Time For a Change of Pace?

August 26, 2009 in ADD, Asperger's, Bipolar Disorder, Blogging, Facts About Patient Anonymous, Humour, Life is Stranger Than Fiction, Self Medication, You Decide

I think this says it all?

Better Than Alcohol?

A gift from J.  I guess he knows me better than I thought…

A Nice Italian Merlot?

August 26, 2009 in ADD, Asperger's, Bipolar Disorder, Cranky, Facts About Patient Anonymous, Health, Political, PTSD and Dissociative Disorders, Seizures, Self Medication, Therapy

I picked up a bottle of wine on the way home, but at this point, I really don’t care if it’s plonk.  I felt I deserved it after today.  Why do I “deserve” it? Well, several reasons, I suppose.  It’s cheaper to drink at home than it is going out.  It’s a 1.5L bottle that cost a whopping $13.95! Not exactly “Reserve,” but as I said, do I care?

And I’m not going to down it all tonight! PA can drink a fair bit, but a 1.5L bottle of wine??? Good Lord! And no, I haven’t even opened it…yet.  I could probably, quite easily, stretch it out for three nights.  That’s less than $5 a night.  Even if I drank half the bottle in one night… *PA crosses eyes and raises eyebrows* …it’s still fucking cheap.

It was also very “convenient” to pick up on the way home.  It was right across from “The bank!”

“The bank,” you say? Why, yes! “The bank!” My bank where I just emptied my savings account.  The savings account that I am now living on.

Especially considering my rent is due on September 01 AND I CAN’T PAY IT!!!

*PA tosses confetti in air*

Why do I have to live off my savings account? Because when I went to see the stoopid guvmunt, they told me there was nothing they could do until they received the medical form from Merlin #2.  I am going to call tomorrow to make an appt. as now it is too late.  This will extend things even more, and I still do not know if I will “qualify.”  That is because it needs to go to a more senior, stoopid guvmunt, drone for processing and approval.

*PA looks around for more confetti to toss in air*

Fucking Paralyzed and Petrified

August 26, 2009 in ADD, Asperger's, Bipolar Disorder, Cranky, Facts About Patient Anonymous, Health, PTSD and Dissociative Disorders, Spock, The Tummy Blues, Therapy

I’ve only had one tea so I will have at least another.  I made a comment last night that I feel I am now in a “do or die,” situation.  Well, I need to “do” but I feel like I am “dying” right now!

I’m still shitting all over the person I know and acting like an immature, little twat.  I feel guilty as all hell about that and it’s making me think of how I’ve destroyed so many other good things from my past.  I can’t figure out if I’m cycling or not or if my moods are just plain old fucked.

What do they say? “Fear is a great motivator?” Well, last night I was frustrated to the max.  I just wanted to steamroll the hell out of everything.  I was like, “Bring it on!” I felt like I was ready to take on the world, even though I was still pretty scared.  It was the “do” as opposed to the “die.”

Now, yep.  I’m “dying.”  And here I sit, making a blog post, still waiting to have another tea while I should be getting my “dying ass” out the door to “do” everything!!!

I’ve even been crying.  My stomach is in knots.  I’ve been spending a fair amount of time on the toilet and I feel like I’m going to barf.

Come on, PA! “DO!!!”

Go start with your second tea…

Where the fuck is Spock!!!