Archive for the ‘Technology Sucks’ Category


For the first time in my life, I’ve received more Tweet Notification Activity in numbers, than Comments on my Blog.

“Normally” that would be fine. 

However, I have over 100 or so people saying something about me saying something that I really didn’t think was something special at all.

It’s so, totally and obnoxiously fun, when you can take an amazing run-on sentence and hold it captive.  Make you do whatever you want it to, manipulate it as a Writer, even before the Random Note has been sent out? As long as you avoid Purple Prose.

Which that was.  I’m stunned A lot of Spam-A-Rama? I looked at my Inbox, briefly.  I’ve never been messed on Twitter before l figured who was trying to mess with me first.

*sighs*

Tired.

Just something to put up here because it’s such a massive contrast.  Which form of Social Media is beating up the other, you know?

They’re all going to see this on Twitter.  That’s even more of the crazy.

PA the AI should definitely become unplugged now.


Am I going to show up on Twitter using WP now? Now? Now? Now? Immediately after I finish typing? Now? Now? N…

After being Referee at the longest, most painful Technological Boxing Match, ever? 

Now? Now? Now? 

Painful, due to them both pummeling the hell out of the Referee. That was me, remember?

Here we go, you shitbag apps.


I think I’ve used that before.  When things have gone sideways, pear shaped, become frozen, completely imploded, people have been stalking me, I’ve been stalking me and many other things.

Here’s a new one.  I’m now visually impaired to some degree, so forget using my Mac.  Even tiny mobile screens can become brutal. 

“Visually Impaired?” you ask.

Modus diagnosis operandi is Continual Migraines.  Shrapnel in my brain, from being admitted to hospital for a Stroke.  That was a year ago.  Except it wasn’t a Stroke.  It just sure as hell looked like one!

So it was probably a TIA then.  They can present almost exactly the same way.  The primary distinction is no damage or insults to the brain, whereas a Stroke generally shows something when you look at any/all parts of it.

Plus YOU can show a lot after a Stroke.

Well, my brain’s been insulted a lot.  By seizures, falls, people telling me I’m stupid, and yes, prior migraines.  However, this is a different braingame.  Too much.

Migraines can mimic Strokes and TIA’s so I probably didn’t have one of those either.  It was “The Migraine Heard Around the World.”

I’m not kidding.  I’ve been through a lot of funky medical experiences but this? It was beyond belief.  Surreal.  My head really did explode.  Okay, it didn’t but at the time…you get it.  And my eyes.  Psychedelic and black vision.

Try to imagine that.

Now, blurry, photophobia, pain cognitive impairment.  So, sunglasses, don’t push using my eyes, dimenhydrinate, new med (Beta-blocker Propranolol) and cane. 

Now back to my Blog after that fun stuff.

This whole Blog has turned to shit.  I honestly think this is the lowest of the low.  It’s never been as bad as this.

I don’t have the imagination to imagine conjuring a beginning to begin fixing it.  Much less time.  The first thing would be my Blogroll. 

How many old and dead Blogs are lined up there like ratty, teenage socks, hanging out to dry but they’ll always reek? No doubt more than I already know.

Then, replacements.  I’ve met so many great people with amazing Blogs out there.  However, due to “Technical Errors” (i.e. I’m a fucking idiot) I never filed them along with my others.

“Look and Feel?” Oh, bloody hell.  Just the thought of it makes me feel nauseous.  And since I’m sick I’m already nauseous!

The plopping of my current template into (better said ONTO) another template can make you want to heave, simply by looking at it.  Run away horrified too.

Eventually. Hopefully.

I haven’t shut everything thing down after so many easy (and difficult) situations.  That must mean something.  Perhaps the fact, that it’s actually not the lowest of low after all.

Yet?


I mentioned on Twitter that it might, might be time for me to hang up my Blogging Hat.  Or, to say stop my Blogging Hands.  That would be more appropriate.

It’s not an ongoing, forever-we-experience, Blogging Crisis.  It’s not Writer’s Block.  I could think of many things to write about.

