Landlord Homicide

Irresponsible, idiotic, illegal, imbecile!

Well, it’s confirmed. He has ripped apart my ceiling. But that is not really why I am upset. I figured this would happen. On numerous occasions (about 562?) I have argued that my leak has come from the upstairs flat when the tenant had a shower. This has, in fact, been confirmed by both of us. My landlord was convinced that it was the rain. I repeatedly argued with him that no, it was not as it would still occur when it did not rain.

He wasted how much money I do not know on a roofer to patch who knows what and also rip apart the deck that the upstairs tenant has in the process earlier this summer. He still has not finished repairing the deck. He insists on doing the work himself and not hiring a contractor even though he is not capable of any of this type of work.

The upstairs tenant has been there for quite some time. She has told me horror stories. The landlord has entered her flat late at night without any notice (legally 24 hours is required) while she has been in bed in her pyjamas! He has done prior work there (even though she is still waiting–and has been forever–for more work to be done) and has used/touched her personal things (such as her iPod base station/stereo, coffee mugs to make coffee…who knows what else!) Go to the nearest coffee shop and get your own coffee!

I called her just now to see how things were progressing (she works from home.) She told me he knocked on the basement tenant’s flat. He was not home and the landlord entered it! Lovely! So is he entering my flat whenever I am not home as well?

And another thing. Recently he called me about a “stolen ladder” from the backyard shed. He said he had left the shed open while doing the roofing work and it was suddenly gone! I just about hit the “roof” myself. It was a message left on my phone so I called back and left him a message. I was quite terse and laid down the law about leaving the shed open and unattended as my bicycle (and pump that I thought had been stolen but was moved–and not by either of the other tenants) is in there. I do not want them stolen. I told him that I had seen the shed left open and unattended TWICE. That is unacceptable.

He told me that it would never happen as long as he was there. Really? I suggested I haul both the bike and pump into my flat if necessary. I am quite tempted still. The ladder apparently belongs to the upstairs tenant’s boyfriend. I found that out today and I guess he was using it? Still, don’t leave the shed and its contents unattended!

I tidied everything up nicely for his arrival with the plumber in my flat today but apparently the plumber only stayed a half hour. I guess it was deemed that was not the problem and source of the leak. But I think I forgot to close my clothes closet! Oh well, if he’s going to snoop, he’s going to snoop…it wouldn’t matter anyway? But the thought of him going through my underwear makes me feel just so wonderful.

I tried to place some things in rather strategic places as I have spoken to the upstairs tenant about some of these issues before. However, I couldn’t and can’t keep track of every possession I own. But if I find one thing touched, moved, (other than the things below the ripped apart ceiling) I will throw the biggest fit that I ever have in my life. And let’s not even talk about the fact of anything becoming damaged or going “missing.”

Ah yes…here’s another charming one. He and his wife are moving to Zambia! But he only told the upstairs tenant. Thank you. What about the other two of us? Why were we not told? For a while, we were all wondering just what was going to happen to us. Would the house be sold? Would someone or some company be called upon to manage the property? Would he be so out of his mind to try and manage the property himself from AFRICA!

So far, I have learned that there will be a Property Manager hired. This should and would be the best case scenario (provided that this person is not just as ridiculous as our dingbat landlord.) The absolute worst would have been a purchaser who decided to (re)convert the building to a single family dwelling and move in or rent the flats to family members. This can be done?

You know, when I met him (and I don’t know if this is a stereotype or not) I found out he was a “Man of the Cloth.” Yes, he is a minister. I gathered from that, he would be an honest, reliable and trustworthy man? As soon as I can, I think I need to find a new flat. After winter, however? Who wants to move then? Who wants to move, ever?

I even suggested today to the upstairs tenant that we all look for a big house, rent it and just bloody well move in together! All three of make a run for it and leave him in the lurch to find three new tenants all at once and swallow the cost of the lost rent while he’s waiting. We all get along, are all around the same age, smoke, are Mac users…why not?! Granted, PA pretty much likes to live alone but maybe some social interaction would do her some good if we’re all “pretty cool.”

