Archive for the ‘The Tummy Blues’ Category
I think I’ve used that before. When things have gone sideways, pear shaped, become frozen, completely imploded, people have been stalking me, I’ve been stalking me and many other things.
Here’s a new one. I’m now visually impaired to some degree, so forget using my Mac. Even tiny mobile screens can become brutal.
“Visually Impaired?” you ask.
Modus diagnosis operandi is Continual Migraines. Shrapnel in my brain, from being admitted to hospital for a Stroke. That was a year ago. Except it wasn’t a Stroke. It just sure as hell looked like one!
So it was probably a TIA then. They can present almost exactly the same way. The primary distinction is no damage or insults to the brain, whereas a Stroke generally shows something when you look at any/all parts of it.
Plus YOU can show a lot after a Stroke.
Well, my brain’s been insulted a lot. By seizures, falls, people telling me I’m stupid, and yes, prior migraines. However, this is a different braingame. Too much.
Migraines can mimic Strokes and TIA’s so I probably didn’t have one of those either. It was “The Migraine Heard Around the World.”
I’m not kidding. I’ve been through a lot of funky medical experiences but this? It was beyond belief. Surreal. My head really did explode. Okay, it didn’t but at the time…you get it. And my eyes. Psychedelic and black vision.
Try to imagine that.
Now, blurry, photophobia, pain cognitive impairment. So, sunglasses, don’t push using my eyes, dimenhydrinate, new med (Beta-blocker Propranolol) and cane.
Now back to my Blog after that fun stuff.
This whole Blog has turned to shit. I honestly think this is the lowest of the low. It’s never been as bad as this.
I don’t have the imagination to imagine conjuring a beginning to begin fixing it. Much less time. The first thing would be my Blogroll.
How many old and dead Blogs are lined up there like ratty, teenage socks, hanging out to dry but they’ll always reek? No doubt more than I already know.
Then, replacements. I’ve met so many great people with amazing Blogs out there. However, due to “Technical Errors” (i.e. I’m a fucking idiot) I never filed them along with my others.
“Look and Feel?” Oh, bloody hell. Just the thought of it makes me feel nauseous. And since I’m sick I’m already nauseous!
The plopping of my current template into (better said ONTO) another template can make you want to heave, simply by looking at it. Run away horrified too.
I haven’t shut everything thing down after so many easy (and difficult) situations. That must mean something. Perhaps the fact, that it’s actually not the lowest of low after all.
Okay. How long ago did I say I was going to start Blogging about this subject? I even added a Category for it. Which is not even lying dormant or hibernating, but catatonic. No, it’s DEAD.
I had to write some “Introductory Material” for everyone to read, before jumping into pots, and frying pans, and trash bins. I despise litter but some of you might even have wished to defenestrate what you prepared.
Or, throw it all over your neighbour’s door if they’re really mean to you.
Perhaps the possibilities are endless. It might simply depend upon who you are as a person, and what dish you’ve prepared. Both? If you’ve made yourself vomit or not?
Let’s not focus on the NEGATIVE though! I’ve made some awesome stuff that’s NEVER made me
I’m emetophobic so I can’t vomit! Thus, I have complete confidence that you too could become the best Experimental Cook beyond your wildest dreams. In fact, you will be an “Experimental Chef!”
A Susur Lee, Anthony Bourdain, many more (only you’ll have partial, prefrontal cortex damage.) Maybe a Gordon Ramsay? Granted he has no frontal cortex in his brain period!
I think I know where the Notes are for my “Introductory Material.” I’ll go on a wild goose chase now.
However, that’s one thing I DO remember. Wild Geese aren’t in my Notes. I’ve never even tried to cook a Wild Goose, much less chase one!
That paragraph was Groaner Central. Almost, embarrassingly so! My apologies to you all. Clearly, I need more tea.
But no cooking today.
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Someone might be checking me out now. Looking at my blog to find out more about me. I’m not sure.
But that’s okay. In fact, it’s great! I want you to know me!
However, if you are looking at my Blog and checking me out, know that I am SO much more than these words.
If you are reading, I hope you see this. If you took a look and don’t come back? I’ll be so mad of not thinking of this sooner!
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Okay. I have had it UP TO HERE WITH MY GODDAM BLOODY FIBROIDS!!!