Things have changed.  Some that are easy(ier) to explain, some I don’t know if I can, but I’ll try.  Some I don’t even know if I can explain to me!

My Blog has been up for nine years.  I don’t know how long any measurement that means.  In terms of living, averages of any kind, but that’s pretty irrelevant, I think.

I mentioned the word, “living.”

Are Blogs really living entities? I believe the answer is a very firm, no.  We MAKE them living entities.

I made an analogy on Twitter as well, regarding the “feelings” between both my Blog and me, as a person.  I said, “I feel like I have phantom limb pain.”

It’s true.  Something has been severed.  The “living entity” I have created, that which was so connected to me…  It’s not anymore…  But to what degree, and even what part of my body, I do not know…yet.

Despite still writing a bit more, I have been tremendously unhappy with my Blog.  The beginning of things being severed? There were times I couldn’t even look at it.  Now, things seem so, terribly disjointed and I can’t fix them.

I definitely don’t expect you to understand that last sentence!

Does reading my Blog make me cry? *laughing* Of course not! It’s my life!

Thinking about my life might make me cry, but my entire life isn’t on my Blog.

The only times I’ve cried reading my Blog was years ago.  I would receive these Comments from utter strangers.  They would pour their hearts out to me and tell me I literally saved their lives.

I would sit and bawl my eyes out.  Why me? Who am I? I didn’t say anything? It took a LONG time to respond to people like that! But they were few.  I’m not being egotistical.

I write a lot about having no life.  Well, I do.  We all do.  Perhaps not as we’d always like it, but you can’t escape the fact.

How many hours have I Blogged, read other Blogs, spent time on Twitter when that came along later.  How about all day and all night?

At the time it felt just fine.  Really? Not so really. 

That’s not healthy.  I mean, for me it isn’t.  It’s an unhealthy escape.  Too easy to muck about when I need to focus on getting myself at least somewhat together.  Also, that “somewhat” is just a start.

How long has it been since I really got into my own writing? I mean really got into it? I have SO many unfinished projects, I haven’t sent any Submissions to anyone in ages. *sighs*

Am I done? I sure feel done.  This Post has been exhausting to write.  Difficult, too.  Don’t cry, PA!

*teardrops*

But for now, I’m still here.  I haven’t made a final decision. 

Maybe Dr. PA can perform some surgery on both sides; to mend herself and reattach what she brought to life and into this world.


This is funny.  My Mom’s birthday is November 28.  I emailed her in a panic last night apologizng for forgetting it “yesterday.”

Of course I got an email back saying, “…” Uh, huh.  That’s actually the first time I’ve ever pre-forgot something.

I also forget my own birthday.  Then it happens.  Then I forget that I’ve aged another year for six months.  I keep telling everyone I’m my prior age than how old I really am.

This is NOT a joke, a lie, no shorn sheep over eyes!

So I (sort of) remembered this. November.  THE INCARNATION.  And I got the day right!

This is basically a “tradition” in the world of Blogging–at least for some?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BLOG!

This crazy, ridiculous, ranty, stupid and hopefully helpful THING.

I CANNOT BELIEVE.  If this Blog is completely senseless, it’s NOTHING compared to me being so utterly senseless at how long…? Nine Years.

Seriously.  Seriously?

SERIOUSLY.

I have a feeling it will make it to 10.  With so much more rambling (as always.)

Thanks for reading, everyone out there.  It’s all about you! Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here.

Cheers,
PA


Hello Everyone,

It has indeed been a very long time since I have written anything on wee PAs Blog.  That is mostly in part, because it is my full time duty to take care of her.  And indeed again, she has not been very well, for a very long time.  In fact, after a rather long hiatus, she is now only beginning to write on her Blog again.

Earlier today, she decided it would be a good idea to try after so long, to clean up her Blog.  This, once again after several failed attempts.  She feels it is a:

“Goddamn piece of shit and a total mess.  A total disaster and so fucked up that it’s a surprise that anyone is reading it at all because it’s totally gone to hell just like her.”