My stomach’s been a bit off today…I think perhaps I now know why?

  1. Symbiosis

    Oh man, he sounds aweful…my landlady is a sweetheart compared to that rat…she can get somewhat overbearing at times though…but who cares…she installed an air-conditioner without my asking and left a heater at the doorstep..all my mail comes to my doorstep as I never make it to the mailbox bfr them…the place is a steal for NY and just a couple of miles from work…no wonder i dont want to move…I hate moving..absolutely and fervently hate moving..who likes moving anyway..i like your idea of leaving him tenantless and it infact..if i were you i would definitely do that!


  2. Hi Symbiosis, it sounds like you have a pretty good arrangement going on? I hate renting period! I mean, you’re paying off someone else’s mortgage! Better to pay off your own? I don’t know what kind of mortgage I would qualify for being a single earner. Probably enough to buy some little, shoe box sized condo or loft? But at least it would be mine! An investment, build up equity…even if you lose everything, sell the damn thing and you still have (hopefully) a profit if the market hasn’t slipped or bottomed out since you’ve purchased.

    Okay, I’m hardly a real estate guru. Obviously, I’ve never bought anything but I do know some of the imperatives–lawyers, mortgage brokers if you don’t want to bother with banks yourself (free here,) pain in the ass real estate agents (but not so much if you’re the buyer–again, you don’t pay,) home inspectors, keep a significant cushion for hidden fees when you close, moving costs, be prepared for anything!

    Nonetheless, if I did buy something, I’d like an open concept, two level loft with exposed brick, please? Modern and simple, yet tasteful decorating (I might need to hire someone as I have no skills in this department.) It would need to have adequate square footage for entertaining all the friends that I do not have with lavish dinner parties as well. So I guess that would really mean a kitchen barely used and a large table where I would sit by myself and eat bowls of soup. Heh.

    But at least it would all look very nice. And no, I don’t want a house as I hate yard work, all the maintenance of a property like that…pay the fees for the condo/loft.

    Are you kidding me? PA is far from wealthy. She might end up stuck in the renter’s cycle for life.

    I’ve always preferred to rent within the landlord’s actual home. There are a few reasons for this. One, it is their home so they will care a lot more about looking after the property. Two, they are on site. If you need them, chances are, just a door knock away and they will respond quickly to your concerns–immediately if it’s an emergency (like floods which I have had!) Third, as one couple told me, they are more careful in selecting tenants as you are very much in fact living “with” them. It can be rather intimate at times.

    Good lord, with that couple–they were younger and very cool–there were times when we both heard each other having sex! Or at least I heard them. I’m still curious about the other way around. HAHAHA!

    But they were great and I used to hang out with them so it was all good. Invites to parties they had etc… With another guy, same thing (well, not the sex part) but invites to backyard barbecues and the like.

    So anyway, renting can either be good or bad…just like everything else in life, I suppose.

    Oh, I’m still laughing about that memory…it’s a funny story too. Okay, I’ll tell it. More sex stories on my blog…oh dear.

    It was a basement apartment, my first, so it had to be a bit on the inexpensive side? Anyway, I thought I heard something outside so I went up the stairs to have a peek out the window. Nope, nothing there. This was sometime in the night. My stairs were a big creaky so as I went up, I started hearing something else…oh boy…OH BOY!

    Now, I didn’t want to move as my stairs made so much noise! I was afraid they would hear me and think that I was listening on purpose! I mean, it sounded like they were right outside my door! So I waited…and waited…and waited a bit more and then I could finally head back downstairs and go to bed.

    I just kind of laid there. It took me a bit to finally get to sleep. My god, the wife of the couple was absolutely stunning. That was the hardest part *laughing*


  3. Symbiosis

    Haha…that was funny!
    Yeah I have always rented out apartments in the past and this is my first time renting the ground floor of a condo with the owner couple living upstairs. My great attractions were that it was completely and very tastefully furnished and super close to work and beach. I think this arrangement is actually better than the aptt deal, ofcourse i realize it could also bomb bigtime…u have more risk as you said!


