I finally found the way to get me properly treated for all of this alcohol, addiction bullshit (believe me I could use more profane words.)

A long haul.  An appt. early September for a “Consultation.”  That consultation will be two and a half hours.  I’m afraid I might pass out in the middle of it.

From there, I must do one of many types(?) of outpatient treatment.  I have no fucking clue what the hell that means.

52 Pick Up?

The one good thing is that once I start whatever outpatient program, I’m already set up for the 21 Day Inpatient Program.

Totally my aim and what I need for physical, medical and psych needs.

The problem is, that’s a long time away.   After three days of being sober and feeling really strong about it, really determined, I relapsed.  I went out drinking.

I’ve said it.  I’m an addict.  Even further, you can’t trust an addict.

To hell with me being an addict.  If I can’t gain anyone’s trust? A serious reason to live in the bottle.

Although, chicken and egg? Trust with or without the bottle? Trust when I’m so close to the gutter, that person pulls me out?

I’m tired.  Of this.  20 Years.  Half my life.  I don’t know if I can do it.

I know I have to for all of the fucking shit that’s wrong, or not “wrong” with me, but what I grew up with and couldn’t control.

Excuse any typos or statements that might seem contrary to the content.  Still fighting, still failing but exhausted either way.

Will WordPress on my mobile FINALLY work?

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