Moreover:

“She can’t believe she’s been writing all of these Posts on it that just look like crusty sheep barf on a barbed wire fence.  Actually, she’s the one that should be covered her own barf every day, barf from everyone on the street, barf from everyone on Television and never, ever, ever be allowed to shower again.  If it rains, she should be bound in chains inside her apartment and have more barf poured over her in extra buckets because the rain will make her long desperately with every pathetic piece of tissue in her body for a shower.”

And finally:

“FUCK MY BLOG AND FUCK ME TOO!!!”

Oh, dear.  I think you can see that I have more on my flippers than I can handle right now?

I believe it best to remove wee PA from all forms of Technology now.  However, I might have to wrestle with her to stop clenched fists reaching for a mobile phone.  Seizing her Mac is easy enough. I will simply use my “Flipper-Slip” and slide it into the its case when she wanders away to do something else.

Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day to work on her Blog.  She might be more up to task.  Right now, I bet my stakes high it is certainly not a good time!

Oh.  Well, look what we have here? I am heaving a hugh sigh of relief! We are are currently experiencing a thunder storm with lightening.  Wee PA positively loves them.  This might make my job a lot easier.

 

 


Some people who know me might have seen loads of Tweets from me about Footie (aka Soccer but the WRONG name.)

They might be questioning what is that all about? Well, quite simply, it’s a love of my life since I was a child.  The first sport I ever leaned to play.

And I fought to play it.  I grew up in a small town so trying to get Teams together for anything included the town kids, ones that lived out on farms.

I was the only girl.  Some boys screamed no girls, others didn’t care.  But I wouldn’t leave.  No way.

I’m the kind of person if you tell me I shouldn’t do it; demeaning tells me not to do it? LOOK OUT!!!

If it’s stated because I’m a woman? Oh, you think me sticking with the Football team? That was just me as a child. 

As an adult? You might not want to be in that place someone told me where I shouldn’t be–because I was I was a woman.

Sure, my Blog will still be Psych and Med focussed.  I won’t say it’s a “trap” but it just evolved that way more and more.  Both because of my readership and me as well.

THE BLOGGING CRISIS.

We’ve all been there.  Too the point of even trashing the whole thing completely!

I’m a writer so it’s the typical cursor flashing on the white screen.  You can’t produce.  Or you’re stuck in monotonous babble (or so it feels?)

You just shutdown and leave the online world.  Then you come back.  Then you leave.  Then you…  A total Yo-Yo. 

I don’t know about anyone else but this behaviour leaves me deliriously confused, and extremely guilty.  I feel like I’m letting people down.

A wonderful friend of mine who is also a Blogger always told me to try and mix things up.  Write about different things.

Ugh.  I cannot tell you how distressing that was.  Even though I wanted to do it.

So the Footie example is just one thing I want to try and do on my Blog differently. 

How about not proofing this too? Yep.  No proofing.

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Yes.  People come and go online.  I’ve seen it for all the years I’ve been Blogging and later on Twitter. 

I don’t use FB or anything else.  Maybe later I’ll sign up for other things? Maybe I have some other things that require accounts now? Maybe I just can’t remember?

But what I do remember is HIM.  I just looked at it and I’m tearing up.  Those tears are now falling and I’m crying.

I know where he geographically went–after we met. 

Just because I’m “Anonymous” doesn’t mean I meet and get to know people off-blog.  It depends.

Some people know pieces of my information, and the closer I get to others, they will have all of my information.  Full name, address, telephone number, personal email account.  Is there anything else? Well, if there is, they’ve got it!

A lot (or all) comes in handy when I get a chance to meet other Bloggers.  This would also apply to the people I’ve developed the same degree of closeness on Twitter.

Oh! Oh! Oh! If you feel comfortable enough meeting other Bloggers etc. DO IT!

I’ve met several of my Blogging Pals and it’s absolutely fantastic! I NEVER turn down the opportunity.