  4. Hey Symbiosis, I’m glad you liked my story.

    Beach…I’m not completely familiar with the geography (it was one of my worst subjects ever; I don’t even know my own country etc…) but I’m trying to figure it out where you are? Crazy city. Must obviously be coastal…south? Duh. Where the hell else would water be? Yes, my geography is bad but it’s a fucking island!

    The North? No…

    Okay, being a bit stupid there is water in Central Park? Dumb PA.

    Upper East/West…a little fancy? Again, around that area…no water, of course. Why don’t you live there?! Heh. I would live there. But I’m afraid that the city might make me bonkers.

    So when can I fly down for a visit *wink* you can show me exactly where you are and I can then decide upon the insanity factor.


  5. Symbiosis

    Long Island!


  6. Great Symbiosis, thanks for helping me out with that! Email me and let me know when I should book my ticket. I’m not sure when you have vacation availability… I can take off any time. Very flexible…just give notice and and it’s a done deal at my workplace.

    Oh, I know…I’m so bad…

    But I’m a good guest. I clean up after myself, do the dishes and such…not messy. Quite polite as Canadians are known to be *laughing really hard now*


  7. damewiggy

    death by goomba!

    (as they say in these parts)


  8. Symbiosis

    Am going to see Monet’s home…wanna come?


  9. Hey, damewiggy…Chicag’–“Shy-Cog” (I don’t even know if that’s a proper nickname for the city but someone I knew called it that–was he a dumb Canuck…?) Well, apparently it has some funny expressions? Or maybe that’s just one of your expressions *wink*

    I took a peek as I always thought that a “goomba” was a term for an idiot but apparently a goomba/h can be either a Super Mario character, a derogatory slang term for an “Italian-American” or a companion/older friend who acts as a patron or an adviser.

    So based upon those three, the “worst” would be the wee enemies of the Super Mario game. But if the intarweb has failed me and if I am indeed missing something in your fantastic slang…by all means, let me know! I love idioms, increasingly my vocabulary in weird and wonderful ways and definitely stumping the hell out of people when I talk to them!

    Crap, what was one that I heard years ago from the US and I was like wha…? “Boo-yeah!” or “Boo-yaaaaah!” or something. Huh? I never got that one. No one ever explained that one to me. Any readers from the US…apart from you guys, damewiggy and Symbiosis…if you know what the hell that is all about and how to use that in context, please enlighten me. It sounds like something you’d just scream out at a Frat Party.

    Anyway, I have always wanted to visit the beautiful city where you are…the most similar to mine as many have said. It has often been compared to it.

    Another hint? Yes…if anyone is listening or has a clue, PA is revealing more about herself, where she lives…eroding her anonymity.

    Symbiosis, you think I’m kidding, don’t you? I mean, here I am telling damewiggy that I’m all ready to jet down to O’Hare… Hello!

    You know the term, “In A New York Minute?” Well, okay, arrangements would have to made etc… And yes…Monet’s home sounds very cool. I mean, what the hell isn’t cool about NYC?

    It’s actually getting a little bit stupid. I don’t know how much vacation time I have for this year but it’s a bit? Certainly enough for me to do something. I don’t know–the file is at work and I can only access email from home.

    Okay…more than one way to do things…I found it and just took a look. I have 18 vacation days remaining for this year. 18!!! At five days being one week, that’s just over three weeks! It is now nearing October. Okay.

    I am not in the position where I can be “paid out” for any vacation time that I do not use. However, I can carry it over to the next year. I receive four weeks of vacation time. Great. So if I don’t do anything with it, next year I will have seven weeks of vacation!

    Now this all might sound like a dream but not when you’re single? And mental? I am not one to travel alone. Maybe in the throes of Bipolar madness, I wouldn’t have cared and been all gung ho. But now? Not fun. I might talk to people? Maybe explore a bit but I could very well just sit there not doing much at all besides wasting my time and my money. I think you need to share the experiences with someone else. That is what makes travel worthwhile.

