I have a wonderful relationship with our Manager. We talk, we joke, he knows I know the By-Laws back to front. I do things to make this place run a lot easier for him.
Why is he not doing the same?
My emails to him now. *laughing* I’m trying to “maintain” a Business Tone. Have I reached the Antagonistic Tone yet? I don’t mean to sound that way. But it’s called: Documentation.
I found a little cart I have that I thought was broken. One of those metal, grid-like ones you can use for shopping. It turns out it’s not broken at all.
I could use it for laundry. Still, there is absolutely NO WAY I can do what is required (again, like I have a stroke, and only having a few days.)
I think I could do my laundry with my little cart. It actually supports me evenly, so no cane! Completely irrelevant though.
I’m going to have more tea. Try and wake up. Then do a couple of loads? It’s so late now nobody will be in there.
God help me. Well, he can’t. Agnostic Theorists won’t make it happen.
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In zoned voice to Receptionist with rising tears toward end:
“Hi, it’s me. I know we talked about delaying things because of my living situation. Yes, not knowing about the second Bedbug Treatment. And not hearing back from the maintenance guy about ANOTHER flood from the woman upstairs.
Well, I finally heard back from him, and would have called you earlier but the office was closed. We need to reschedule the appointment. In fact, I don’t even know when I can do the bloods. You see…even if for the time…
…well, uh, wait, they’re doing more pest control. Ants and mice. And I was told my second Bedbug one was two days after?
Things have been damaged I’ve found. I’m making a list for my Insurance Company because I did everything right. And the medical letter? It said everything right! But now I have to tell them everything!
Snniff,snifff, I’m sorry. So it’s not just my living situation and all I have to do there and I don’t know how, but the bloods, and I don’t care.
First week of the month. That’s when I get my period and the catamenial migraines that mimic strokes and it was so bad this time and real migraines gr…uhhh…ummm Sssoorrryyy…
So no way I could do them on time, in bed for days and I don’t care. Ahhh…ohhh..snifff…shighff. I don’t care about my dying liver, having all three Hepatitis A, B and C or dying. I don’t care.
I can’t do anything about anything. What’s the point? Who cares and all I have to do is going to take forever anyway so everything is just going to have to wait. I can’t do anything about anything.
The only thing I can do is get my hair cut. That’s all I can do. Get my hair cut. And dye it too. That’s all I want to do. Maybe if I can do that.
So I guess I’ll have to call you back when all of this has to be done. Thanks, hon.”
The tears will be full throttle if you couldn’t tell. The call would not be aggressive in any manner whatsoever.
The “hon” is because I have a very special rapport with my portion of the Staff (Sweetie GP’s Staff.)
They would probably (definitely!) ask me if I wanted a call from Sweetie GP.
With the call I would continue to be so upset, I’d be confused and anything could pop out of my mouth.
Although note it would not be Passive-aggressive if it sounded like it, because of our relationship. It would be purely because I was falling apart all over.
This will basically be the call I will have to make to the office tomorrow or Monday. And sadly, that’s how it will go.
Unless I just shutdown completely and state we must postpone. However, if I’m asked any questions? Then I might start falling apart.
I think I’ll go for the second option. Shutdown. The Receptionists are always busy.
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I kept holding my little AA Chip I got today after my first Meeting. No. I kept holding it ALL DAY.
And crying. And crying. And crying. And crying.
And smoking. And smoking. And smoking. And smoking.
We’ll deal with that addiction later. Although, Sweetie GP has a Clinic to help with that.
Holy, crap! Multiple Doctors working in the same office and they have Clinics to help you with everything and they’re all in the same office.
The building is also a high rise with other occupants. Quite.
This is going to be rambly as all get out. Or get up? Ouch.
I took my meds pretty early hoping to pass out like a bomb. Huh? Passing out wouldn’t sound like a bomb would it? I don’t know. I pass out quietly.
Slow. No? I broke my role of only two Valium a day to three to kick my sleep meds in the arse if they don’t kick in after a long time.
It’s okay that I do this though, kids. No abuse of my meds. All my Doctors know I do this.
Finally! But very fitful. Then a few hours later? 0300hrs? Oh, man!
Had to go to the bathroom but MIGRAINE!!! Gulped my Maxalt but after that, I knew that going back to sleep would be impossible.
I’m so gone. I don’t think I can write anymore. Proofing this will be impossible. I think you guys will get it though.
When my Insomnia gets beyond control, I find I can usually (or possibly?) get some winks before sunrise. Maybe I’ll try that.