How many? Let me think.  Five? One lives relatively close to me so we meet up regularly.  A second one was the same but moved.  Still, he comes “home” so we try to connect then.

And don’t forget the cameras!

We talked about Blogging before my now gone friend came over.  That was since I was more “Anonymous” than I am now.  I was rather reticent. 

Yes, over time through friends making accidental mentions (truly hilarious because of being friends!) Me tossing things to the wind for readership.  Well?

The general population still wouldn’t be able to find me unless it was by accident?

But he was SO excited!!! He was from overseas and just couldn’t contain himself.  How could I say no? But One Condition.

He was a Scot.  I knew he could get me the real thing.  I NEEDED IT!!!

I’m looking at it now.  That’s what made me want to write this.  I took it off the…because I had to take IT off and put IT away…

Let’s put this in for the Anime and Manga Folks. 

If I didn’t have it, on a windy day running to school, it would raise too high, and boys noses would bleed.

In other words, my kilt.  And it actually did fly up so high on windy days, you could see my “lingerie.” Yes.  Pretty things under the kilt for wind.

Anyone’s noses bleeding yet?

He asked me what kind I wanted.  Knowing nothing of actual Scottish Kilt Pins, I just said, ” You Decide!”

I wore my kilt (and it was windy!)  He chose the most traditional.  A Thistle.  He was about 6’3 and I’m barely 5’2.  However, I had heels on. *laughing*

He bent down and put it on.  He was so gentle.  It almost seemed like some ceremony of sorts. *shakes head*

We continued to talk of all things over drinks until it was time to go.  I hopped in a taxi and he walked back to his hotel–after loads of hugs and kisses.

Where did he go? Where is he now?

CODA: I brought my Digital SLR
Camara but its battery died! I hopped off my barstool and sprinted across the street to get a Disposable.  He was agog at how fast I could run in my heels.

Men are funny sometimes.

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Useless Post but just for the point of whining and my closing Signature.

Spent couple hours writing. CRRRAAASSSHHH!!!

It didn’t save it as a Draft.  It even booted me out and made me log in again.

I’m also tired because the woman above me caused a flood in my Unit.  I woke up to rain in my kitchen in the very early hours of the morning.

That’s just another thing to bitch about so why not toss it in here.

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Which is a good thing and a bad thing.  It’s easier to type now (still slowly) but I can use WordPress better.  Terrible on my phone.

However, all the new people I Followed on Twitter? I have to go find their Blogs and put them in my file with everyone else’s. That will be a lot of work.

Then we need to talk about this whole, “Me Having a Stroke” or whatever etc. issues.

And the bright light of a computer.  Even set on the lowest possible end for brightness? It’s still making my eyes, and radiating, ocular area of my head, scream like you could hear from this Post–what country where you live is irrelevant.  My screaming will be equally loud across the globe.

Wait.

Dammit! I should have used all of that FOR writing the Post about the stroke crap! Oh, well.

When you have a head injury, no matter what type, you’re a little off you’re game.  Or sometimes A LOT.

Which is where I am now.  I sometimes don’t know if I’ve used my eyes too much the day before.  That’s when I wake up wanting to scratch my eyeballs out of my head (but we’ll get to that later.  It’s not so bad now.

I forgot I bought a pair of wraparound sunglasses that fit over my glasses so a very good solution when I need to do things requiring light.  Then, long periods of the black blindfold just eyes closed.

I need some tea now.  Wake up a bit and put the groovy shades on because it’s a lovely summer day.  Too bad I can’t enjoy it! Brief and very safe walking with the cane.  Maybe I could sit outside on my patio but I always try to read!

That is MASSIVE eye work! Even “looking around?” And it’s not photophobia.  That’s the weird thing.  Dark, and protective vision for pain, but not for brightness.

There’s something wrong with my head.  I’ve even got it on paper when I was admitted that an MRI was to be done for a stroke.

Okay, in a really messed up way, you know some of what’s going on? Next, I’ll try and run you through everything that happened.  It’s Classic Stroke Behaviour.  Or something like it.

See ya.