Chronic Insomniacs? Don’t Be Too Jealous of PA and Her Meds

July 28, 2009 in Cranky, Facts About Patient Anonymous, Health, Humour, Life is Stranger Than Fiction, Meds

I am only online now as I need to “firm up some details.”  However, there is nothing firm about me at all right now! In fact, I’m really not sure how much of me is even here right now altogether.  I’ll be signing off as soon as I can get what I need to get done and will be back to everyone tomorrow.  As always, your patience is much appreciated!

I have now (I think) realized how people with chronic insomnia who barely manage to get by with a few hours of sleep a night (or less) can actually keep it together.  They have developed coping mechanisms! For a chronic insomniac like PA, who has great meddy-meds that knock her out quite well each night (yes, perhaps envied by other chronic insomniacs…)  Well, here’s where you guys can get the last laugh.

PA, too, will never sleep “properly” either.  So when things go awry for her in the sleep department…OMG!!! Her head can get really wingy! Why? I haven’t developed your coping mechanisms! I’ve never had a chance to develop them! I’ve never needed to as I have my meds!

Guess who got caught in a spot last night without her meds? Guess whose head has gotten pretty fucking wingy today? I think I may have experienced 87% of the human, emotional spectrum.  Well, roughly 87%.  And that was within the span of about five minutes at one point? *PA crosses eyes*

I went over to J.’s last night for dinner.  Why does every post I write containing that phrase always end in a train wreck? Well, realistically, the “train wreck” per se, is transit.  It takes me two hours to get there and if I don’t leave by a certain time, part of it closes and then…what, three hours? I think once, it was three and a half? I mean, two hours is torture enough!

But I was tired last night so I gave in.  Fine.  Gimme the couch.  Bloody hell! Gimme the couch for what??? J. took his meds and passed out in his chair while we were still talking! Super! Sweet Dreams Sleeping Beauty! *laughing* I know.  How mature, huh? I can’t take my meds so, J.? You can’t take your meds!

I put my broken-yet-jury-rigged iPod on to maybe relax.  I did catch a few fitful zzz’s but otherwise, a lot of ceiling staring and then “out the window staring” when the sun came up.  By that time, J. had left his chair.  Go upstairs? Oh, well look at Sleeping Beauty! I’m surprised he’s not sucking his damn thumb!

Maybe some food to boost my blood sugar? J. is a true bachelor.  Not much food around.  So, I grabbed his keys and went out for a walk and picked up some stuff.  A breakfast that promptly wreaked havoc completely on my entire digestive system!!! Great.  So now I’m a strung out zombie who feels like she going to barf any second.

Wait a minute.  Did J. accidentally overdose? It’s like 1100hrs!!! Nope.  Sleeping Beauty is still all cozy in his “wittle bwed.”  FUCK ME!!! At this point, I was debating leaving with just a note on his coffee table saying that his “Princess Uncharming” would call him later.  However, I felt that would be rude.  Not to mention, I wouldn’t be able to lock the door behind me.

Well, now! 1300hrs! Sleeping Beauty has arisen! Ugh.  We talked for a bit and I finally left.  We’ve got to stop playing this redonculous version of “Public Transit Russian Roulette.”  We just get too spastic and lose track of time! So as a result, I definitely need to keep a stash of my meds at his place.

Okay, it appears that my “business” is done, taken care of.  Yes? I think I going to take my blessed meddy-meds now and

…zzz…