Oops. “Bloody” was a pretty dumb word to write there, wasn’t it? Nonetheless…
I just got off the phone with Sweetie GP. She needed to be updated on some things she’s not aware of. Some new things, LIKE RIGHT NOW!!! *laughing*
Also, something new to me that just ain’t no fun and ain’t no fair.
Everyone around here knows (or will read now) THIS STUPID BULLSHIT has to do with my Fibroids.
One thing that is not uncommon is for women to experience heavier periods. Although, with my long history of anemia, I joke that I now have, “Period Anemia.”
This is actually not a joke. AND NOT TODAY!!!
I HAVE BEDRIDDEN PERIOD ANEMIA!!! EXTREME CANE ALERT!!! SOMEONE FIND A NEUROSURGEON!!! STAT!!!
I had so much to do today. So much I was capable of doing today. One thing I needed to do today.
Now, we’re playing “Hide and Seek Period.” I spot so heavily it’s like I’m on it. Then, that stops. Then, just wait and count to 100!
It would appear my Fibroids have quite a sense of humor. WELL IT’S NOT FUNNY AT ALL BEING OUT IN PUBLIC WITH NO TAMPONS!!! RUN TO DRUGSTORE CASUALLY!!!
I cannot count the pairs of underwear and other clothes, that I have had to throw in the trash.
So, my Fibroids seem to be stand-up comics AND extortionists!
I have THREE FUCKING PAGES OF NOTES FOR MY NEW GYNECOLOGIST!!!
And speaking of fucking? This is the latest and greatest.
I get INCREDIBLE CRAMPS WHEN I HAVE AN ORGASM!!!
That’s what I referred to as, “…just ain’t no fun and just ain’t no fair.”
I think it’s pretty clear to say that’s an understatement larger than our entire Galaxy. Or larger.
I won’t delve into the three pages of what my Fibroids are doing to me. Which they should not be doing to me. Or any other woman. In our Galaxy or beyond.
However, this is the end of the line.
I REFUSE TO LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO HAVE ORGASMS!!! *not laughing*
Thank you for reading. Do you feel ill now?
I kept holding my little AA Chip I got today after my first Meeting. No. I kept holding it ALL DAY.
And crying. And crying. And crying. And crying.
And smoking. And smoking. And smoking. And smoking.
We’ll deal with that addiction later. Although, Sweetie GP has a Clinic to help with that.
Holy, crap! Multiple Doctors working in the same office and they have Clinics to help you with everything and they’re all in the same office.
The building is also a high rise with other occupants. Quite.
This is going to be rambly as all get out. Or get up? Ouch.
I took my meds pretty early hoping to pass out like a bomb. Huh? Passing out wouldn’t sound like a bomb would it? I don’t know. I pass out quietly.
Slow. No? I broke my role of only two Valium a day to three to kick my sleep meds in the arse if they don’t kick in after a long time.
It’s okay that I do this though, kids. No abuse of my meds. All my Doctors know I do this.
Finally! But very fitful. Then a few hours later? 0300hrs? Oh, man!
Had to go to the bathroom but MIGRAINE!!! Gulped my Maxalt but after that, I knew that going back to sleep would be impossible.
I’m so gone. I don’t think I can write anymore. Proofing this will be impossible. I think you guys will get it though.
When my Insomnia gets beyond control, I find I can usually (or possibly?) get some winks before sunrise. Maybe I’ll try that.
Fuck my ankle. Fuck my sanity.
When I walked in the door, I almost fell, shaking and crying into a tiny foetal position on the floor–after one person said, “Hello.”
Fuck my Asperger’s while I’m hand flapping, and head twisting, pulling at my clothes etc. in the meeting.
I did say I had Asperger’s to everyone.
*pauses for cigarette to continue de-freaking while stomach feels like an Olympic Gymnast*
I was new and wanted to come back. Also, literally had my last drink(s) yesterday so I received my “24 Hours” Chip.
If you don’t know, they give them out to Members for various lengths of sobriety. So, hold my lucky chip in my hand and no more booze!
Uh, I think it’ll be a bit harder than that.
I have to somehow relax. I’m still merrily going through Detox and Withdrawal at the moment as well.
That’s the tough part. Or is for me. Being a Functional Alcoholic. Well, it’s becoming a lot more tough for me now. I’ll bet my chip on that.
Valium can be used for Detox and Withdrawal so one of those now! Then something on TV to get me settled and all of this out of my head. For now.