    I could sit at home and “relax” (aka do nothing.) Oh, please. I do that enough now and it’s already killing me and detriMENTAL enough to my health.

    So now that I’ve basically written a post in my comment section, yes Symbiosis, serious about coming down and yes, damewiggyserious about coming to see you too.


    And North American flights are or can be relatively (?) cheap even though all the carriers suck these days.


  10. damewiggy

    “a derogatory slang term for an “Italian-American” or a companion/older friend who acts as a patron or an adviser”

    good research lil missy.

    yes, here in the states, death by goomba(h) denotes a mob hit. (and the only reason i can proudly state that free of all politically incorrect implication is ‘cuz i shag an italian american rotten.)

    otherwise, i’d be swimming with the fishes. (more mob slang)

    (note to self: send PA a copy of the Godfather)

    or better yet, a ticket to Chicaaaga! i’ll learn ya’ some slang, mama!



  11. Hello, again damewiggy, indeed, I do love my research. I may not be the best but I find it fun. And the internet does make things a bit easier?

    Well, your explanation certainly fleshes things out! Do you have any particular ethnic preference that you shag better or worse than another? Just curious since you brought up the whole Italian thing… *wink*

    You know, I never really got into the Godfather series and all of that. So much that I’ve never watched any of them *laughing* I don’t why–or why not!

    But I’d much prefer the airline ticket–I would reimburse you of course…I wouldn’t expect you to be my benefactor. Now how on earth would I pay you back *wink again* Now, I know you wouldn’t accept that as *ahem* payment…

    But yay!!! PA’s going to see damewiggy!!! *PA laughs some more*


  12. Symbiosis

    Monet’s house is in Giverny, France.
    Chicago is my all time favourite city.


  13. That’s okay Symbiosis, I can do France, too. Actually, I have always wanted to.

    Good lord, can I sound more desperate to “hook up” (haha) with my fellow readers?

    Throw me on a plane and I’ll go anywhere…again, as long as there is someone to go with? Or meet? Much better.

    My only problem is I need help with packing. I am the ultimate spaz in that area. I can barely pack my own lunch. But I’m still not eating much these days so at least that isn’t a problem?

    I suppose I could call ex-partner as she has travelled so much she could pack my suitcase for me? No, seriously! She packed me for our last trip, pretty much and when I moved to her place she did most of my packing when I just stood there staring at all of my stuff.

    And she did a lot of my packing when we broke up. Yes, pretty amicable and no…I didn’t have to sleep on the couch either.

    She also rearranged my furniture when I moved this spring into my new flat as my spatial abilities suck. She laid things out so I have more room where I really have no room at all. Thanks, ex-partner!


  14. Symbiosis

    Good for you. Sounds like she was what you were lacking.


  15. Well, Symbiosis, perhaps in those particular sparse incidents. I mean, they are very “practical” examples and she did help me in other ways. Other practical ways of giving me support and also in other emotional ways (yes, until things deteriorated…) and intellectual ways. But you have to remember that the ultimate reason that we broke up is that it wasn’t a romantic relationship. At least not for me.

    I tried. In fact, I knew it was wrong from the beginning but…?

    Sometimes, things just can not sustain themselves. I suppose we could have been set for life in a Boston Marriage kind of scenario or something but I couldn’t keep blaming my lack of sex drive on my mental illness/Depressive episodes forever.

    True, that can be a factor and you can’t fuck like rabbits for your entire relationship over years and years (well, maybe some people can but it’s exceedingly rare?!)

    Regardless, what happened, happened. I think I was attracted to her from the outset for her personality, her intellect, the great person that she was and is but not the physical and to be honest, that is important. I guess you can use words like “spark” or “chemistry” but really, that just wasn’t there. Not in a sexual sense and that is important. Otherwise, it really is a friendship, correct?


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